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Everything posted by kquest87

  1. HAIR

    So guys... I want to know yall preference on hair... not on the body, on a girl's head. Short, long, curly, straight, blond, brunette, rainbow, red heads, and in case of women with "urban" hair, natural ir relaxed? Reason I ask because I always get an array of opinions with my hair. I choose to have my hair natural without the use of chemicals. When I wear my curly fro or a wash and go, I get no dont like it, looks like you didnt do anything to it or I love it, wish my hair did that! For some reason people hand always find themselves in my hair pulling my curls to watch them spring back or fluffing it. When I straighten it I get why did u get rid of ur curls or OMG love how it shapes your face, u look so much more mature... womanly not elderly, lol and thankfully less hands. So it got me thinking, what is you guys preference? In general but also when it come to black women hair, like the natural look or the relaxed/straight look?
  2. Thank you Queen for your responses. I absolutely agree with everything you say. And I am happy you touched on those topics before I, for I am sure I may not have been as pleasant. Know what, nah I still got to comment on this. I am a choice mom. That make me "selfish" to you? oh well. I am single on top of it... does that a bad mom... to you? Ha, oh well. I am a registered foster mom, I have fostered kids. I know of kids with both parent, kids with one parent, kids who has no parents and now raised by siblings, aunt/uncles and grandparents, all of which were removed from their homes. I guess there are kids with not such great parentals no matter the number, huh? I am in the system as a potential adoptable parent, one day if I did so choose to... but since I am single this somehow will make me a future bad, selfish mom since I don't got a man, huh? Can I take care of a kid and raise them right without a man???... damn right I can... and do. Shorty got a job, shorty got a car and shorty pays her own rent, pretty sure I got parenthood too. Also maybe some research needs to be done on AI, before trying to talk facts. Here, I will give you some facts...Most men now a day agree very willingly to a commited contract in meeting their donor kids once they are 18 and most are anticipating that day. My friend was a donor for 3 years, he got 10 years until the eldest donor child is 18 and he is itching to get to know them. Fact- Did you know they also have the sibling registry where kids can find and get to know their half siblings. I can give hundreds of cases of closed adoptions and sealed records, where kids never find out anything about their ancestry. My aunt and a cousin included. So for you to say AI kids can never find out about their ancestry is completely false and to say kids raised by single parents are doomed to be criminals are so far from the truth it's ridiculous. Back to Carastarey, do what makes you happy. No one can live your life but you. No one but God know your heart and mind better than you. You will find the right man for your life, regardless of children. If it is meant to be it will work. Just don't settle, do what makes you happy for your life. One day, you will meet your husband. And once you find the best, who cares about the rest.
  3. Wow, you sound just like me... except I am 28 now. Happy early birthday by the way. Yeah girl its hard. It's awfully hard to find someone. What I hate most is the judgemental looks you get when u tell a guy, Im a waiting virgin, I swear most act like u told them u got ebola or something. Then I actually met a guy totally willing to wait but soooo focused on his career nothing else was important to him. He says give him a few years.... I hope to be a mom by then. I been thinking about being a choice mom as well. At 1st I put my deadline at 30 to meet someone or else AI, but Im pushing that to 32. I am in process of moving to somewhere in CA. Hoping moving across the country will give me a better dating pool and God willing find my guy. I wish you all the best of luck. Sorry to hear about the boyfriend. But don't give up girl and don't settle.
  4. Someone EXACTLY like me, no. I think it is good to have sone differences. Those differences could have bring better behaviors out of you. Help me be a better me, and vise versa.
  5. Guys, who pays?

    Well 1st I think it is very refreshing to see such gentlemenly responses. I am old school. On a 1st date, especially a promising one, I think it is nice he pays. I like chivalry. Not every date, I like to treat my guy too sometimes... if he lets me, but for a 1st date, yes, the guy pays.... if I pay promptly for myself it prob means I got this and prob don't want a 2nd date. If a guy ask for us to go dutch on a 1st date I will of course pay but no brownie points for him. My dad was 61 when I was born, all I know is old school, lol.
  6. I'm MARRIED!! 6-13-15. Our story :)

    That is awesome, congratulations!!!! Have a great time.
  7. Sounds pretty bias to me. Not in a bad way, just she found a really nice guy and wrote about him and assumed because he is Mexican and act that way then they must ALL act that way. Not true. If I were to base ALL Mexicans on my past relationship I would say controlling, possessive, aggressive and when you try to leave them, they turn stalkerish. Do I believe that of course not.... he was just crazy as hell. Would I date a Mexican again sure I would, cause I know that like the guy mentioned above there are good ones too. I hate stereotyping, and we all do it at times, but I honestly try to stay open minded about every race because you never know if u might find your diamond in the roof.
  8. HAIR

