Yokimono

Picky female problem!!:(

9 posts in this topic

Okay so here's the thing not trying to brag or anything but I've had plenty of chances to be in a relationship only problem is that those guys are not willing to wait until marraige or I'm just not attracted to the ones that are pathetic right?? To top it off I never had a boyfriend or even kissed a boy and I'm losing hope I won't give in but it just seems like I'm waiting around for nothing will the guy of my dreams ever come or is that only in fairy tales lol....I guess patience is my main problem here but I have this ''what if'' attitude

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Hi, well it seems like you've hit that point were you wana find someone but you cant seem to find someone. Wether there losers who dont want to wait or you just cant click with them. My advice to you would be yes that guy of your dream will eventually show up, but he will show up when the time is right not when you need it. If we got everything we wanted in life well there would be no point to it when you think about it. Whenever you want something to work out it always seems to take longer than you want or it just doesnt work out.

So just continue to wait, your time will come :D

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@Cesar thanks your right we can't have everything when we want it I guess I just need to focus on being a woman of God an when the time is right it will come!!!

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you might also want to examine how you bring up your sexual status to potential partners. while bluntness can be a good thing, to just come out and say "i'm waiting for marriage to have sex" to the average young guy, who thinks about sex 1000% more than he thinks about his romantic ideals, would probably turn him right off. if you got close to him, established a friendship..and soon after had an intimate conversation explaining your views in-depth, you'd have a better chance of convincing someone to accept and even embrace the idea of waiting.

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I guess I just need to focus on being a woman of God an when the time is right it will come!!!

That's a great way to think about it!! And it could definitely be applied to guys as well!

you might also want to examine how you bring up your sexual status to potential partners. while bluntness can be a good thing, to just come out and say "i'm waiting for marriage to have sex" to the average young guy, who thinks about sex 1000% more than he thinks about his romantic ideals, would probably turn him right off. if you got close to him, established a friendship..and soon after had an intimate conversation explaining your views in-depth, you'd have a better chance of convincing someone to accept and even embrace the idea of waiting.

This. This is exactly why I don't think you should bring up waiting on the first date...or probly even second date....although obviously there are exceptions depending on the circumstances. But I think letting a guy (or girl in the opposing situation, it goes both ways) get to know you a little bit first and if you develop a connection with him (even if its just after one or two dates) it will help your chances. I mean I think for some guys (obviously not me :P ) coming out right off the bat about how adamant a waiter you are may be a turn off, idk. I mean you could say well then that weeds out the bad guys but don't be so sure...we're all human and we all make assumptions and inferences about people every day whether we realize it or not. And I also think there's the presumption factor...i.e. "It's our first date and I know you're gonna want to have sex with me but I just want you to know I'm waiting til marriage." That may not be how you say it and it may not be your intention but that's how it may sound to him (or her). I just think that discussion is better suited for when you know the person a little better (aka when it's not as awkward!). I don't feel like that is stringing anyone along either. I wouldn't wait 6 months to tell him in your case but nothing wrong with waiting til you see some potential...thats not unfair to either of you.

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Thanks everyone for all your wonderful advice .....never been on a date but I wear a purity ring and most guys ask so I let them know up front what it represents it's not like I tell them right away lol but they take notice and that's how they find out which I'm not ashamed but I also don't go around with a sign that says "Virgin till marraige".....I would love friendship relationship love and marraige in that order I know temptation is hard and so is lust that's why I have to make sure I set rules that I can follow and also a potential spouse ;)

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I would be friends with a guy first so you can get an idea of what his values and beliefs. That way, you can save yourself the trouble and potentially awkward conversations about WTM.

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I would be friends with a guy first so you can get an idea of what his values and beliefs. That way, you can save yourself the trouble and potentially awkward conversations about WTM.

True, or even if you just know him through a friend or something and go on a few dates, you can get a better idea of what kind of guy he is. You also want to see how he is around other people too. (To see if heactually matches up to what he's telling you)

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