KaiLi

Modesty

52 posts in this topic

Modesty is a divine Virtue and its really attractive in a women. Well at least for me can't say what other think.

 

Do you want to be Gawked at or do you want love? You can't have both. you got to pick one.

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Girls wear hardly anything for attention plain and simple. If I'm a girl and look and notice then men def. will be looking and most even lusting. I think it's soo funny when some cheerleaders get mad when guys are commenting on how they can see their panty-bloomer things and it's like "Duh it's all in plain sight! How can they not look!" So double standard smh...

 

My fav. style of dressing is like Princess Kate Middleton and Michelle Obama, very classy, lady like, yet pretty and fashionable! Also, as a girl, when I wear more I act more lady like and proper vs wearing less you feel so exposed! I don't know about any other girl but personally wearing less would make me feel more insecure than wearing more. I love being a girl and being treated like a lady♥

3 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I actually saw a girl on a dating site recently who was WTM, but she looked like a prostitute in all of her pictures. What a mix of signals! Not for me I'm afraid.

 

Totally right! It does send mixed messages!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Honestly I dont believe in dressing modestly I believe in dressing classy. Someone earlier said its the same thing but for me its not, from what I see in this thread modesty means covering up completely and fitted clothes or showing skin is "sleazy". If you want to dress modestly thats great! but I dont. When I get dressed I dont sit and think of what men(or people) would think of me...I dress for me, I Iove fashion and I know how to keep it classy. I hate jeans theyre uncomfortable to me; I like wearing shorts, skirts and dresses thats pretty much all I wear. Also I dont think the way someone dresses dictates who they are and I think its judgmental to say that.

I think body type plays a very important role when it comes to how one should dress, smaller girls can get away with alot more vs the more curvy girls...a woman with certain boobage cant wear certain tops vs a woman with a smaller chest area. Personally as a skinny girl I wouldnt wear extra layers of clothing because its just not flattering on my figure, but a woman with more curves can wear that and look beautiful. Im guilty of wearing backless tops, belly shirts and off shoulder tops too and I love it...I just cant get on the modesty train with ya'll I love fashion too much :wub:

http://pinterest.com/pin/374784000210497462/

http://pinterest.com/pin/116952921545790047/

http://pinterest.com/pin/169588742190745404/

http://pinterest.com/pin/4011087140558229/

4 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This reminds me of a saying I once heard:

 

"The only thing women hate more than being objectified, is not being objectified."

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Do you want to be Gawked at or do you want love? You can't have both. you got to pick one.

 

If I'm in love with a girl, she better be prepared to get gawked at, no matter what she's wearing or not wearing  :lol: 

6 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

1.) Yes I do appreciate it. Provacative or scandalous clothing is distracting and unattractive. "Sure you may look sexy Ms., but after getting over the fact that I just noticed your body I realized that I find your inner self to be very unattractive because of how you present yourself on the outside."

2.) Honestly I would first notice the immodest one. The eyes just wonder before I'm able to think "wait, stop, I'm lusting." Then I'd notice the modest Woman. Sorry if this sounds creepy Ladies but if she is dressed modestly I would have trouble keeping my eyes off of her and they would not linger at her "assets", rather her face. She's the one I'd call Beautiful.

Ladies please dress modestly. I'm watching CNN right now and the anchor looks amazing. She has on this black outfit. It's very modest, very beautiful. If she was wearing something that is exposing then I'd be distracted from her true beauty. The same goes to you. This isn't a demand or some sort of mandate. Just a guy asking if you could do us waiting guys a favor.

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If I'm in love with a girl, she better be prepared to get gawked at, no matter what she's wearing or not wearing  :lol: 

You have NO IDEA how happy your comment makes me.  I can't possibly be the only girl in the world who wants to be loved AND gawked at, haha.  Who says you can't have your cake and eat it too? :P

4 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Honestly I dont believe in dressing modestly I believe in dressing classy. Someone earlier said its the same thing but for me its not, from what I see in this thread modesty means covering up completely and fitted clothes or showing skin is "sleazy". If you want to dress modestly thats great! but I dont. When I get dressed I dont sit and think of what men(or people) would think of me...I dress for me, I Iove fashion and I know how to keep it classy. I hate jeans theyre uncomfortable to me; I like wearing shorts, skirts and dresses thats pretty much all I wear. Also I dont think the way someone dresses dictates who they are and I think its judgmental to say that.

