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Everything posted by TropicalMermaid

  1. Happy Christmas

    Happy Holidays! Mele Kalikimaka! Warmly, TropicalMermaid
  2. This or That!

    Hhmmm..not really too much into either, though I'll go with Nordstrom. Depeche Mode, or any other 80's band?
  3. This or That!

    I don't actually have a favorite color of hair for guys. While I will say I have not been physically attracted to every guy I've seen, I have been physically attracted to a variety of men who have different body types, hair colors, heights, all skin colors, all eye colors, ect. Are you closer to an early bird, or night owl?
  4. New

    Aloha Michele! So glad you found the forum! Welcome aboard! I hope you gain the kind of support here that you are looking for! I've been on here a month, & am really glad I joined! I'm getting plenty of emotional support from the forum in my decision to save sex for marriage. Enjoy exploring the posts here! Thanks for introducing yourself! Only been to Boston one night, to a really fun dance with some friends of mine! I can relate to being the more conservative one with my sexuality compared to my close friends!-Can't complain though, because they support my choice to save sex for marriage. Hopefully your friends support you. If not, we do!! Welcome, TropicalMermaid
  5. This or That!

    Hhmmmm, rarely eat donuts, though sometimes you just gotta treat yourself-so I'll definitely go with CHOCOLATE donuts! Which Pro surfer inspires you more- Andy Irons or Kelly Slater?
  6. Problems signing out

    Hi Everyone, I have been having issues on my laptop trying to sign off from the forum. I also sign on, sometimes, via my iPhone & I am able to click on sign off & it does. For some odd reason, whenever I click on sign off when I'm on my laptop, nothing happens! Has anyone else had the same problem & been able to fix it? Sometimes I leave my laptop on and come back & see a friend was trying to chat with me. Please know I may not even be near my computer! Other times I set down my iPhone signed in for awhile, & might not be available. If anyone can offer any helpful hints for my signing off on my laptop issue, that'd be awesome! Mahalo! ~ TropicalMermaid
  7. Cowardly Husbands

    If a guy has cowardice, I'm picturing a guy who feels disempowered to a certain degree. Also maybe he is too shy to be the first one to start talking? Feeling very empowered is something I've been currently focusing & working on for myself. Also, overcoming shyness right now in regards to talking to men & putting myself out there to make friends with guys is also a current focus & something I'm working on. There's the other side of the coin from feeling cowardice or insecurity-& that is having a conceited attitude & ego. This , personally for me-the huge ego -is one of my biggest turn offs. It's such a big turn off, that if, even when I see a new guy for the first time that I think is very good looking-& then I notice his ego is huge & he acts like he thinks he's better than others-then he doesn't have another moment of my interest or attention. I do not personally feel I am better or less than anyone. I personally believe each Soul has equal, precious value-& that no Soul is better or less than another; & I also believe we are all each doing our own personal best. If a guy seems insecure or shy, I'm not going to not try to be his friend if he seems kind & respectful. I would have some compassion for his feelings, because I myself am learning to overcome shyness. By the time I feel I am in that healthy, empowered space within myself to be ready to attract my husband in a similar space-I will not be looking to be with a guy that feels really disempowered. I'm not looking to become perfect-just in a generally healthy space within myself. I also am not looking for "Mr. Perfect" to marry. I doubt that exists on this planet, & even if it did-I'd feel too stressed to be married to that! ..So, I do not desire him to be perfect -& if I find he's kinda shy or I end up being the one to initiate conversation, I'm not going to think , "He's displaying cowardice-deal breaker!" I'll have some compassion & if he seems nice & respectful, I'll be happy to talk to him! In respect to my own natural shyness, even though I am aiming for & believe I will overcome much of it, I will want to be friends before starting to date any guy, because I'll just feel more comfortable being myself in that natural kind of progression for me.
  8. This or That!

