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About USArmyNinja

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  1. I'm a Virgin and She Isnt

    Thank you for that insight. That actually helps me quite a bit as I had asked her about this specific thing and she told me she's been over it for a while and it doesn't bother her at all (other than all the problems she has from the people she knows now). If she doesn't even have a mental connection to it then I suppose with time I'll be able to get over it mentally, and by then she won't even remember the guy she was with anyway. That feels quite a bit better.
  2. I'm a Virgin and She Isnt

    Thank you Dasboy and Lengthy, it feels good to get to bring this up to someone else third party. I agree with what you said Dasboy, and I think for me Lengthy, it's more of the jealousy problem so I guess the best thing to do is continue with the relationship and try to push all thoughts of the mistake away from my mind...even if other people (like her family) cant seem to. It's strange how easily it seems she's pushed it all behind her so quickly, (I've asked about that) and am I right in guessing that a girl wouldn't hold the same mental remembrance of "the act" like I do? I do realize we think differently haha.
  3. So, first of all I want to dissuade any attempt to discuss my level of maturity and the broad scope of my relationship decision in general. I've served in the Army and am currently going to college. My girl is working at a private Christian academy and attending it's sort of long distance by a couple of hours, and distractions/other issues aren't really the problem. Well, we met at a Christian camp we both worked at, and sort of rekindled our friendship a few years later, ie recently. We'd been talking for a few months and have finally made it official. Obviously the problem is that I found out she made a mistake a few months before we were talking...the hard part for her being that she has a big role in the church as a worship leader and missions worker and had actually just gotten back form a long missions you can think how the church looks at it. Another couple of important things to start with are that the guy she slept with (twice only) was pretty random and she says it was a period of weakness for her because of other things with her family she's dealt with in the past, not to mention he was suicidal and it sounds like he really goaded her into giving herself away. We are both in our twenties and she lives at home currently while the whole college thing is being completed. My biggest problem is of course my continuing mental anguish over this random guy she has been with and my seeming inability to erase it from my mind. I've told her this and she told me about her mistake the night we discussed a serious communication has been excellent. I've tried praying about this and reading other people's reviews and all I see are horribly negative things about guys who were in my position. Well, I'm looking for some real Christian advice on what I should do to help the situation...I can't stop visualizing all the stuff they must have done and whether she's still thinking about it..etc. etc. I would really like to hear from someone with experience in this situation...or any wisdom at all really, I REALLY like this girl, and we've prayed about our relationship a lot, I don't take things like this lightly and I don't want some stupid thoughts in my head to ruin everything else...oh and I wouldn't' mind details about things like what it was like on that wedding night, or what a non-virgin girl thinks about a relationship she's had with a virgin guy such as myself...Thank you if you got this far.