ian

Married Waiters
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Everything posted by ian

  1. Regrets?

    I never regret - not one moment - of having waited . And I was lucky i never lost a RELATIONSHIP for having waited... but yes there was a girl or two who was not interested in that whatsoever so yes I "lost out" a few times LOL. True love DOES wait DodgeDude :-)
  2. i am a successful waiter :-)

    I'm happy to write how i waited etc if you guys think it would be good. It's nothing very imaginative! But maybe that's what makes it helpful. I am also trying to gauge where everyone falls on the waiting spectrum here... ie from limited-contact all the way up to everything-but. Everyone has different reactions to this stuff based on where they place themselves on that spectrum...
  3. i am a successful waiter :-)

    Sally: I should admit - in honesty - that while she always respected the choice, and supported it all the way up to The Moment... it was challenging. It is for all of us who did this - no escaping that reality! - but she knew it mattered A Lot and for the right reasons.
  4. i am a successful waiter :-)

    bring it on. yes I remember when/how/reaction. It was a hybrid reaction more than anything else... surprise/respect/wonder (was it really going to last type thing). we had gone out several times... progressed of course... and we had stayed up late one night talking & kissing after a movie one night... there was that wee hours of the night moment of figuring out what was going to happen... and I just fumbled/stumbled/stammered that I didn't want to do all that, I wanted to wait. I didn't initially say it as I wanted to wait til marriage... but she was super respectful, a little surprised, a little wondering whether it was for real. all the expected reactions I guess of someone with whom I was rapidly developing a real relationship with and not just a casual date. I should mention... she also began to eventually join me at church on sundays. another relationship builder obviously, but also an implicit (at the time) recognition that I was for real in my choice and that we might be for real as a couple. business school... and no we ended up in different fields (probably for the best LOL!). I hope this is all ok and what's appropriate here - I'm trying to be very transparent - I don't want to come off as insincere or unnecessarily straight about this... but I figure you ask an honest question and you deserve an honest answer.
  5. i am a successful waiter :-)

    Hi Mike. Too funny.... but here goes (for whatever it's worth!): 1. graduate school. first day. she was the class behind me... so that means 2nd years have scoping rights :-) we didn't go out for maybe a month... didn't really start "dating" for probably another six... 2. I was 24 when we met. I had not lost all hope! but... in fairness to the question... I didn't date a lot my first year of grad school. lot of hanging out with friends, but not a lot of one-on-one time with girls i liked. a few heart stomps along the way as we all experience... so i probably was a tad cautious. no hope lost... but cautious for sure... 3. she was not a waiter... but that obviously changed. we found out as all couples eventually get to either that topic or that how-far-are-we-going point. she was amazingly supportive - understood that not only was I not ready... I wanted to wait... and because we had grown into good friends and then more... she wanted to wait as well. I am not spreading pixie dust on this though - it was definitely a healthy challenge towards the end! but back to the question - no - we did not have issues about it, because she was a grown-up about what I wanted, what she wanted, and over time, what we wanted together as a couple.