    Beach, beach, beach! - I know, big surprise!-LOL! ..Although I do have to admit I do love the mountains, and all of nature as well! Hhhmmmm... Thugs, or Pugs??
  9. Dating Advice

    I'll offer my point of view, especially since this was in the "ask the girls" section-although I've been enjoying reading many of the helpful responses from the guys here, as well as the ladies. I don't happen to do any drugs, alcohol, or smoke myself. I highly value my health. I am delighted to find the holistic community near me has many people who don't smoke, drink, or do drugs & want monogamy. I believe it's because these people are so health conscious that many don't want to take these substances. So there are groups of people out there that share these values, even non-religious ones, for those of us that don't happen to be religious. (Not disrespecting religion-I have friends that are religious & I respect them). For me, I am becoming that (for myself also) which I want to attract in my husband. I have worked on becoming an empowered, conscious, more loving, balanced, healthy person which benefits me -and the kind of husband I will attract. Thankfully, this will also benefit our future kids-having cleared out the bulk of our emotional & mental baggage before meeting each other. I am pretty shy in person until I get to really know someone. Since I love to be social though, I force myself to go out to lots of things. This is one of the reasons why after living here only a couple years, I have 3 close women friends & many wonderful, friendly, not super close friends. I go to several social things a week, whether it be a dance, or class, or something my friend has organized. I also don't wait for a friend to say they can go with me to an event-I just go! I admit I am much more shy around men in person. I'm making more of an effort lately to overcome shyness & make friends with men. One friend, I'll call Kathetine & her friend Jake were going to hang out after a class we were all at recently one evening. We decided to meet outside this food place next door to grab something to eat & hang out. I don't know if this sounds odd, although if I'm not even physically attracted to a guy, I still feel more shy in front of him than a woman-and I'm shy in front of anyone newer. So I didn't happen to be physically attracted to Jake, and yet I still felt kinda shy. Not worried about when or where I meet my future husband. I believe when I am in that right for me, healthy space within myself, and continue going about living my life, and continue letting myself be open to meeting new people in new places & ways, & listen to my inner guidance, I will easily, effortlessly attract and meet him. Grateful for the emotional support of this forum on my journey in waiting!
  10. Favourite Tv Show?

    Modern Family! A really funny show! I just watch it online for free now. Only watch something every once in a while, and this has been my favorite for a few years now. Anyone see the show H20 Just Add Water? It got popular & they put it on instant Netflix-a well thought out, entertaining mermaid themed show!
  11. Men in Uniform

    I believe we all have different things that turn our heads. I guess I'm a little less conventional in what I notice 1st. I'm not saying (as given as an example by someone above), that I won't notice or appreciate a guy in a nice suit; although it's not going to be the 1st thing to catch my attention. What turns me on, really? A man that shows he respects women. As far as the much less important what he chooses to wear aspect of attraction, I'll admit a guy wearing jeans is a turn on for me...don't ask why.
  12. Is monogamy unnatural?

    A lot to say on this, but will attempt to give the short version: From being unfortunately deceived by beautiful photos of the jungle of Pahoa on the Big Island of Hawaii, on a website for an intentional community, I went to live there for half a year. Only 1 monagymous couple lived there that I can recollect at this moment. All the rest of the people were polyamorous. There was one other guy that also came to do the volunteer program at the community that was actually more conservative in his beliefs like I was ( and still am). It was truly awful to witness so many people disrespecting each other in these polyamorous "relationships". I don't know how many people in the world feel they have a "natural" drive to have sex with more partners than 1 at a time, but I am highly skeptical after living in this live nightmare of a community and seeing how terribly so many of them treated themselves and each other in their polyamorous lifestyle- I am skeptical anyone on this planet is evolved enough to be able to have a polyamorous lifestyle and treat themselves and each of their sex partners involved in the polyamorous agreement with the degree of love, respect, integrity, honesty,clear and frequent communication, and the level of detachment it would take to even make an arrangement like this work in a healthy way! I can't, even if I tried to fully convey to you the degree of the disrespect to other human beings I witnessed living there- or the degree of pain and heartache that I felt in the terrible vibes of that place. A lot of dishonesty, cheating, rage, selfishness, protecting sex abusers (yes I reported anything I found out & the people in the community, well most of them just chose to just be horrible in the way they treated me when I did but I wouldn't have changed my integrity of reporting then or now or ever), and sexual abuse. I am not for treating anyone abusively in any way. I've never hit anyone in my life- though I would in self defense if I had to. So if someone has a "natural" desire to have more than one sex partner, as I wrote above, I don't think anyone on this planet is evolved enough to do that in a healthy way. If I was born (assuming that this is true) with a natural inner desire to have more than one sex partner, I wouldn't choose to be polyamorous. I would get counseling, and seek support for trying to not give into being with multiple sex partners. I would try to reverse my nature, simply because I wouldn't want anyone that dared to marry me-I would never want to hurt or betray or dishonor or cause them any pain . I feel that would be enough to keep me monygamous, even with polyamorous tendencies. It would be hard, and I'd have to have a lot of compassion on myself -if I had the courage to have compassion on myself. Polyamorous living doesn't work at all.
  13. New member intro./Aloha!

