on the fence

What if you found....

32 posts in this topic

Alright. Perhaps I confused you by using those terms interchangeably. But in any case I referred to feelings for an ex, which was the subject of the OP. And I consider keeping items (like love letters) that express feelings for another person to constitute emotional cheating. If I were married, and my wife found a love letter between me and another woman, she'd have an equal right to be upset.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I totally agree, love letters from an ex are a step too far because like you say that expresses feeling. I would be upset if I found a love letter from an ex of my husband. Although it would depend on the circumstances like if it were in a dusty corner of a room and he genuinely forgot he had it then I would be okay with that (as long as it was then promptly thrown away). But items like photos in a photo album or say a pair of socks or a jumper she gave him wouldnt really bother me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think keeping photos is harmless, as long as you tuck them away somewhere. Same goes for tickets from movies, playbills, clothes, etc. But I doubt I would keep jewelry - I think I'd donate it to a charity for underprivileged women. There is something very personal about jewelry. Not that I wear much, so why would a guy get me any? lol. But really, I don't think I'd keep anything from an ex. Memories are enough for me. If I was to move on, memories would be a big enough reminder of our past together. I don't need physical things to remember.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'll admit that although I've never had a girlfriend, I do keep a lock box of relics and letters from my more serious attempted relationships. It is more or less a box full of pain from my past, and it almost never gets opened unless something new is going inside it. Nothing ever has come out. I do this because I don't want to forget these stepping stones, of the life lessons I learned from all these girls and from myself.

If I found a similar box that my girlfriend had, I would have to assume the same thing. Unless the material was very recent or if she had dedicated some little shrine to a past boyfriend, I wouldn't even mention in unless she brought it up in conversation. Some things are better left unsaid.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Its about love and respect, I would never keep anything like that, out of respect for the person I'm with. When you fall in love, those feelings should superseed those that came before. You can make up alot of excuses for keeping your trinkets, but the bottom line is that any man that truly adores you, and loves you with everything he has, will not like having to see you or think about you with somebody else. I understand what the world has turned into...but the soul and heart are still primitive things. Alot of girls want the mythical guy that is very passionate, but passion manifests into many things, not just love, if you are looking for somebody that is ready to die for you, dont get mad when he gets jealous over you. Usually passionate people are the most jealous. But ill be honest, most people these days dont care...But there are some that still do. You can't erase the past, but you can create a future so good, that you no longer need to reflect on it. Deep love makes people crazy, I can understand why most people wouldn't put up with feelings that strong, but for those that know....its the best kind of love...The magical kind. For those of you who love deeply, understand that your the last of an age that will never come back. Don't let the modern age tell you your crazy.

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

There are things that I would like to keep, ot because of the meotional attachment but because I like them (items) very much. For example, a beautiful painting that I received and I think I will always keep it even though I have no idea where the giver went to! lol. \

PS: Ian, you have a great and interesting way to explain your POV. i enjoy reading your posts.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now