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Everything posted by emily1030

  1. How is this Site STILL standing?

    Thanks! Will this work for the profile pic?
  2. How is this Site STILL standing?

    Sorry it took me so long to get back to you! Here is a blue option. I think either the blue or grey could work well.
  3. How is this Site STILL standing?

    @Invincible What do you think about this for the group cover photo? Do you think it will appeal to both men and women? I wasn't sure if the heart would be too feminine.
  4. How is this Site STILL standing?

    I have a private group with some friends and I just went in and checked and Discussion Topics and Chats were options. I'm not sure how the topics will appear, but I think it will help members find previous posts and discussions more easily.
  5. How is this Site STILL standing?

    Have you looked into Facebook Groups vs Pages? It looks like, in groups, you can create discussion topics and even chats. Maybe that's the way we want to go? I'd love to create the background image and icon logo. I'll start brainstorming on that.
  6. How is this Site STILL standing?

    I'd be glad to help with a facebook page. I'm graphic designer, so I can also help in that area if needed. Do we know for sure if new users can sign up or not? If we make a facebook page affiliated with this site, might that cause problems with people who realize they can't even use the forums?
  7. How is this Site STILL standing?

    I really hope this site can hold on. It was a super helpful source for me during my waiting journey and I hope that others will get to use the community here for support as well. I haven't been able to find anything else like it. Let me know if there is anything I can do to help.
  8. Ever since I was young, I thought only married people could have babies, and that transitioned into thinking only married people had sex when I learned what it was. Eventually I obviously discovered that not to be the case, but it was still sort of engrained in my brain. Then I read the book “Diary of a Teenage Girl: Becoming Me” by Melody Carlson, and it helped me to realize that waiting is a choice that you have to make and really commit to. That is when I decided that I would officially make that promise to myself and God. My parents never pushed me one way or another in my decision. In fact, sometimes I felt like my mom was surprised I wanted to wait. It was my decision and I’m so glad I stuck with it.
  9. How many…?

    Before I met my husband, I had dated one other person. But my relationship with my husband started out as a friendship. While we were friends, I briefly dated a few other guys and then when I realized I had feelings for him, I knew immediately that he was the one. It just all made sense. I knew when we started dating that he would be the one. I can’t describe why. I just knew, from our friendship, that we would be perfect and committed to each other from then on. Kind of magical I guess
  10. Birth control/condoms as a married man or woman

    Thanks! We actually just ordered that book a few days ago! We’re excited to learn!
  11. Birth control/condoms as a married man or woman

    I’m recently married. I had tried birth control years ago for acne. It didn’t help with acne and it messed me up emotionally and made me tired and dizzy. After more research, I decided I didn’t like the the idea of hormonal birth control on both a physical and emotional level. I appreciate knowing my body and I prefer not to mess with the natural cycle my natural hormones influence. Now that I’m married, we’ve been using condoms but they aren’t ideal. I’ve heard too many stories about the IUD that scare me. We are interested in studying Natural Family Planning and possibly trying it, especially when we are closer to being comfortable with a surprise pregnancy. I have a friend who has practiced NFP with her husband for 3 years successfully. I think if it is done correctly and the woman has a consistent cycle, it can be very successful.
  12. New relationship - how to tell him I'm waiting?

    This is a beautiful story! Thank you so much for sharing and congratulations! I am newly married (less than 2 months) and it was reassuring to hear you say that it takes time to “practice” and work things out. We both married as virgins and in our experience so far, it’s not like instant sex success. It takes awhile to figure it all out but it’s wonderful to go through that journey together with each other. It is sometimes hard to be patient with the process and not get discouraged. It’s important to laugh and enjoy the journey. I’m glad you brought it up because I’m sure many who are waiting until marriage expect instant “amazing sex.” That’s not always the case! Congrats again!
  13. Relational Comfort and Shaving Habits

    I fully believe in continuing to "date" your spouse. That means continuing to "woo" them even after you already "have them." I'm in a 3 year relationship and we are now very comfortable with each other. I still shave. I may not be as self conscious when I forget as I was when we first started dating. That's because I know a little thing like that won't scare him away. If I completely stopped shaving, would he stay with me? Yes. But I also know that he prefers when I do shave, so to me, that is enough reason for me to continue doing it. Because I love him and I like doing things that make him happy. Yes it is my body, but I know he cares and I want to keep our physical attraction to each other strong. A man can also choose to not romance his wife once he marries her. She may stay with him but will she miss those days? Absolutely. I believe he should continue to pursue her throughout the marriage. We make a commitment to each other in marriage that we won't break, but that doesn't mean we should stop reminding each other of why we made that commitment in the first place. Never stop dating each other!
  14. I thought i'd share this video. I think this woman does a wonderful job of sharing her reasons for waiting in a relevant, friendly way. I hope young women (and men) hear what she has to say and consider the option of waiting. The way she speaks about it is refreshing. Here is the YouTube video. The Truth about waiting to have Sex till Marriage
  15. Long Engagements

    I agree with you completely. The reason we chose such a long engagement was because we have to plan long distance. The wedding is in another state because thats where our families live. It takes time to make plans from such a distance. If this wasn't an issue, We'd have kept the engagement less than a year. At the same time, I wouldn't rush it SO much that it was just because we wanted to have sex as soon as possible. We have the entire rest of our lives for that. While its a super important part of a romantic relationship, this extra time we have now without it allows us to grow closer in other ways.
  16. Long Engagements