    Hello Everyone! Thank you everybody for all your respectful & kind replies to me! I really appreciate your thoughtful replies, & I appreciate so far, I've felt safe for being open with my really personal experiences I've shared of my life in some of my posts-& that all of you have been sensitive towards me. I haven't received any negative judgement from anyone here-& that inspires me to continue to feel safe to be open & share my own personal experiences. Wasn't sure if I was going to post at all when I first joined the forum a week ago.. I guess I was willing to take the risk of negative judgement replies towards me-for the sake of my intention to inspire even just one person who would get something/s out of it, to let themselves love themselves again, or something positive for them. I wanted to post this post today to say something to everyone here. I am hoping everyone that wants to or does reply to me on this forum in the past or future will hopefully read this. I have a very busy life, so unfortunately I can't guarantee when I'll get back replying to people. I regret to say I can't guarantee for certain. Please do know I never intend to ignore, disrespect, uncare, or unappreciate any of you, or your thoughtful messages/replies! I understand that is you choosing to generously share your own thoughts-& your precious time & energy from your own busy lives! I guess what I hate to say, but need to say, is that if with my busy life, & let's say in the future I get a ton of messages-I might not be able to reply back to every message to all of you! I'll do my best to remember that each of you all have your own important, busy lives, & might not be able to reply to get back to me right away-or at all. Thank you to everyone here -that you are giving me what I was hoping for when I signed up ,& that is receiving emotional support on my choice to save physical intimacy for marriage. Please just know that I don't take this forum, or any one of you-your presence on this forum, your sharing yourself on your posts, your kindnesses, or your thoughtful replies for granted ! Mahalo:) Blessings, TropicalMermaid
  14. New member intro./Aloha!

    Hello, I just joined, & want to introduce myself. When I was in my early 20's I wasn't sure I wanted to get married when I would/will meet my soulmate. I thought we would be in a loving, committed monogamous, ever lasting relationship -without being officially married. Living in an area when I was 24 where most people of different ages had sex with practically everyone else in the community made me want to be more conservative. I also decided after experiencing living in that area that I wanted to be married when I did/do meet my soulmate. I grew up in a very loving home-my wonderful, loving parents adopted me from Mexico as a baby. I then grew up in Northern California in the foothills. I am still spiritual, although not apart of the religion I grew up with. I am still very close friends with people in the church I was raised in, & am grateful my friends & family that are active in the church love me for me & treat me with nothing other than respect & love! A couple years ago, I was blessed to have achieved living where I've dreamed of living my whole life! I live by the warm ocean waters of Hawaii! I have waited to attract my beloved life partner, as I have wanted to do a lot of inner work on myself & become the kind of person I want to be for me & for the kind of person I want to attract to be my beloved partner & husband.
  15. New member intro./Aloha!

    Hello! Thanks for replying to me! Cool-sounds like you've been to Maui? Do I have that correctly-LOL! Never been to Maui, though like to learn about it! Kauai is my heart , probably for the rest of my life though! Did you get the opportunity to visit Kauai when visiting the islands? Have a terrific day! Warmly, TropicalMermaid
  16. New member intro./Aloha!

    Hello Victoria! Thank you for your thoughtful reply! Yes, I'm truly grateful to be blessed to live here! Have you visited Kauai yourself? If not which island/s? Thank you for your kind reply! Blessings, TripicalMermaid
  17. New member intro./Aloha!

    Hello Aurora! Beautiful name, & pretty profile pic! Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me- it's really good to know! I read your about me on your profile page-that's wonderful you feel so confident on your path! Not everyone I've personally met feels that way. I'm grateful to say I am also confident on my own unique path. Aloha, TropicalMermaid
  18. Saving what's left of me...

