CrystalFaerie

Active Members
  • Content count

    565
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Posts posted by CrystalFaerie


  1. Aromantic asexual and wouldn't have it any other way!

    On 2020-03-10 at 2:50 AM, Queen said:

    As a waiter, what is your sexual orientation?  Some say there is a spectrum: gay at one end, straight at the other.  Then there is bisexual, demisexual, pansexual, asexual, transexual, and more.  

    Just pointing out that transsexual (or transgender) isn't a sexual orientation, it's a gender identity.

    1 person likes this

  2. I first joined in February 2014 (age 18).

    Relationship status: single

    Virginity status: virgin, never kissed or made out with anyone

    WTM status: waiting till marriage. My reasons for doing so were that I couldn't see myself having sex with someone I wasn't extremely emotionally close to and didn't trust. I considered sex a way of expressing that closeness and trust.

    As of now, February 2020 (age 24):

    Relationship status: still single. I tried dating for a while, but didn't enjoy it.

    Virginity status: virgin, but I've kissed and made out with a couple of people. Also didn't enjoy it.

    WTM status: it's complicated. A couple of years after joining this forum, and thanks in part to discussions on here, I started becoming more comfortable with the idea of sex, which I wasn't before. I decided that while I was still waiting for a close emotional bond to go all the way, I wanted to explore the rest and challenge my comfort zone through dating. I did so, and realised that actually, I didn't care about sex, kissing, or dating at all - what I'd wanted all along was the closeness, but I'd thought romance and marriage were the only way to get it. Long story short, after a lot of questioning, I figured out I'm asexual and aromantic. I've since been focusing on other ways to be close to people, and I couldn't be happier. Turns out I'd much, much rather have a best friend than a husband.

    Because of this, it's very unlikely I'll have sex or even be in a relationship, now or in the foreseeable future. I can't say I never will, but if it does happen, I'll still need to build trust over a long period of time before doing the deed. And if it doesn't happen, I'm 100% fine being celibate and a virgin for the rest of my life. In fact, as things stand, I'd much prefer it that way :)

    3 people like this

  3. Hey all! It's been a while, thought I would drop in and see how things have been going here. It's a shame this forum is mostly abandoned now... It was great hanging out here and I met some great people, I hope you're all well.

    As for me, I'm still studying at university, currently at masters level, and still enjoying it. When it comes to waiting till marriage... well, I'm not exactly waiting anymore, but not because I found anyone and changed my mind. After a lot of soul-searching, I've come to terms with the fact that I'm asexual and aromantic :) This doesn't change much in practise, but it's been a relief to realise - and explains a lot about why I decided to wait, lol.

    Anyway, I wish you all the best, and good luck on your waiting journey for those of you still waiting!

    1 person likes this

  4. 45 minutes ago, Dave1985 said:

    But I always used the abbreviated version, wtm.org. It was a direct link to waitingtillmarriage.org... I briefly thought the site was gone when wtm.org linked to godaddy.com...

    Ah right. I didn't know wtm.org used to lead here. My bad!

    2 people like this

  5. On 2017-10-09 at 10:59 PM, StarGate SG1 said:

    So just make sure you go to the people with the proper skills to help you. Just because someone is a friend or family member, does not mean they have the skills to help you....

    I needed to hear that today, thank you.

    *

    I completely agree with the above post. I would add the following to the second point:

    Sometimes people genuinely care and want to help, but they don't know how. Maybe they think you want space when you really want a hug. Maybe they think you don't want to talk about it when you really do. I have a number of support people in my life who were completely lost - always trying their best, but still at a loss, sometimes to the point that their efforts were counterproductive - until I told them what I needed. It can take a heart-to-heart conversation, or even a spreadsheet with "what I need", "what to do when ___", etc if necessary. In any case, if you believe this person is supportive of you and wants to help but honestly doesn't know how, I would highly recommend talking to them about it.

