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LonelyKnight

26 male "super-virgin" still waiting

18 posts in this topic

Hi.

So, I'm a lot of things.

I work two jobs (at a hospital and a church) and go to school. (I already have a business degree.)

I'm a part-time writer and full-time thinker.

If I told you who I was, you could find my trail online thanks to some generous opportunities the Lord has given me.

I've been waiting for my future bride my entire life. I am gravely concerned about the inability to find many virtuous Christian women. I'm told I should release myself from the standard of finding a girl who has never had sex, because most I can find are people who are recycled virgins. But it is torturous to contemplate marrying a woman and sharing the rest of my life with her and giving her everything I am when she did not wait for me. To know another man "got there first" and she let him is....a problem.

Oh, and I also write letters to my future bride. I call her Luthien.

Letters to Luthien

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Hey LonelyKnight, welcome to the boards :). I'm 26 also, and waiting so you are not alone. This is a good group of people who will support you in your decision to wait. I hope you find the encouragement and support you deserve on here.

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I've been waiting for my future bride my entire life. I am gravely concerned about the inability to find many virtuous Christian women. I'm told I should release myself from the standard of finding a girl who has never had sex, because most I can find are people who are recycled virgins. But it is torturous to contemplate marrying a woman and sharing the rest of my life with her and giving her everything I am when she did not wait for me. To know another man "got there first" and she let him is....a problem.

This is a concern for lots of waiters, as jealousy and disappointment and insecurity usually comes with knowing that they didn't "wait" for you. Jennifer, a married waiter on this forum, wrote an article on how she dealt with those feelings: http://waitingtillmarriage.org/how-i-got-over-my-fiances-past-2/

But of course, in the end, it is your decision what to look for in a woman. Welcome to the forums!

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welcome lonely knight. i know this community will rally around with you, as it already has. I'm a successful waiter - I was a virgin when I got married at 26. (i'm in my forties these days).

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Hi, Lonley Knight, welcome! :)

Im new here too. But I wanted to say, like ian, I am/was a successful waiter. Waiters are out there. Its rare these days but it exists. I was 23 when I got married. I married a non-virgin. It is a very hard thing to accept at times but it can be done. I do, however, believe that if you think you will have issues accepting a partner that has not waited, that you should try your best to be patient and wait for a virgin. I say this because unless you can give 100% forgiveness to your partner for a past that they cannot change, you will be miserable and always feel like you have given your partner a gift that they have not given you and that will not make for a happy marriage.

Happy Waiting :) and again, Welcome!

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welcome to the forums lonelyknight. May you find the encouragement and support that you need here.

holdingtohope

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Oh Luthien....that is so sweet! The ultimate tolkien romance!! Some girl will be lucky to be your Luthien someday...you're right to hold out for her!

Welcome to the boards....i like you already!!!!

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LK I read your letters and OMG! Your future bride is just gonna be head over heels. Do you mind if I share with my writing group. I know they would just love them.

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Please feel more than free to share. Perhaps they will help some other Luthiens out there hang on, and I hope there are Berens out there to find them.

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Welcome to the forum! Happythoughts is right. If you can't stand the idea of marrying a non-virgin, don't do it and find someone who is a virgin. They do exist and you'll be glad when you find her!

Hi, Lonley Knight, welcome! :)

Im new here too. But I wanted to say, like ian, I am/was a successful waiter. Waiters are out there. Its rare these days but it exists. I was 23 when I got married. I married a non-virgin. It is a very hard thing to accept at times but it can be done. I do, however, believe that if you think you will have issues accepting a partner that has not waited, that you should try your best to be patient and wait for a virgin. I say this because unless you can give 100% forgiveness to your partner for a past that they cannot change, you will be miserable and always feel like you have given your partner a gift that they have not given you and that will not make for a happy marriage.

Happy Waiting :) and again, Welcome!

Welcome! You're the second married person here to join (there's another poster who is married, but she joined first).

You're right and I appreciate your insight.

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Welcome LK! I enjoyed talking with you last night and you are a great guy who deserves everything you are looking for. You know what you want and follow your heart and never settle. It may take a year, or two but it will be worth it in the end.

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LonelyKnight! *ahem* Where can I find a guy like you??? Omg I completely understand where you are coming from! Welcome to the forums and look foward to learning more about you!

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Welcome, LK! You're not alone, I'm 26 as well. Those are some really gorgeous, powerful letters... There is a lucky lady somewhere out there who is going to be absolutely speechless (in a good way :) ) when she receives them! Welcome to the site, and I wish you all the best.

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I'm sure it sounds like self-flattery and vainglory, but I have often wished I could find a lot of guys like me to introduce to the young ladies I know who are friends but not necessarily people I want to marry. I think those of us on the V-cart (and those in Christ) should look out for each other and maybe try to introduce each other to people. But I earnestly know of so few guys worth introducing to my lady friends.

As for me, I'm not exactly attached right now either. One young lady of interest is hitting rocky shoals already, and another didn't WTM and this hurts pretty hard right now. :(

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