    My engagement will have been 16 months (9 to go! wooohoo!). I think of that as a somewhat long engagement. As someone who is waiting, it is very difficult, knowing we are so close, but yet still so far. Some days its harder than others. Looking back, it might have been nice to have a shorter engagement, but I'm trying to just enjoy every moment of this time in our lives. And the first 7 months really haven't taken THAT long.
  17. Dating Site Mistakes

    I met my Fiancé on a dating website (OkCupid). He said he had the same issue as you. Lots of messages and lots of women ignoring them. I think thats just part of the territory. It is true that some women get dozens or even hundreds of messages a day and it becomes impossible to respond to all of them. I'll tell you a bit from my side of the experience. Sometimes, when I would reply to someone just to tell them politely that I wasn't interested, I would get a nasty/rude response back from the guy. That could be one reason that women aren't taking the time to respond. They might be tired of getting nasty replies. If a message from a guy was super short and didn't point out anything specific from my profile to prove that he didn't just copy and paste, sometimes I wouldn't take the time to respond. Make sure to write a few sentences that include specific questions that prove you read her profile. A woman is going to want to know that you're invested in her and not just tossing a line out to every girl quickly. However, I would suggest not to overly complement her on physical characteristics. In the first message, stick with topics related to her hobbies or personality so as to not give off the creepy vibe. Honestly, dating sites are such a hit and miss. There are going to be hundreds of fails for each successful date. My fiancé was on the site for years before me. He was starting to give up as well. Another important thing is how you compose your profile. If you care to copy and paste the summary/info on your profile, we might be able to give some feedback on how to make it more successful. If you have any other questions, let me know! I think dating sites can work and I'd be glad to give more advice. Good luck!
  18. Engagement Ring Stone

    I am very traditional, so to me, an engagement ring should have a diamond. I know that in the past, there have been other engagement gift traditions that the man would give to his fiancé, but in our current time, Diamonds are the typical stone. Some other women like alternatives because they want to be unique. But I love the traditional diamond. I also just love how sparkly they are and the symbolism of their strength. Also, I feel like they "go" with anything. If I had a pink or blue stone, I would always feel that it didn't match with the rest of my attire, lol.
  19. I think you need to sit down with him and discuss this situation. Obviously, in the past, he has had extremely different views about life/relationships/sex. Find out if he still believes those same things or has changed his ways. I mean, does he truly now agree with your decision to wait, or is he just doing it because he "has" to for you? If his values are still so different from your own, I don't think it is a good idea to continue the relationship. This guy is much older than you, and it makes complete sense that you are sad that you won't be able to share firsts with him. I dated someone with a child and I was sad for the same reasons. I broke up with him and found someone (now my fiancé) who everything makes soooo much more sense with. We will get to share those firsts together and he respects and agrees with the morals I brought into the relationship. Just be careful and don't let the fluttery feelings of your relationship cloud the reality of it all.
  20. I actually did date someone breifly who had a daughter. He was never married, but had been with his daughter's mother for quite awhile in his past. That relationship ended badly because of our views on waiting until marriage, not because of his daughter. Looking back now though. I'm glad it didn't work out. I'm now engaged to someone who doesn't have children yet, and I'm so beyond excited to share the joy of a family with him for the first time, for both of us. Had I stayed with my ex, our child would have been his second child and we would never experience the firsts together. Now, I'm 26, if I were older, my opinions might change, because it gets much more difficult to find someone without kids in your 40s and up.
  21. I agree that you shouldn't be trying to change someone, but I think it is healthy to share your beliefs with a potential romantic partner, and they can decide if they feel the urge to change theirs as well. There are many people who have just been brought up in life without the role models to show them this kind of lifestyle and when you share your beliefs with them, their eyes may be opened to a lifestyle they had never considered before, but actually desire deep down.
  22. Sleeping in the Same Bed

    Haha, I know, our boundaries are a little different than some others on this site, but we're managing to sleep in the same bed and not "sleep together." As hard as it may be sometimes. Snoring probably would have been the most difficult for me to deal with, considering I like a quiet room. The reading is a really good idea. We have read in bed before but never as a means to fall asleep. But now thinking back on it, we both did get pretty tired. That might be something to try again. Thanks for the idea!
  23. We had been dating 2.5 years when he proposed and our engagement will be just under 1.5 years. So just about 4 years total of dating. Its a pretty long time, considering we're waiters, but we also aren't rushing into it, which I think is good.
  24. I met my fiancé on OKCupid Its crazy because that was 4 years ago and were just friends for the first year or so. It doesn't feel like we met online anymore.
  25. Luckily, I don't really get any direct criticism for my choice to wait, but you can sure find a lot of it on the internet. The sexual incompatibility argument is silly. If you have good communication with your significant other beforehand and know what you'll be in to, I don't see a problem. That one is so annoying. The argument that I've seen a lot lately that really bothers me is: "Why are we putting so much value on a woman's virginity?" They think its some kind of creepy, unnatural thing. It makes me sad, because, number 1, we're putting value on both a man's and woman's virginity. And number 2, virginity to us isn't just the lack of the physical act, but also the intimate connection. Its something we see value in. I cannot imagine choosing to have that connection with someone who I am not committed to and worrying that I may someday move on and have that connection with someone else. I think we just all really want to have that real, true love with our spouse and feel so connected as each other's one and only. The decision of waiting until marriage is so misunderstood these days. Everyone just wants instant gratification in so many areas of life. The art of patience is completely lost in our wold.