    Sadly, it's true that not everyone has the skills to help you in this kind of situation. In that case, it's okay to turn to someone else. Maybe you could find a support group for what you are experiencing. You don't have to be alone just because one person wasn't able to help.

    Best of luck to you (((hugs)))

    4 people like this

  6. I hope you feel better soon!

    My pet bunny really likes to nibble our house plants, and he knows he's not allowed to. Yesterday I caught him nibbling one, so I told him off. As soon as I wasn't looking anymore, he hopped over to the next house plant and nibbled that one. Every time I told him off, he would just hop over to the next one, and the next, and the next. He went around the entire living room like that. To be fair, he wasn't wrong. I never told him not to eat all the plants...

    One time I went to a meeting where the speaker talked about printing a flute with a 4D printer. He meant 3D, of course. But it was funny listening to him talk about his "four-dimensional flute" during the entire presentation.

    Last week I realised the key I have to a storage room at university actually unlocks all the rooms on that floor. Said rooms are the offices of my teachers. I realised this late at night, while I was tidying up with a classmate and nobody else was around. So I did the obvious thing... I unlocked my professor's office, hid in the darkness, and jumped out shouting "BOOH" when my classmate walked past :D

    PS: @mewaiting good luck for your exam tomorrow!

    3 people like this

  7. Hey guys :D

    After vanishing for a couple of months, I'm back and I see people have been talking about the site being dead. Since I've had values on my mind for a while now, I thought I'd use it as a topic to hopefully hear a bit from you guys (and get to know the new people better - hi!).

    WTM people talk a lot about their strong values and how they guide us in life. We also talk a lot about marriage and future families. My question is: which values did your parents teach you that still guide you today? (Not necessarily WTM, but that can be one of them!) And which values would you like to pass on to your children? Are there values you learnt on your own, but that you wish your parents had taught you?

    I'll start: I didn't have a religious or particularly ethics-oriented upbringing, so values like faith, community or even generosity weren't often talked about. I ended up exploring those parts of life on my own. Still, my parents taught me these values which I am glad I hold today:

    • respect for living beings, nature and the world we live in
    • respect for books and education in general
    • gratitude for what I have
    • awareness of my roots and appreciation of my culture
    • critical thinking and not relying on others to make my own choices
    • treating people according to who they are rather than what they are (African or European, straight or LGBT, rich or poor, old or young...)
    • by extension, pride in who I am despite peer pressure to conform

    These are all values I'd like to pass on to my children. Others I wasn't taught but would like to pass on are:

    • reverence towards all deities and acknowledgement of what is greater than us
    • spiritual roots and tradition
    • the importance of family and community
    • respect for ancestors and those who paved the way for us, and for the wisdom of elders
    • communication and reconciliation over anger and resentment
    • compassion and generosity
    • speaking well of others

    As you can tell, many of these are religion-based; the others are things my family implicitly valued, but never really taught. I believe the above points would've made my upbringing stronger and provided more solid foundations from which to grow. Though I'm glad I built them eventually, and overall I am happy with the way my parents raised me, I would like to provide these foundations from the beginning to my children.

    Your turn now! ;)

    3 people like this

  8. Given how many people share my tradition, I'll probably have to :lol:

    In all seriousness, I would marry someone of any faith or non-faith so long as they met two criteria: 1. their beliefs/values stem from a similar place as mine - that is, being the best person you can be through compassion, tolerance, piety towards their God(s) (if religious) and showing consideration for all life; 2. they respect my beliefs and tradition. I wouldn't marry someone who expects only their beliefs to be practised openly in the household. It should be a fair deal - the children get exposed to both traditions, and when they're old enough they decide for themselves. Criteria 1 is important because no matter what they choose, they should be raised first and foremost as good people. I'd much rather have kind, discerning Christian/Muslim/Jewish/other children than selfish, disrespectful Hellenic ones.

    So yes, I would marry someone of a different faith so long as our other beliefs line up.