    My friend Traci looks a lot like her. Same length, shade of red, even fair complexion. Unfortunately she is in a relationship, and also not WTM
  9. Favorite Sports teams

    New England Patriots!!!!
  10. Lol at Photo Girl, I was thinking the same thing. Not much in common. Im not into video games... though I like to watch all the cool graphics they have now a day. But a person who is different than you is actually a good thing. I see nothing wrong with ur personally from the little I have read about you. You seem pretty well rounded, like several activites. More introverted I think, but nothing wrong with that. Finding people are hard, trust me I know... dating sucks, but I am determined. You should stay determined too, never give up, never surrender. (Anyone know the movie, lol). What is the social scene like where u are, are there many singles available, perhaps u need to look into a bigger selection?
  11. Yeah Cavalier, I totally agree with the others. You sound like a pretty good catch. Any women of intelligence who appreciate a man who is ambitious and a drive for success. Your driven and passionate for your career goals. Yes granted, women are attention seeking time-sucking love people. I don't want a man's money, just his time. So as your time is scarce finding time to date and get to know someone could be tricky. But you have great hobbies, sharing one or some of those are great way to multi-task, hey take pic of her. And I see nothing wrong with wanting to know more about the Islamic religion. Your brother is important to you and gets getting to know a part of who he is. And there are parts of the Islamic religion that are similar to Christianity. Some similarities that could bring yall closer. So, you sir, I have confidence will find a girl that peaks your interest. I am sure their are many girls who you will peak theirs.
  12. Can you just be friends with a woman??

    Yes, this is true, I admit. Though plantonic, in some ways it does resemble a relationship just because of the masculine/feminine nature. I am very protective of him. Id kick someone behind royally over him. And he definitely been in a brawl over me... in college... drunk people. And boy does he have a temper when he sees a "damsel in distress". Lol. I have my doors open and I have to fight to pay the tab. I know in having my friend who treat me as a lady I could not accept my man to do any less, and though Dennis isnt the jealous type, I kinda am. His ex didnt approve of our friendship and felt since they were together every other female shld be dropped. And for her, he attempted to do so. I felt abandoned and mad as hell. After they broke up, he came running back. He had to do some serious brown nosing, spoiling and apologing to get back on my good side and I told him after 8 years (at the time) if he ever dead me like that again I would drive the 3 hours to his house and personally kick him so hard in the balls best of luck using them. But then again I am extremely protective of my girl besties too. The cops once threatened to pepper spray me to make me let this one guy go after I caught him with his hands around her throat. So I think if anyone is closely bonded with another person, of course you will want the best for them and see them happy and if they are in pain, your in pain. Regardless the sex
  13. Can you just be friends with a woman??

    I know Im not a guy but I couldn't help myself. A guy and a girl could absolutely be just friends and in many ways that relationship is sooo much better than a romantic relationship. Me and my "brotha from another montha" been besties for 10 years! I <3 him, as a best friend type way. He doesn't want anything more and neither do I. He is hot too, and I am always trying to play match maker for my hunking cowboy. Best things about a guy friend there are no reserves, no barriers, no standards, no embarrassment. We are not interested in each other so free to be absolutely off our rocker. And surviving college together we have literally seen the very WORST of each other. I don't have to hid my crazy, not trying to impress him. I dont have to shave, my hair can be crazy, I am free to release bodily noises, he is free to blow up my bathroom. Unlike with couples u dont have to worry about arterial motives, like pretending to be truly interested in hope for sex. He is still around because he clearly like my personality. And I his.... well mostly. And you can be perfectly honest without fear not being put in the dog house. "Kim those jeans make ur butt look wide... burn those." "Eww gross dude, why u shave ur beard, u look like a pedo now" "Kim quit nagging" "Dennis your being an a$$" stuff like that. My point is, your not attracted to every guy or girl u encounter, so to think just because your opposite sex it is impossible to "just be friends" no way. Asexual plantonic opposite sex friendships are the best. My future husband will def have to be accepting of my freindship with Dennis. Just as I would accept a 100% platonic relationship he would have with a friend girl.
  14. Yes, I would date someone with a child. My mom was pregant when she got with my dad and he accepted me before my birth and named me. When dating someone with kids it's of course harder. Is just not the two of you. Its 3 or more of you. You can understand a break up, kids may not, it effects them too and when you get married your an instant parent. I feel like the child and the man must accept and love me. If his kid doesn't like me and against me, I don't see it working. Also you have the child's mother. We will forever be in each other lives as well (if she is around) and have to find a way to make our new extended family work.
  15. That is a hard question to answer. Everyone who has choosen to wait has done so for their own personal reasons. Many for religious reasons, some for love, some... not saying here... but some people are still virgins because they may not have the means of obtaining a person's interest enough to want to sleep with them. Huge grey area on reason to wait. I personally was rapped as a child and I told myself next person who touches my in that way will be my husband. I am also a germaphob, not interested in sleeping with a cesspool of people. Best advice I can give when it come to sticking with it to aviod situations that would put you in a tempting position. Also you should be absolutely confident in ur decision to wait and finally when u feel your resolve slipping it's nice to talk to other like minded people to encourage you to stay strong.... like here.
  16. How many weddings have you been to?

