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About miilliee

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    Stargazer lily

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  1. Hi, I haven't posted on here for a while- although I am still dedicated to WTM and everything! But I just felt I needed to find somewhere to vent my feelings; because I really don't know where else to talk about it. So last year i started at university, and I had a really good first year, I felt like I was truly finding out who I was; and it was great just meeting new friends, and starting a new chapter in my life. I was single throughout my first year of uni (sort of always have been still) and although it was hard seeing people couple off any everything, I kind of got over it, and focused on myself. There wasn't anyone that I was particularly interested in anyway, except for this one girl (yes i'm gay, moving on) but nothing happened, all I knew was that she was sort interested in girls too, but I hadn't ever really spoken to her in my first year. I thought she was really cool and everything, but we never got round to talking properly. Anyway, that was a year ago. At the start of this year she found out that I was interested in girls, and then we started messaging each other. The first few weeks of this happening I felt this massive swoop of excitement and anxiety towards her which I never felt for someone before. At first my appetite went, I lost weight, I found it incredibly hard to focus on just about anything, especially my classes.I don't know why my body was reacting in this way like I was suffering from trauma or something; and part of me thinks all of the nerves is because I had never been in this situation before with someone else and it was really exciting. After a while we started seeing each other a lot, and we told each other about the feelings we clearly had for each other and it was really exciting; but then after a few weeks she became really distant, spending a long time to reply to messages and things, and we hadn't met up in a while. When I called her out on why she had been avoiding me she said that she needed time to think about whether she wanted a relationship with me or not, so I gave her time. After a while we met up again, and she said that she didn't want to be with me, because she was too afraid of commitment and of getting hurt; assuming that I would hurt her. I was so confused by this, and now when I look back, all I can think is that she must have had some issue with intimacy and things which she was afraid of confronting. Now, here's my dilemma- It's been six months since I last spoke to her or saw her and I still cant stop thinking about her. What's wrong with me???????????? Most people would have got over this by now, but i'm still feeling hurt and rejected and depressed and I miss her so much, which is weird because we were never even properly in a relationship, and most people would have been over this by now!!! She started messaging me again recently asking how I was and if I wanted to meet up again; and I said yes because I thought it would be good to just meet up and sort out my feelings once and for all; but she still hasn't replied, and she takes so long to reply to anything I message her; which makes me feel more rejected and stupid I just dont know what to do. I've tried to cut her out of my life completely (before she messaged me), but I still couldn't stop thinking about her when I did. I have this aching feeling in my chest when I think about her, which just WONT GO AWAY. I've tried meeting other people, and keep an open mind about them and my feelings, but I just cant seem to be attracted to anyone else. I'm stuck only having these feeling for this stupid girl, who probably doesn't care about me one bit because she never messages me I just don't know what to do; I cant seem to get this feeling to go away; and I desperately want it to, because I just want to get on with my life. Sorry about this massively long post; I doubt anyone will read this too be fair, I just needed somewhere to vent how I felt because I seriously don't know who else I can talk to about this problem without sounding needy.
  2. I have another character, didnt necessarily wtm, but decided NOT to have sex by choice, like sheldon cooper- Sherlock Holmes. Especially Sherlock Holmes from the BBC adaptation, where side comments make it clear hat hes a virgin, and he is very comfortable in that, as he doesnt get together with anyone during the series, even Irene Adler!
  3. Nope, why would I be embarrassed exactly? Its nothing to be ashamed of.
  4. I dont think I would mind if they had past dating experience, but its just the whole issue of whether they were in love with them, and how deeply in love with them they were. Ive heard that a persons first head over heels love can be their strongest love- so i wouldnt want to be like their second strongest or whatever. I think, as long as I know that they love me more than they have ever loved anyone else things would be fine -oh and i dont mean this in the sense of someone i was just going on a date with (obvs) but i mean with a potential partner
  5. Patty Bouvier from The Simpsons.-This ones for all the gay waiters out there (including me) Patty was celibate for a while, I think that was before she realised she was gay, then in one episode (based around gay marriage) she said that her and her fiance were saving EVERYTHING for the wedding night. Anyways it didnt work out and she ended up not getting married, but im assuming shes still a waiter. So yeah, despite her being a horrible character, I kind of relate to her on this level lol And I think a lot of The Simpsons characters-im assuming- waited (e.g. Maude and Ned Flanders), and Homer and Marge were each others firsts (and first kisses!) but they didnt wait until marriage per se.