    2 people like this

  9. Personally I think this is a fantastic idea. I think I heard about it a while ago and had the same thought - it has the opportunity to bring closer a lot of people who wouldn't really interact otherwise. If a temple of my religion was included in a building like that (well, first off, I'd be amazed it's included somewhere xD) I would most certainly go there to worship!

    My only worry would be that this could lead to disagreements and potential vandalism. I can easily see, for example, members of one group (any group!) jumping on the opportunity to trash another group's holy place, or to cause havoc in the common room. I don't think these people would be in the majority, far from it - and there would likely be less and less as time goes by and as dialogue is encouraged - but it would still have the potential to be harmful and discouraging.

    I still think it's a concept well worth trying out.


  10. Yesss a Jewish person! (Well, a believer in Judaism.) It's lovely to see an extra faith represented here. I've been wondering where our Jewish waiters were :P

    So if I understand you correctly, you're not ethnically Jewish but you did convert to Judaism?

    I'm your local Pagan by the way. Hellenic polytheist.

    1 person likes this

  11. 1. What is your favourite word?

    Ineffable and goulash. Better: ineffable goulash.

    2. What is your least favourite word?

    Greubons. It's a Swiss word for the hard bits that are left over when lard melts.

    3. What sound or noise do you love?

    Splashing water.

    4. What sound or noise do you hate?

    Loud and unexpected noises.

    5. What turns you on?

    Kindness and intelligence.

    6. What turns you off?

    Arrogance and people who smoke.

    7. What is your favourite curse word?

    Dammit!

    8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?

    Humanitarian relief worker, or funeral director.

    9. What profession would you least like to attempt?

    Soldier.

    10. If Heaven exists, what would you want to hear God say to you when you arrive at the pearly gates?

    "The Fields of Asphodel are that way, sweet one. Your loved ones are waiting for you."


  12. 14 hours ago, samaye said:

    People tire me. Sometimes I wish I could retire already and become a hermit in the mountains. But then I would have to learn how to hunt....

    You can join in on my plan if you like. The idea is to run away to somewhere where indigenous beliefs are still widespread, then convince the locals that I'm a a nature spirit. They will leave out food offerings, thus saving me the effort of learning to hunt. Perks of the job include singing at twilight, dressing in flowing robes and darting in and out of the corner of people's eyes ;)

    4 people like this

  13. Is he open to other forms of physical intimacy? Maybe you could talk to him and together, try to go back to kissing, holding hands, cuddling, etc. Depending on his limits, you could try making out, or even slightly more sexual activities that aren't actually sex. That might be a way of getting intimate again and releasing a bit of your pent-up sexual energy.

    I don't have much other advice, but I am sorry to hear that you're in this situation and I hope that you find a solution that is the best for both of you. Hugs.

    1 person likes this

  14. (not a married waiter)

    Sex is supposed to be whatever you want it to be. Want to have fun and playful sex? Go for it. Want to have slow, romantic sex? Go for it. Want to have rough, kinky, porn-style sex? Go for it. Whatever makes you and your partner happy (and is consensual) is what sex is supposed to be.

    The main problem of porn isn't the type of sex that it depicts. It's the expectations. In real life, you don't get laid just by staying after class or fixing someone's plumbing. Girls (and guys) aren't there just to satisfy your every kink. Girls don't all have perfect curves, big breasts and no body hair. Guys don't all have six-packs, and they're not all massively well-endowed. All this is not realistic and often not respectful either.

    Real sex should be down-to-earth and respectful of your partner. Beyond that, it can be whatever you both want it to be.

    15 people like this

  15. I swear I gasped when I saw the title of this thread. This is the moment I've been waiting for all my life :D

    I'm your local polytheist and I'm pleased to say hi! I'm a Hellenic polytheist and have been since I was twelve, though I took a side-step through Wicca and eclectic Paganism in my late teenage years. I'm also a New Zealander living in Switzerland. So as you can see, both a Pagan and an international member! There's a lot more internationals than Pagans but we're definitely here :)

    What kind of Pagan are you? I'm curious to know :D

    4 people like this