jj0112

Should I pursue religious people necessarily to find someone WTM, even if I am not?

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I would say I am not religious per say. I have had mixture of some religions in my life.

I was born in an atheist family, I went to a Presbyterian Church with my cousin when I was young and I wasn't that religious, I went to a Catholic high school, I went to Presbyterian Church for 2 years right before university, and stopped going to Church after university. I think there's God that exist, but I cannot fully identify my religiosity with some of the Christian rituals, although I must say the closest I can identify with is Christianity. And then recently I was exposed to somewhat Buddist values (self-love, meditation, yoga - Not really into Buddha though :-P)

So given my situation, and that I am waiting until marriage, it seems that the only potential someone that I can look into in terms of the type of person with the same values as mine, is to find someone religious that is more likely to WTM. I don't know just yet if there's gonna be guys out there who are waiting for marriage when they are not necessarily obligated with religiousity.

So I wanna know what you guys think in terms of that. Should I look more for guys that are religious, just because they will be more likely to wait, or should I not give up on hope that there's still guys out there waiting and not having religiousity affiliated?

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There are atheists and non-religious people who are waiting till marriage. In fact, we have several members here on this forum who fall in that category. Above all else, I'd encourage you to never compromise your values. It's better to be single than to compromise your values just to be in a relationship.

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Above all else, I'd encourage you to never compromise your values. It's better to be single than to compromise your values just to be in a relationship.

And if you were in a relationship with someone who was strongly religious, then it's more likely that there'd be issues and disagreements if you didn't share their views on certain issues. That's not to say that you wouldn't be able to sort them out, but it'd be more complicated.

Like, for instance, if (like me) the guy you were with was a devout Catholic. Then you'd need to be on the same page when it came to issues like contraception, life issues, divorce, et cetera - you know, non-negotiable stuff. And then, if you did get married, you'd also need to agree to bring up your kids in the Catholic faith. Which, if you don't share those same beliefs, might be a problem.

So...It wouldn't be impossible,but it's a much better idea to try and find someone who shares your beliefs. Like envinceval said, there's a lot of people who wait for non-religious reasons. Best to try and find one of those!

(Unless, you know, you wanted to become a Catholic...You know, since we're awesome... :lol: )

xxx

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While wanting to find someone who is WTM is something that is important to you, it is also important to find someone with similar beliefs and/or values because of you know that you have completely different beliefs on the religious side of things than the other person it can cause a lot of conflict.

There are people with many different beliefs on this web-site, so while it may seem to you that you have to search in the Christian realm to find someone that is WTM, that isn't the case. People wait for a variety of reasons---some of which have nothing to do with their faith..

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Religious people are more likely to wait until marriage than non-religious people. However:

(1) Church is no silver bullet. Plenty of religious people fornicate all the time, and finding a waiter can actually be quite hard if you're looking in the wrong places (specifically, places where fornication isn't really condemned).

(2) There are non-religious waiters out there (although I'm sure some of them go to church too).

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JJ it sounds more like you are non-denominational than non-relegious. Lot of people out there that do not care for the denominational specific rituals but consider themselves religious.

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I'm a Christian. But, I find it's not hard to find other Christians. I find it hard to find other waiters. So, I'd be cool with dating a non-religious waiter, just as long as they respected my Christian beliefs.

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JJ0012,

Like others have said before, you may have other arguments and disagreements on religion. I think it would be important to make sure he (whoever your future bf is) understands that you're serious about being a waiter. There are guys out there who try to break girls convictions. I know of a guy who was bragging about how he got his gf to sleep with him. Watch for that. Make sure you see a guy in a group and not just one on one. There are guys who may not wait themselves but will while with you.

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You should look for late bloomers. Those that stayed with their friends when they were 16-18 and didn't chase girls. Most of my highschool friends were actually like this.

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You should look for late bloomers. Those that stayed with their friends when they were 16-18 and didn't chase girls. Most of my highschool friends were actually like this.

This is actually exactly how I was lol; didn't date at all until I was in college. Alot of the guys I knew in HS who were always chasing girls and looking to 'get some'....are now in their mid-twenties chasing girls and looking to 'get some'...I guess habits are hard to break :blink:

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You should look for late bloomers. Those that stayed with their friends when they were 16-18 and didn't chase girls. Most of my highschool friends were actually like this.

That's how I was in high school too! I started dating a guy spring of our senior year. I wasnt looking for a relationship though; it just hapoened.

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Okay, I'm presbyterian to... And I don't agree, necessarily, w. some of their rituals either. But, I love Jesus and just keep the peace. Anyways, it's easier to find christian waiters.. But, really finding one anywhere that you want to spend the rest of your life w. is..well, hard. So, while from a purely opinion place i'd Reccomend you go hang out in a covenant church y.a group or something. Covenant church's are generally mega churches (more guys- higher population of waiters simply by the law of #s) who are very consumer friendly (I.e- very limited rituals.) anyways, don't just settle on being w. some guy b.c he happens to be a waiter- agree on the fundamentals, and be sure he's somebody you care enough about to compromise on togethor on the other stuff...

Also, any non denominational mega church would have the same law of numbers.

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You're going to have better luck in the midst of Christian guys. Even though I'm a Christian, I've never considered myself religious. That is, I don't follow a pattern of rituals, don't knock people over the head with my Bible, and don't have an assigned seat at my local church. If you watch closely, a guy's behavior should reveal his character, his inner strength, his convictions.

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