I think body type plays a very important role when it comes to how one should dress, smaller girls can get away with alot more vs the more curvy girls...a woman with certain boobage cant wear certain tops vs a woman with a smaller chest area. Personally as a skinny girl I wouldnt wear extra layers of clothing because its just not flattering on my figure, but a woman with more curves can wear that and look beautiful. Im guilty of wearing backless tops, belly shirts and off shoulder tops too and I love it...I just cant get on the modesty train with ya'll I love fashion too much :wub:

http://pinterest.com/pin/374784000210497462/

http://pinterest.com/pin/116952921545790047/

http://pinterest.com/pin/169588742190745404/

http://pinterest.com/pin/4011087140558229/

 

Not sure how I missed your post when I made my own post yesterday, but I agree with everything you just said. EVERYTHING!

 

(Also, all of the clothes in the links you posted are super cute! I would absolutely wear them too B) )

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I always dress modestly, and I think modesty is a beautiful thing. I do think it's inappropriate when someones certain areas are visible due to revealing clothing, but short dresses or shorts and other items of clothing are not that bad. I think people should dress how ever they want to, they're doing it for themselves after all. I dress the way that makes me feel happy/comfortable, I dress modestly.  As long as they are respectful to others around them (as long as they're not flashing people), they should wear what they want to wear. Since I dress modestly, I obviously love it, but that doesn't mean everyone else does too. That's why we all have different taste in fashion.

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

hmmmm its hard lol where i am from country girls where these little shorts and skimy o shirts and its like dang girl, i know everythign, and i dont really want it, but at the same time it draws my attention. I prefer if a women dresses more modestly, not overly just no completely low cut or shorty shorts, i like a suprise you know, its like a present on christmas you dont want to unwrao it if you know exactly its shap and everytig by the wrappin, but you get even more excited when its not showing and hidden, not completely but you still dont know all. so hmmm i think at first i look the way at the skimier outfit, but then i will dwell on the one who is modest.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

guys do get attracted girls with skimpy outfits, but i personally don't appreciate such dressing.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Your friends are just naive to the way how guy's brains are wired. We are visually stimulated creatures and when a girl shows a decent amount of skin, our eyes are drawn to it and our minds wander. That's just how we are. I feel like it's easy for us guys to look at a girl who dresses provocatively and label her as easy or a slut but I sometimes I don't think that's the case. I think often times, girls just don't understand how our brains work.

Okay this just blows my mind. I'm sorry, but this line of thinking is so high school. Your friend is complaining when guys stare when she is dresses in a revealing way, but she then complains if she doesn't dress that way, no one will notice her? She can't have it both ways. Honestly, I feel sorry girls who think that the only way to get a guy's attention is to flaunt their bodies. If you put out your body for all to see, then the kind of guys who will be drawn to that will only see you for your body.

But to answer your questions, yes I highly value modesty in women. To me, it shows that says she's comfortable with who she is and knows her modesty will attract the right kind of guys. A girl who dresses revealingly may catch my attention at first, but it's the modest girl who I will catch my interest :)

 

 

I'm a girl and I also stare when a fellow girl is dressed revealingly.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

guys do get attracted girls with skimpy outfits, but i personally don't appreciate such dressing.

Yes but that's just because I wonder why they are wearing such clothing

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You can be sexy while being modest and that is what turns me on the most.

 

I mean look at Lauren Bacall. She would wear a lot of clothes yet she was sooooo sexy. 10000 times more than Megan Fox or Kim Kardashian.

 

The girls I get interested in usually are modestly dressed. Even when they where shorts, they wear them modestly and not like bimbos.

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I mean look at Lauren Bacall. She would wear a lot of clothes yet she was sooooo sexy. 10000 times more than Megan Fox or Kim Kardashian.

 

Ooh, Lauren Bacall reference!

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I would say Kate Upton and Emily Blunt are quite sexy and modest however I disagree with Megan fox not being sexy. She is a great ambassador for good causes and very modestly dressed most of the time. 

You can be sexy while being modest and that is what turns me on the most.

 

I mean look at Lauren Bacall. She would wear a lot of clothes yet she was sooooo sexy. 10000 times more than Megan Fox or Kim Kardashian.

