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Everything posted by Aurora

  1. Before I was dating, I thought I'd want to know somebody for 5+ years before marrying them-you'd have to build up that trust though. Once I started dating Phillip though, I think it was about 3 months into our relationship when we began talking about marriage. We've been engaged after dating for just over one year, and by our wedding date, we will have known each other for just over 2 years, which I'm perfectly fine with. I trust Phillip more than I ever imagined, and love him like crazy. So it really depends on the person and the relationship. I can't imagine dating Phillip for more than 3 years, while waiting, without going crazy.
  2. Philip proposed! We've made it so far together, and we've had some struggles and frustrations with waiting sometimes, but we're still waiting for each other, and now we're engaged! I keep crying because I'm so happy
  3. I am engaged!

    Thank-you for all of the congratulations! We're both extremely excited! He sent me on a scavenger hunt at a bunch of our favourite memories, and texted me a bunch of memories we have at each of those locations, such as where we met, our first date location, our common lunch places, and how he knew I was the one because of each of these. Then he was waiting at the end with a picnic dinner, and proposed by singing the song "Would you go with me" by Josh Turner, except he changed the last line of the song to "I love you so, so will you marry me?" I said yes, and we ate some picnic food, took some pictures, then went to share the news by talking to and calling our loved ones. It was the perfect proposal for us, and I love the ring, which he chose himself!
  4. still here and...

    If you stop waiting and just lose it to anyone, then my question is this "Will not being a virgin make it easier for you to find love?" No, it won't. If you're unable to find love because you're a virgin, then those are not the right people for you. Do you want to be with somebody who doesn't respect your decision to wait enough that they'd stay with you? Will that make it better for you? If you did that, then I believe that there would be many times that you would regret it, and wish you had stayed waiting.
  5. A few years-we both want to be done school before we start having children, so probably 4-5 years from now, assuming we get married within a year or two, as we've talked about.
  6. Honeymoon Anyone!?

    When my boyfriend and I have talked about it, we talk about finding a nice secluded cabin in the woods somewhere so that we can have privacy, lots of fun, and a not-too-expensive honeymoon. Also, as was mentioned, our honeymoon isn't the time for sightseeing, it's the time for what we're all waiting for!
  7. Usually mine's around a 5-6, except, like the other females said, around that time of the month. The week before, I'm at least at a 10. Phillip and I are much more cautious around that time because that's the prime time for reproduction, so my body's just ready to go, but we're not!
  8. Phillip's told me that he used to watch porn, but not since a few months before we met. He realized that it wasn't the right thing to do, and that it was something that he could give up. Both in regards to God and to the future relationship that he knew he would have, he understood that he should stop. From a woman's perspective, I really appreciate this. I understand, somewhat, the male need to watch porn, but it also causes a build up of negative emotions in me. As a woman, I can say that, if Phillip was still watching porn, then it would be difficult, once we married, for me to forget that fact. We (women), compare ourselves to others, trying to figure out where we're different, and knowing that our husbands/boyfriends were watching porn makes us, sometimes subconsciously, compare ourselves to the actresses in these videos, and make us feel insufficient. It's hard, knowing that he's seen a 'professional', and that you may never measure up to that level.
  9. Hey girls and guys! I was just wondering what your boundaries in a relationship are, if you don't mind sharing. For me and Phillip, we have a couple rules that help stop us from accidental sex. 1. All clothes stay on, and hands don't wander under them either. 2. No lying down while kissing. 3. No sleeping together. 4. No dates past midnight (it's too tempting to just stay together otherwise) 5. No beds or bedrooms We're alright with cuddling while watching a movie though, although we sometimes cannot get through the whole movie So, what do you all think?
  10. Hello everyone!