    I agree 100% with you on this! Hello ThatGirlBrenda! Thank you for sharing part of your story with us! That is so exciting about your new opportunity! Congratulations! Do you happen to have a horse/s?-I love your profile pic! I love kids, & even though I do not have any of my own yet -(I'm waiting until marriage on that one-LOL!)-Seriously I am waiting though. I've always admired single Mothers! That is wonderful that you are creating a wonderful new chapter in your life, & love & care to be a strong example for your daughter! So you will be gone from this online community for awhile enjoying your new adventures! That's so exciting! Have fun! Blessings, TropicalMermaid
  19. What do you have in your big a** purses?

    Big LOL when reading your question! What do we have in there? A man... (just kidding) Depends on the woman. I haven't ever had a big #*@ss purse myself, mostly because I don't like the weight. Mine are usually medium sized with my cell, headphones, extra contacts, Advil, keys, xylitol gum, tiny planner, & pen... ...Although I admit I sometimes have an extra bag with me -with anything & everything I might use for that day-a few sarongs if I get "cold" or want to do my tahitian dance @ the beach, lots of water, an uplifting book, a sweatshirt to sit on... Don't get me started on my beach bag!:0 I do downsize from time to time, since I don't like the extra weight. That preference is starting to shift now though, since I realize it'd be actually helpful for me to carry a little extra weight-since my arms aren't very strong -and it will make my surfing that much easier! Still, sometimes I like to hop out if my car for a walk with just my keys & cell.. Oh yeah, almost forgot! I live on the Garden Isle-so very green here because lots of rain-so when I'm really thinking, I remember to grab my umbrella! -All this stuff on me from a woman that doesn't even wear makeup -LOL! That was a really funny question!
  20. This or That!

    That's a tricky one for me because both types of music have such a wide variety of styles within them...although since I do not like hard rock, I'm going to have to with: Classical. Hula or Tahitian dancing?
  21. Hello! Thank you for sharing your personal thoughts & feelings with us-I feel that is a very brave thing to do! Congratulations on sticking to your own personal standards in your life! It appears you are very clear about the kind of husband you want to be with. I grew up with many of my family members & friends getting married in their early 20's, which is perfectly fine for them. it just ended up not being a choice I chose for myself. I was simply not ready or in the kind of space I wanted to be within myself to decide to consciously attract my beloved future husband. I am happy with the choice I have made to wait until I feel I am in a balanced, healthy, empowered place within myself for myself & so I will attract that in my future soulmate. Although I have not yet attempted attracting my future husband; I am grateful to say I have attracted other loving dreams & desires in other areas of my life. A recent example is when I needed to find a new home to live in. I was not given a lot of notice from my landlord as they then needed the space for themselves; & I was really tired of moving around so much on the island. Some people on the island living here will say moving several times a year is what you do here, & that it's extremely difficult to find a good rental space. For me, I knew I had to step up to the plate if I truly wanted to attract a wonderful new home to live. After I found out I needed to move-each day before doing anything else, I would do several affirmative prayers stating what I would like to receive that was for my highest good. I did not even check any rental listings until I had done this and gotten myself into a positive feeling space also. Once I got myself into a space of feeling good and had affirmed my positive affirmations, I would check my messages & such. I kept my inner knowing most of the time (I'm not perfect at this) that this would manifest for me-even when I saw no evidence of my wonderful new rental space/home. I received what I had asked for in faith I would receive it in a truly unexpected way. It came through a Recommendation from a friend that I don't have the opportunity to spend much time with-& had assumed she wouldn't know of anyone renting out a space. Long story - short-I got picked from others that were also seeking this couples' rental space. They picked me as one of their new renters! I am so grateful I chose to hold onto my belief that I would attract my perfect match for me new home! This married couple were very intentional themselves in that they consciously wanted to attract great match renters to live in their home with them! They often ask me if I am happy, & I enthusiastically say," Yes!" And then they say , "Great! That makes us happy!" Another guy is renting the other space in the house. I am living on the north shore of Kauai in a beautiful, tidy, high vibration (the home feels good) home where everyone respects & cares about each other & there is no drama. Everything that was important to me that I asked for came true! I am very grateful to say I have a lot of times I have chosen to use the law of attraction to create my loving dreams! And that has meant for me, much mind discipline to focus my thoughts & words on only what I want-coupled with positive feelings. I have noticed that I do not attract happy things or people when I am in an unhappy feeling space-even when my thoughts are asking to attract something positive! My loving intention in this post was to hopefully inspire something that resonated to you. Blessings, TropicalMermaid
  22. Am I the only atheist here?