 

The girls I get interested in usually are modestly dressed. Even when they where shorts, they wear them modestly and not like bimbos.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If I'm in love with a girl, she better be prepared to get gawked at, no matter what she's wearing or not wearing  :lol: 

 

OMG! Now I know why my husband stares at me so much!! haha lol

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yeah see I still get self-conscious about wearing shorts in public hahaha. I usually dress in skintight clothing (like I totally have catwomanlike pleather pants hahaha) for the most part unless its a band shirt or something but still try to be stylish without showing a lot of skin. Like take Halloween for instance. Every girl wears raunchy stuff, but I try to find something fashionable/sassy that doesn't show off too much chest/leg or looks like a grandma outfit. I take it as a challenge. Not only that but it's downright dangerous to dress raunchy. Like take warped tour for instance... (and anyone else who's gone knows what's up) I saw a girl wearing a straight up bra and bikini underwear with a belt and boots. That was it. Like Im sorry but you're just ASKING to get raped or have guys groping you or pants you or undo your bra in the crowd. It's downright dangerous after a point and especially when alcohol is involved on your end or the people around you! But yeah I know this is ask the guys but there's some female input for you :)

But yeah I used to have my clubbing days but I got rid of all my show off chest shirts a few years back because I figured that's probably not what God wants me to be wearing so yeah.

On the other hand related to your clubbing/partying question though...I remember me and my friends would try to dress skanky enough when we would go out because they're right EVERYONE when you go out is dressed ultra skanky and if youre not dressed up nobody looks twice. But yeah one time we were getting this group of guys to notice us dancing and they were checking us out and smiling at us and vice versa maybe even talking to us a little? But yeah anyway, this group of even skankier girls walks in and of course snatches them up and we were so annoyed!!!! We're like those chicks are jerks!! Hahaha..

But yeah basically if you're in a place where you feel like you have to dress like that you probably shouldn't be going or expecting to find a quality man there because those are the kind of guys you don't want attention from ;)

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This is a topic I was talking about with another woman friend of mine. I grew up in a church where dressing modestly was taught & I chose to dress modestly growing up. When I transitioned into a spiritual way of living, except I also transitioned out of the religion of the religion I had grown up in-(not the subject of this topic, so not wanting to get into explaining all of that here now), I decided to let myself try dressing not as rigidly modest.

 

It felt kind of freeing to not dress as rigidly modest as I had for so long-looking back, I have become aware that sometimes when I would dress super modest it would make me feel like an asexual being-which I never have been, nor am I now. Although I am waiting until I am married to experience intercourse myself, I still feel & am a sexual being. I am still figuring out how modest I want to dress now. I want to dress how it is comfortable for me. I do not want each outfit to be picked out for me to wear for the sole reason that I may be judged &/or have lustful thoughts thought about me by others.

 

I live on Kauai. There is also the saying that what you wear sends messages about yourself. I have so far made up my own boundaries of what I will not wear now, because I feel it is too sexy for how I want to appear to the world. It's astounding that some of the resident men who've grown up on this island & have seen countless women in bikinis still be so excited to see more women in bathing suits! I only dress for myself & do not dress for or against men. I am very cautious & don't put myself in isolated places where I might be vulnerable to less than honorable men, no matter what I am wearing.

 

Interestingly, a male friend I had when I was 20 let me know a lot of men were looking at me lustfully and I was very angry at becoming aware of this, as I was still dressing very modestly at that time; for I was angry that they were lusting after me at all, & especially angry that they were lusting after me after I had made the effort & choice to dress very modestly.

 

I used to force myself to "be polite" and if a guy started to talk to me even though I was getting the creepy vibes from him, I'd "be polite" & respond by talking back to him...now I don't waste my time and if I sense that creepy vibe, I don't even say anything in response. I just ignore them & keep walking. I do believe my body is sacred & that's one of the reasons I am waiting until I am married to have intercourse. My priority is to be a balanced person and as far as what I wear I am still deciding what feels right & healthy for myself.

 

For all the males who do treat all of us women with respect, I greatly appreciate all of you! For any & all men who don't judge in a condescending way towards women for what they choose to wear I really appreciate all of you! For all the men who love & respect women enough to put in effort to work on their thinking instead of just giving into lustful thinking, I really appreciate all of you!

