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Everything posted by CrystalFaerie

  1. This (and the rest of your paragraph) is exactly what I'm experiencing right now. Story time: there's this guy I really like, and we get on great. My friends have repeatedly said we're perfect for each other, and honestly, I think it could work out. The caveat? We're both really, really, introverted and shy. I've liked him for something like six or seven months, but we spent half that time ignoring each other and only talking if necessary because we know that we both like to be alone, and we didn't want to encroach on that. The second caveat? He's leaving town in less than two months. I'm having trouble coming to terms with that. We might still get something to work out, but the thought that we missed out on a great opportunity because we were both too shy frustrates me a lot… To answer the question, though, I would prefer an introvert. As an introvert myself, I feel like they would "get" me better. On the other hand, I tend to be attracted to extraverts, because I envy their sociability and capacity to take things lightly - things I myself am not good at. In the end, I think it depends on the person, not how extraverted or introverted they are. But if I had to choose between two people who were perfect in every way, one an extrovert and one an introvert, I would go for the introvert.
  2. Questions for the ladies of WTM

    1. Eh, it depends on what's taking precedence over me and in what way. I'd be okay with a man whose religion was the most important thing in his life, but not if his service to his God(s) constantly took away from his time spent with me. For me, religion is one of the most important aspects of my life, but that only means that it's what drives me, what forges my worldview, not what limits my friendships, hobbies and free time. I wouldn't mind it and even admire it if my husband's religion took precedence by expanding his interactions rather than limiting them. I would rather he reached out to me out of faith ("I see you're stressed these days, would you like to pray with me about it?") than closed me off ("I see you're stressed these days but I need to do my daily prayers, we'll deal with it later"). Does that make sense? I would also accept it if my husband himself came first in his life. To be honest, I think we all should. Of course, we should care for each other and support each other, but we are not responsible for each other. I wouldn't want my husband to sacrifice his hobbies or time alone for my sake. A little sacrifice is good - compromise would actually be a better word - but we should each retain our individuality. As for other things that could take precedence, such as career, money and so on, no. I'm a strongly family-oriented person and for me personally, marrying someone for whom couple and family are less important than work would go against how I want to live my life. 2. I think it's important, but that doesn't mean you need to do it every day. I wouldn't mind if my husband's sex drive wasn't particularly high. So long as we did it from time to time and bonded through other activities, spent time together, had non-sexual physical contact (hugging, kissing, holding hands etc) and cared for each other, I would be happy. 3. Yep. I've lived in three countries so moving wouldn't uproot me too much. It wouldn't be easy, of course, and I would obviously think about it and discuss it at length with my husband first, but I would do it. I've actually thought about this a lot and to be honest, I would be surprised if, in ten or fifteen years, I still lived in the same country as now! I would not raise my children in a war zone or an area with high crime rates though.
  3. What are you reading?

    Xenophon's Anabasis and a book on the history and culture of Mesopotamia. I've been trying to start Ransom Riggs' Library of Souls for about four months now but study consumes my life…
  4. Random Thoughts

    I… actually… had lunch with the guy I like I know it doesn't sound like much but I've liked him since the beginning of the school year, but we're both super shy and hardly ever talk. But we got a bit closer during our department's festival (and he actually complimented me ohmygod) and I managed to invite him for lunch to discuss school stuff and argh I'm just so proud
  5. Warning: Phishing site

    The warning's gone for me!
  6. Prepared to wait forever?

    I feel the same way. A few years ago, I was pretty strict on who I was interested in dating, but now I'm happier to let attraction guide me. If I'm interested in a guy and he's interested too, I won't refuse a relationship just because he doesn't fit every single one of my requirements! If he's perfect for me in every other way and we love each other, we can work through that. I don't mind never having sex in my life. Sure, I'd like to experience it, but it's not like my entire life revolves around that experience. My main concern would be not having children, but then I could always adopt - and as a bonus point, I could confuse my children when they realise that their mother is a virgin Actually, the main situation in which I could see my resolve waver is if I met someone perfect in every way, I trusted him completely, we were in a stable and long-term relationship, and I was ready to have sex with him. In that case, I would seriously consider doing it. The main reason I'm waiting till marriage is because of the emotional commitment and closeness that sex involves, but if we're already close and emotionally committed, having sex isn't too far of a jump. But that's an issue that I'll deal with when I get to it (and at this point in my life it's probably still going to be a while ). But I wouldn't settle for someone or go out and hook up with someone just for the sake of having sex. Either I do it when there's an emotional connection, or I don't do it at all.
  7. Warning: Phishing site

    Yep, I was gone for ages because I couldn't access the site. The warning popped up every few seconds and it was just impossible to navigate. Now I'm using Google Chrome and it's been okay so far...
  8. How do you pray?