    I've been to 3 weddings, I was part of one.
  17. 1st, I thank you for your service to our country. And at 28 I think everyone know I am getting impatient, but everytime I feel my resolve slipping, God pull me out of my rut. It's hard dating for anyone, esp for WTM. Main reason Im planning to relocate, trying a new city hopefully will find better opinions. I dont have much advice but to speak up, never know who you might meet. My guy friend meet his wife at Olive Garden, saw her and her friends as they got their food they bowed their heads and said grace, he walked over started a convo, they hit it off, 10 months later was engaged.
  18. What is your escape?

    Thats pretty cool 29K. I really don't have an escape. If im stressed I normally do whatever in that particular moment to relieve stress. Can be taking a nap, hanging with friends, music, church or maybe taking a shot.... or 4.
  19. Choice Moms

    Hey ladies, so I have a question. As I get older and still single, for me the thought of motherhood comes to my mind. Im 28. I been thinking what if I never meet my husband... what if I don't meet him till Im 40 and lose my chance to be a mom. Is that something I am willing to accept? Granted I am a foster mom and willing to adopt, but that is a lot different than choosing to birth a child out of wedlock knowing I will be a single mom. A friend of mine did it, went to a sperm bank and had a daughter. It got me thinking.... The Back-up Plan. I feel horrible about it at the same time, like I have to resort to buy sperm to have a child because I clearly dont have the means to get a man on my own to settle down with? How badly do I want to hear those words "mommy"? I told myself, if by age 30 I am still in the same predicament I am now, I'm going for, #team choice mom. I can't see going through life with children, living without a spouse I am, unfortunately use to,but not being a mom is a out. It got me thinking, how do you ladies feel about it? Being a choice mom, using a donor? Id like to know where yall stand.
  20. starting over

    Thanks Mark, and it's ok. I'm over it, back in the dating scene... sort of. Thanks for the advice Spirit2change. I was looking at Davis,CA and maybe Santa Barbara. I will def look into Glendale and Sunland.
  21. starting over

    Hey everyone! Guess who's back... ME! I hope everyone been well. Quick update on me, school going great, lost another 15lbs go me :-)... and me and my bf broke up... :-( Still a virgin and that is a good thing... sort of... double edge sword, yall know how it is. Our break was mutual. I am ready to settle down have kids, be a wife, and he was more so career driven, his only focus. But non the less, I wish him the best. I am another year older now, 28. I do put myself out there to find eligible men or shld I say so eligible men can find me, and I think I have come to realize that geographically wise, the choice in bachelors sucks here. So I am thinking about packing up and starting anew. New city,new people, new opportunities. My job is national which allows me to transfer. I was thinking about maybe Stockton, CA.(similar in size to my current home, tons of culture and sunshine) or maybe Jersey City, NJ. Close to NYC (I mean what has a better pool of men selection then there) but juat out of it to aviod the high rates. I actually havr never been to either place, have any of you? Thoughts?
  22. starting over

    Thanks! Maybe a suburb of LA. I really dont like living in big cities. Great for fun and night life. But I like having a yard, hiking, see the stars, sleep without being awaken 3am to sound of ambulance, lol. Know of any good suburbs in that area?
  23. starting over

    Thanks Steadfast. I have lived in FA and spent a lot of time in GA and I found it way out my comfort zone. And where I was I found many racial discriminations and segregation still. I am a person who enjoys all cultures and races. I of course can not speak for all the south, but I don't like the south personally for those reasons... makes me uncomfortable going back there to live.
  24. Male Doctors....

    I have had both male and female doctors. My one male doctor was super nice and gentle, made me feel comfortable and even plan sure he use extra lube for the duck. He was blessed to get a higher paying job and left the state. 😒 Then I got another guy doctor, rude jerk, he looked at me like I was crazy when I said I was still a virgin, and my concerns which him being down there was "ur a big girl, you had it done before, ur fine. Obviously the words ouch and that hurts doesn't matter to him. He made cry, and bleed. That was the one last time he touch me. My current doctor is a women, and I love her, like my 1st doctor she is very caring and understanding. She actually waited until engagement with her current husband so she understands and even take extra measures to make sure I am ok. I have learnt guy or girl if u are an inconsiderate jerk to me, your not touching me and definitely not coming near me that that damn duck!