 

I am really glad to hear & know the thoughts of many of the men who spoke on this topic of modesty & talked about how they appreciate females who make the effort & choose to dress modestly and spoke about how it made it easier on them to stick to their goal of keeping their thoughts in line. I appreciate knowing that modestly dressed women is a preference for so many of the males who spoke on this thread. Because of the men who spoke on appreciating women who dress more modestly & said it made it easier for them to keep their thoughts in line, I have chosen to try dressing a bit more modestly.

 

Mahalo to all the men who respect us women!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This is a topic I was talking about with another woman friend of mine. I grew up in a church where dressing modestly was taught & I chose to dress modestly growing up. When I transitioned into a spiritual way of living, except I also transitioned out of the religion of the religion I had grown up in-(not the subject of this topic, so not wanting to get into explaining all of that here now), I decided to let myself try dressing not as rigidly modest.

 

It felt kind of freeing to not dress as rigidly modest as I had for so long-looking back, I have become aware that sometimes when I would dress super modest it would make me feel like an asexual being-which I never have been, nor am I now. Although I am waiting until I am married to experience intercourse myself, I still feel & am a sexual being. I am still figuring out how modest I want to dress now. I want to dress how it is comfortable for me. I do not want each outfit to be picked out for me to wear for the sole reason that I may be judged &/or have lustful thoughts thought about me by others.

 

I live on Kauai. There is also the saying that what you wear sends messages about yourself. I have so far made up my own boundaries of what I will not wear now, because I feel it is too sexy for how I want to appear to the world. It's astounding that some of the resident men who've grown up on this island & have seen countless women in bikinis still be so excited to see more women in bathing suits! I only dress for myself & do not dress for or against men. I am very cautious & don't put myself in isolated places where I might be vulnerable to less than honorable men, no matter what I am wearing.

 

Interestingly, a male friend I had when I was 20 let me know a lot of men were looking at me lustfully and I was very angry at becoming aware of this, as I was still dressing very modestly at that time; for I was angry that they were lusting after me at all, & especially angry that they were lusting after me after I had made the effort & choice to dress very modestly.

 

I used to force myself to "be polite" and if a guy started to talk to me even though I was getting the creepy vibes from him, I'd "be polite" & respond by talking back to him...now I don't waste my time and if I sense that creepy vibe, I don't even say anything in response. I just ignore them & keep walking. I do believe my body is sacred & that's one of the reasons I am waiting until I am married to have intercourse. My priority is to be a balanced person and as far as what I wear I am still deciding what feels right & healthy for myself.

 

For all the males who do treat all of us women with respect, I greatly appreciate all of you! For any & all men who don't judge in a condescending way towards women for what they choose to wear I really appreciate all of you! For all the men who love & respect women enough to put in effort to work on their thinking instead of just giving into lustful thinking, I really appreciate all of you!

 

I am really glad to hear & know the thoughts of many of the men who spoke on this topic of modesty & talked about how they appreciate females who make the effort & choose to dress modestly and spoke about how it made it easier on them to stick to their goal of keeping their thoughts in line. I appreciate knowing that modestly dressed women is a preference for so many of the males who spoke on this thread. Because of the men who spoke on appreciating women who dress more modestly & said it made it easier for them to keep their thoughts in line, I have chosen to try dressing a bit more modestly.

 

Mahalo to all the men who respect us women!

 

Please use paragraph formatting.

 

Thanks!

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am new to this forum, although I did decide to go back and edit my post a bit ago to paragraph formatting.  It took a lot of time to get my thoughts down- and I am very detailed when I write usually (LOL)!  It was also a bit difficult to type that post on my iphone.

 

Thanks for the awareness that perhaps it was a bit difficult to read without the paragraph formatting. 

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I agree with what everyone has said here. One side note, I think this applies to men dressing modestly as well. If I see a man in pants around his knees or a revealing shirt I'm not into it. A man with a nice outfit (particularly if it involves suspenders and/or a bow tie) however, and I'm done lol

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I prefer girls who dress cute and ladylike to girls who try and be all sexual. Like, a little cleavage and makeup is fine, but I have friends who dress like frickin pornstars :/ I have one really nice friend who is a girl and she looks sexy as hell but she never shows cleavage or anything sexual really :) she just got good taste in clothes :D and uses a hint of makeup.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now