  6. Thats true, I think its important that people remember who they are, their true identity and what they want in life when they get to university; because sometimes I think people forget that, they try to blend in with the 'norms', but lately i've been questioning what are the 'norms' exactly? Isnt being at university about just wanting to be yourself? mmm, I kind of disagree with this because I dont think everyone thats having a relationship-whether its a puppy love 'short term' one, or long term long distance ones-are having sex, I know a lot of my close friends that, sure are going on romantic flings/casual dates, but not physical flings. Or if they are they're very private about it, who knows? Some of my friends are also in long term relationships and I can tell that they are really serious about their relationships. I think there's just a range of different types of relationship at university/college, its not just hook up cultures.
  7. Thats true. Despite not having the sexual pressure it does seem like everyone here is in a relationship which is a bit isolating :/
  8. Me to, a lot of the time me and my friends just dont talk about it. I mean, theres the subtle comment here and there about it, but noone has properly talked to me about doing the do or anything. Although I have to admit, i am known for being the 'innocent one' on my corridor.
  9. Hi guys! So I just wanted to say that Ive been at University for nearly my whole first term-which is partly why I havent been on wtm.org very much, because ive been so caught up in studying! But going back to what I was first worried about at the start of the topic-I havent had any pressure/stick for wtm, partly because only one person knows that i am, but they're really supportive, and the whole stereotype of 'every students having sex' is a lie I think, because a lot of my friends havent, or arent involved with people at university-and ive got a true mixture of friends! Of course there is pressure to have sex, but ive realised that that pressure is going to be EVERYWHERE. Not just at university, but at schools, at work, everywhere. I mean, sure, ive noticed a lot of students do hook up and stuff, but a lot also DONT. So im not worried anymore. Everyone has different values at university, like in life, and not every student is the same. I havent found anyone else that is wtm, but im sure they do exist, its just that i think its such a private topic that students dont spread that kind of information around, because its personal. So im just saying, for anyone thats going to university/college in the future, dont worry about feeling like your the only wtmer there, because your not, and true friends arent going to judge you for your values. You just have to keep an open mind when you get there. xx
  10. I have about 50 reasons why, but it would take way to long to write up. Basically my reasons FOR wtm outweigh any reasons AGAINST wtm for me. Its definately the right path for me. One reason being, like you, your the least likely to be heartbroken if the person you lost your virginity to left you because, like you said, you do all that you can to be with that person. And even if it wouldnt have worked and we ended up getting divorced, i still wont have regretted waiting, i would be proud of myself for sticking to my personal morals. And I only want to make love with one person.
  11. This question goes out to wtmers that dont go beyond kissing holding hands/ save all sexual contact for marriage, because those that are in the anything but category, well, this question probably doesnt apply lol. But I ask because sometimes i'll see a couple ( not on purpose but because they do it in front of everyone else) touching each others thighs/knees when theyre sat down, and personally if the person i was in a relationship with did that to me i think i would slap their hand away! Another reason why im personally wtm is because im not entirely comfortable with people touching me, as in friends randomly hugging me or holding hands, which i kind of find awkward. Even with relatives im not entirely comfortable hugging. I only feel okay with people im really close to touching me e.g. my mum, or people i really trust; but then again thats only about 3 people. i dont know if this would prove to be a serious issue if im in a relationship or not-but i can just imagine, for me personally things like holding hands in a relationship is a huge huge step for me, let alone kissing! Also i find it weird when people touch my hips and waist, for example if they were just brushing past me; does anyone else feel this way at all? I dont know whether its just me being weird about not liking being touched or whether, in the back of my mind, its me just holding out to be comfortable with only my partner touching me, and i dont like the idea of lots of people touching me in the way that they would. -Is this strange? I know the way im saying touching doesnt mean sexual in any way, but it still seems intimate to me. P.S. Im English. Dont know whether that has anything to do with it at all!
  12. Some really good responses guys! And @mike, this could be another project to start up maybe?
  13. Okay, this is following up my rant about glee, but im challenging you guys to try and find any TV characters that are WTM, or even characters that are virgins or not having sex by choice. I know that we have looked at WTM in film and literature on our projects page, but i was just wondering if there were any particular characters from shows that came to anyones minds as WTM, or not having sex by choice.