    Hello! It's fun to hear your post where you mention many things I happen to be into as well! I love Jim Self's work! I find articles and books that talk about people who've had signigicant spiritual experience, such as almost dying- and seeing the light & having an experience where they see their deceased loved ones and angels so very comforting for me! I do not like to feel seperate from those I love, so it's so relieving to me to realize that feeling of seperation is temporary-& not eternal! I don't happen to read scriptures anymore, & I spoke a bit more on my shifting out of the religion I was brought in, in my recent post below. I have wonderful family members and friends that are religious though-& the great thing is, we all love, accept, & don't juge one another! Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this!
  23. My best guy friend

    Hello, Sorry everybody-I've actually edited this post due to pondering this topic lots lately & having my opinion shifted, so I apologize to everyone who only clicked on to like the old post, or if it causes any unintended disturbance in the original flow of the replies to my old post. Also, did keep some of my thoughts from my old post, so sorry because it's a bit choppy. I have pondered lately the subject of interfaith or marriages between couples with different belief systems. Interestingly, for an example, my Dad is religious & my Mom was, & now she no longer is religious. She is still spiritual. They both love God & Jesus. The love each other a lot & are truly happily married & I love them both a lot! Talked to my Mom about this lately-she said they both respect each others different points of view, respect each other-& don't try to change the other person. I did a little research & became aware that interfaith marriages were more common than I thought! I even read online about some couples, where one spouse was religious, & the other was atheist. Some couples had made it work & were happy in their marriages, while other couples hadn't been able to make it work & had separated. It looked like it really depended on the two individuals, whether it worked out well to be married or not. It looked like the big thing, was when both spouses respected their partner's differences without trying to change their spouse-these were couples who deeply loved each other & truly wanted to make it work & had. There were some couples that I read about that said it was harder to marry interfaith. I, myself, would not want to date someone that was not the type of person I'd want to marry. It looks like from your post & your interests you listed on your profile page, that Jesus, & the church you belong to are big priorities in your life. I love God & Jesus myself, although I shifted out of the religion I was raised in years ago. I am still good friends with people that are still members of that church & I am grateful to say my family & close friends have only loved me & not judged me. My friends & family also know that I love & don't judge them for being members of the church. No comments are made to one another-just acceptance, friendship & love. I do not feel quite ready yet myself to attract my beloved husband. My plan has & still is to get into a place inside myself where I am feeling really healthy, happy, & empowered for myself & also to attract that in my future husband. For me it's really worth the wait. I notice lots of people who get married and (no judgement-just an opinion of observations of some others experiences), and they look like they've done none or little work on themselves to release old mental &/or emotional baggage that weighs their minds down-& then end up attracting a marriage partner in a similar space. I won't say waiting does not feel very frustrating at times! However for me, it is just so worth it! I am working on getting out of my own way to clearly perceive the answers to my very important questions from God. One thing that's been helpful to me lately, is I will ask my inner guidance to please make it extremely obvious if it's in my highest good to become involved with a particular thing, person, or whatever the instance is. Only you can decide what things you feel you need the other person to have or believe, if you're considering marrying them. Only your own guidance from your communications with God will be able to answer your question. Blessings, TropicalMermaid
  24. How do you get your profile picture on?

    Aww-thanks Rain. A beautiful artist here on Kauai did that painting of me-I was so honored, & it was so much fun! Have you ever been around a wolf/wolves before?
  25. Hi everyone! Thanks for the warm welcome! I really appreciate it! Any tips for how to get my profile picture on? I tried to download a photo from my iPhone from my photos on my iPhone, but it said my photo was too large. I signed up for the free Gravatar account & picked a photo for my Gravatar account, although it's not showing up even in my Gravatar account.. Any tips would be greatly appreciated! Mahalo!