    Back in school, I remember asking one of my friends, a Christian, whether she addressed God as "tu" (French informal "you") or "vous" (French formal "you"). She told me people say "tu" in their prayers because you're supposed to be close to God, and like any other intimate relationship, it would be awkward to be too formal. This exchange has been on my mind lately, and I thought it would be an interesting topic to discuss How do you pray? What kind of language do you use? Why? For me, it depends whether I'm praying as part of a ritual (even the less important, daily ones) or on the spur of the moment. During ritual, my prayers go something like this: ​Khaire Hestia, sweethearted Goddess, keeper of the hearth. I light this candle in your honour, that you may watch over my home and those I hold dear. I consider it important to be formal because the context itself is formal, and the Gods deserve to be approached with respect. On the other hand, if I'm in an urgent situation or just out and about, I'll say something more like this: Hestia, please watch over my house. I think I forgot to lock the door. Please make sure nothing happens while I'm away, and I'll light a candle for you when I get back. Thanks. Love you. One reason for this difference is that, while I respect the Gods no matter what, ritual is more focused on building a relationship with them, while spontaneous prayers are for making use of the relationship I've already built. I'm still figuring this out, though. I wasn't raised in a religious household, so apart from what my friend told me, I don't really know how people are supposed to, or commonly do, talk to their God(s). I'm especially curious to know how it differs depending on religion/denomination. So tell me, how do you pray? You're welcome to give examples of prayers if you feel comfortable doing so
  9. I've fallen in love with hymns from the Syriac Orthodox Church, they're so lovely By the way, the language is Syriac Aramaic, a language very close to ancient Aramaic, which was spoken in Judea 2000 years ago.
  10. Random Thoughts

    Damn one of our PhD students is good looking. I never knew it was possible to be so shockingly handsome.
  11. Apparently WTM is selfish or something

    Oh my God, is that why I don't have a penis???
  12. Ask a Catholic! (i.e, me...)

    Thanks a lot, Jegsy. You've helped me understand and feel much better about the subject I didn't know that the saints weren't supposed to be perfect. I thought that they were people who were so awesome and flawless that they were guaranteed to have gone to Heaven - though I guess that just shows my lack of knowledge It does make sense that they weren't perfect. None of us human beings are, really, even our greatest role models. I guess the whole point, then, is not what the saints did, but how they strove to be better people despite it and to serve their faith. I can understand that. I really like Emperor Julian, for example, for what he did for my own religion - but that doesn't make what he did to Christians okay (he didn't actively harm them, but he did make it more difficult for them to get an education and a good job). I would still feel uncomfortable actually sanctifying him, but I can understand the logic behind it. Haha, yes, I've heard that and it always makes me laugh. Imagine what Christmas would be like if we'd kept that part of the story… "Kids, be good and go to bed early. Otherwise, Santa Claus will punch you in the face."
  13. Profile Pictures

    Same here! When I joined up, nobody in my family and none of my friends knew I was waiting (even I wasn't too sure that I was) so I wasn't too sure if I wanted my face on here. But then I thought, huh, who cares The internet is so big anyway, and unless any of my friends/family is actively interested in WTM and searched for it on Google, they won't find me. (And most of them know, now, anyway.)
  14. Ask a Catholic! (i.e, me...)

    Hi Jegsy (and the other secret Catholics out there )! I have a question that's been on my mind for a while, so I thought I'd resuscitate this thread. It relates to a bit of a difficult and even controversial subject, so please bear with me. I don't mean it against Catholics or Catholicism - actually, I'm hoping to get an answer that will make me appreciate/accept you more Due to my studies, I've had to deal a lot with the events of the Late Roman Empire and especially the conflicts of religion that arose. The most well-known of those is, of course, the martyrisation of Christians by polytheistic Romans. Now that was a terrible thing and as a polytheist myself, if I could undo it, I would. People shouldn't be killed just for their beliefs. But what followed is what I'm currently having trouble with - once the Christians came to power, the tables turned and it was the polytheistic Romans who were being killed. I had no idea until just recently on what scale these killings were done. Some part of me probably thought that, once the Christians were in the majority, the rest of the population just happily converted. Turns out that's far from what happened. Even I, a polytheist and ancient history student, had no idea. A whole lot of horrible things were done to people on both sides in those days, and I'm not trying to put the blame on one side or the other or to justify one's crimes by saying the other's were worse. My question relates specifically to the Church's position on this. I know that a lot of Christians were sanctified during this period, and while a lot of them were martyrs - which I agree is a perfectly justified reason for sainthood - some were also people who actively oppressed the polytheists, practised forced conversion and even killed people. A few examples would be St Ambrose, St Theophilus, St Cyril of Alexandria, who was possibly involved in the murder of the philosopher Hypatia and certainly benefited from it, and even St Constantine the Great, who gave the order to destroy and pillage Roman temples (the priests likely didn't fare too well either). So my question is: how do you feel about people who actively participated in the genocide of an entire religion being honoured and sanctified by the Church? I know that every religion has done bad things and that holding them against common believers like you and me only serves to divide us further. Deciding that I hate all Catholics because of the Early Church is like deciding I hate all Muslims because of Daesh, all white Americans because of the slave trade, or all Germans because of the Holocaust. Still, the fact that some of these saints, whose destruction of my religion and its brother faiths was so thorough that nobody dared openly follow them for fifteen hundred years, and that even now, those who do are viewed with confusion and sometimes even hostility, are still revered by the Catholic Church, doesn't sit well with me. But like I said, I do want to bridge the gap between our faiths, so I was wondering what you would have to say
  15. Profile Pictures