    Hello, WTM community! So my name's 'Aurora', and I'm a 19 year old virgin. I decided to join this website because I found that I need somebody to talk to about this, aside from my boyfriend. It feels nice knowing that there's a community of people out there who, like me, believe that sex is a part of the true commitment of marriage, and not just something that should be thrown around and offered to everybody. Up until about 8 months ago, when I met my boyfriend, let's call him 'Phillip', I would have thought everybody on here was a little crazy. I would have gone against this website solely for the sake of doing so. It wasn't that I was against waiting until marriage, just that I had never really thought about it. In my community, everybody is so open about talking about sex, and not really worried about virginity. In fact, my parents have offered to help me get birth control when I needed it. For some reason, I think it was part of God's plan for me, I have always been single. Aside from Phillip, I have only ever called one other guy my boyfriend, and we never did anything more than a quick peck on the lips, mainly because we were early high school students. If I had had a boyfriend before meeting Phillip, and he had wanted to have sex, I probably would have, mainly because my beliefs kind of fluctuated. Sometimes I wondered, is sex really that good that some people can't wait for it? Isn't it just for the creation of children? Why is it so important? The first person that I new that was waiting until marriage was an old boss of mine. She was 25 at the time. I never actually found out why she was waiting, just that she was. Then there was another co-worker at that job who didn't believe in premarital sex or birth control. She got married while I worked there, and soon after was pregnant. Near the end of my first year of University, I met Philip there. I instantly liked him a lot, and we started dating. After a few dates, he sat me down for a serious talk. He gave me a 'heads-up' that he was waiting until marriage (because it was part of his religion, and the beliefs of his community), and that, due to this, he wasn't moving in with anyone before marriage. I told him that that sounded fine to me, and that I understood where he was coming from. I've never been a religious person. I'd always just been like many other people-believing in God, but not partaking in prayer or church groups. After meeting Phillip though, my perspective on life changed. Now I regularly attend church with a co-worker of mine, and can't imagine any other way of living. I don't think that, even if I wasn't with Phillip, I could ever partake in premarital sex now. It just doesn't seem right. Now, I view sex as the ultimate connection between man and wife. It's something that, after meeting Phillip, I know that I desire, but something that I know we will wait for. It's just too important for us not to wait. I've rambled on enough for now. I'm just happy that I found you guys! So once again, hello everyone! Aurora
  11. I think that one thing that has to be mentioned is that no animal other than homo sapiens, (that I know of-correct me if I'm wrong), practices birth control. Animals other than humans have sex in order to reproduce. Humans have sex for a great number of reasons. So it isn't to 'spread our genes' around if we're practicing birth control. I also believe that sleeping around will not get sex 'out of their system' but more deeply engrain it. Once teenagers begin practicing sex, they will most likely, forbidding any intrusion or life changing events that may turn them into Waiters, continue with it. They will always be hungry for more, and will have a more difficult time settling down into a monogamous relationship later in life. Think about it like food, (and I'm not saying that eating from around the world is bad, just using it as a metaphor). When you first taste the cuisine of another nation, say African cuisine for example, you will begin to wonder what other cuisines taste like. You will go around craving all the different cuisines of the world, and imagining what they'll taste like, what they'll feel like when you eat them. You'll eat from them all, unashamed of your gluttony. Then you find a cuisine that you find yourself sticking too. That's fine and dandy, but eventually you're probably going to remember how much you loved the variety of other cuisines, and you'll find yourself first thinking about the other cuisines here and there, then sampling them guiltily, then eventually consuming large quantities of other cuisines from all around. If you've only ever had one cuisine though, it will be easier to dedicate yourself to loving that one cuisine and not craving the rest because you've never really had to worry about what the other cuisines had that yours didn't. So no, I don't think that sleeping around will get it out of a teenager's system. If anything, I believe that it would be more likely to create a midlife crisis.
  12. Hello again everybody! I just wanted to know if you have support in your decision? Does everybody know where you stand on the topic of premarital sex? For me, my parents don't really care either way, as long as we're 'safe'. Phillip's parents believe in waiting though, and they like/respect that we are planning on waiting. They've been a good support team that we can look to for guidance. None of my co-workers really know, and my friends don't really ask about those things. What about you guys?
  13. New member intro./Aloha!

    Welcome to the WTM community I find that a great thing about this website is that it hosts a variety of people. Instead of the stereotypical 'prudes', there's a variety of people here who hold a variety of beliefs as well.
  14. Hey Waiters! I wasn't really sure which section to put this under, so I just kind of put it in 'Discuss Stuff'. Do we have another name aside from 'Waiters'? I feel like we should, because to me, 'Waiters' always reminds me of the restaurant workers under the same title. If we don't have another name, is anybody else looking for a different name? Or is it just me who thinks we could have another one? I don't know-let me know what you guys think...
  15. Before I met Phillip, I was worried that I'd be alone forever (even though I'm only 19). I definitely used to have those thoughts, and sometimes wondered why I was alone. It might be easier for me to say this because I'm in a relationship, but I believe that everybody has a soul mate. Maybe it's because I'm religious, but I believe that God made people in sets of two, and that we all have our matching pair, even though it may not seem like it. Don't ever settle if it doesn't feel right. You'll find that person, even if it may take some time. You don't always have to 'test drive' the car before buying it. Just because you may not like a certain aspect of the car doesn't mean that you won't buy it. Sex is not life, but only a part of it. Wait for the right person, and you'll be much happier that you did
  16. I can definitely understand that! We do make out, just never in riskier areas, such as bedrooms, or while lying down. Sometimes it seems like we lose ourselves in the moment and, occasionally, we toe the line. We're very good at noticing that though, and stopping each other when we think we've gone too far. A lot of it is what we feel comfortable with, and what we know we won't regret. I know that when we pass these lines, we regret it, and that helps stop us next time. Also, praying for strength and guidance helps, but I know that not everybody feels comfortable/right doing that!
  17. 1) I sometimes feel disappointed about this as well, but I talk to Phillip about this, and we both feel the same way. We plan out things that we want to do when we're married, and talk about it all the time. We've been on a couple trips together (one a two day trip to another country, and I stayed with my family while he got a hotel room), and another for a wedding, where there were so many people and so many things going on that we didn't have to worry about the risk of sex (we still stayed in separate rooms though to avoid assumptions). 2) We've been dating about 8 months now, and I know that we'll still feel intimate years from now, even without sex. This is going to sound terribly cheesy, but there's sparks between us that are there when we're kissing, hugging, even holding hands. The intimacy isn't even all that important, since I just love being around him, and spending time with him, no matter where we are. The love in our relationship makes it possible to be together without the intimacy of sex.
  18. I don't feel ashamed of my choice, because I know that it's the right one. When my co-workers and friends are all talking about sex, they'll sometimes gossip about a person that they know of that's 'waiting', and it's not a very positive conversation. They'll call this person a 'prude', and other not so nice names, and I just think that's terrible. I try to stay out of those conversations, and nobody really notices. I don't think we should have to give in and have sex just so that we can be part of the majority. Sometimes I wonder if they talk about me like that, and then I realize that I don't care. If they are saying similar things about me, then maybe there's somebody like me, listening to them, not saying anything, and secretly feeling relieved that they are not alone in their decision.
  19. Phillip and I don't ever-that's one of our rules. Since we're still pretty young, we both agreed that it would be too difficult for us not to do anything. Besides, we both live with our parents, and don't want anybody assuming the worst of us.