    When I joined (wayyy back almost two years ago ), it said somewhere, I can't even remember where, that profile pictures of yourself are appreciated so that people can put a face to your name. Since it's such a small forum and everyone gave me such a warm welcome, I uploaded a picture of myself, and it's been that way ever since. My current profile picture is one I took while trying out Elvish hairstyles. I really liked it and I hadn't changed my picture on here for a while, so I thought, why not I used to find it annoying when people didn't show their own faces online, as I always like to know who is behind the screen. It also helps to humanise them, because we often forget it's a real person we're dealing with. But now I don't mind it so much. I do associate people with their profile pictures but I know it's not them. And, well, it turns out you don't need to see someone's face to understand they're a human being with feelings just like you
  16. Travel: New Zealand

    Great to hear that you had a fun time! Aaaah, you're making me miss it now… I left last year and though I love where I am and what I'm doing now, nothing quite beats home
  17. Apparently WTM is selfish or something

    Hahaha. What an ignorant, immature, badly written article. I'm not really sure whether to laugh or sigh. A few highlights: First off, I have trouble trusting anything that starts with "hate to break it to you". That's his problem. I know it's not like this in all cultures, but in mine, it's considered very bad etiquette to date more than one person at a time. Needless to say that if he's not only doing that, but drops me because the other girl wants to have sex and I don't, he's an idiot and wasn't worth it anyway. C'mon. Say YOLO. I know you want to. Actually, I've heard that you should date/be engaged to your partner for at least two years before you commit, because that's how long it takes for the initial head-over-heels in love hormones to calm down. Though you can still definitely love your partner, that's when you get a more objective view of them and are able to know whether or not you should commit for the long run. If sex means commitment to you, then it's perfectly reasonable to wait for more than 90 days. Also, shaming people who take time to open up romantically is not classy. Not classy at all. Exactly. That's why I'm waiting. So that I can find out beforehand whether there's something to my partner. A guy stalked me once on Facebook and messaged me something like that. I didn't find it attractive. I found it creepy. If you don't use what? Your genitals? Are you telling me that if I don't have sex my vagina will drop off? I'm confused.
  18. Hi Everyone

    Another Faerie! Welcome
  19. Hello everyone!

  20. It depends on the person. I know some lovely people with Aspergers that I would definitely consider dating if we were more compatible, but on the other hand, I've met some really annoying people with Aspergers too. To me, whether or not a person has it matters a whole lot less than the person they are. It's like asking me if I'd marry someone from a completely different culture than mine - it would be different than dating someone from my own culture, sure, but that's not what would make me decide either way. I date people, not labels.
  21. Random Questionnaire

    Surprisingly, I haven't done this yet! 1. Were you named after anyone? Not really, but my name is a family name (my grandmother, great-great-grandmother and several other family members have it). 2. When was the last time you cried? Last year Seriously, I teared up while reading a book two days ago but I haven't really sobbed since September, I'd say. 3. What is your favorite lunch meat? Lunch meat? What's that? Meat that you have for lunch? Is salami an option? 4. Would you bungee jump? Maaaaaayyyyyyybe. 5. What is the first thing you notice about people? Nothing in particular, more their general personality or "feel". I do tend to notice very fast if someone has longer hair than me or is left-handed though. 6. Who do you miss the most? My childhood best friends. 7. What was the last thing you ate? A chocolate angel from the Christmas tree 8. Mountain hideaway or beach house? You're asking me to choose between my two homes! I can't! 9. Favorite sports to watch? I don't really watch sports, but I do watch the Euro and World Cup (football). 10. Hair color? You tell me! Lately it seems to be brown at the top and blonde at the bottom with red reflections. I like to say it's bronze-coloured. 11. Eye color? Light brown. 12. Do you wear contacts? Nope! 13. Favorite food? Sushi, lentils and curry. 14. Scary movies or happy endings? What about non-scary movies with sad endings? 15. Last movie you watched? Les Dissociés. It's a French comedy about a group of people whose souls get stuck in other people's bodies. 16. Summer or winter? Spring. I'm a rebel. 17. Hugs or kisses? Hugs <3 18. Tea or coffee? Tea. Specifically herbal tea. 19. What is on your mouse pad? I haven't used a mouse pad in years. 20. Favorite dessert? Vermicelles! 21. Did you like answering these questions? Yeah, why not.
  22. Hello everyone!

    I'm not in the LGBTQ community, but there are waiters who are, even on here You're not alone. Welcome, and happy New Year!
  23. How do you pray?

    Sorry I took so long to answer but thanks for your perspectives! Samaye, your way of praying sounds very similar to mine. It makes sense - ours are both structured religions in which tradition and more "formal" prayers hold an important place, but random thanksgivings and intimate talks matter too
  24. I'm a bit all over the place at the moment (I've hardly been on here lately, let alone on the blog) but I do intend to keep it up
  25. Hi again Daz! Glad to have you back