Invincible

Female input is needed.

8 posts in this topic

So today I went to church with a friend of mine. After the service was over, we ran into this girl he was really interested in. They had hung out a few times one on one and my friend has been trying to take things a little slow at first just to get to know her before he decides whether he wants to be more with her or not. He told me they haven't spoke for a couple weeks because she was really busy so he decided to give her space. But last Friday, she called him out of the blue and wanted to hang out. She left a message saying her life is pretty hectic but was able to squeeze him into her schedule to play tennis or something like that. He said he didn't like the idea of her feeling like she had to strain herself just to fit him into her schedule. But I disagreed and saw it as a good sign. If I had a hectic schedule, I would spend what little free time I had with those who I really wanted to be with or with people I was close with. So I think he should take it as a compliment because she felt he was at least important enough in her life to make time for.

See, this is a classic case of us guys over analyzing everything. So ladies, who's right here?

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So i can only give my opinion not all girls are the same, but i totally agree with you. She wouldn't have rung to make a time to hang out if she didn't enjoy his company, even though they hadn't spoken in a little while because she was busy, he must have been on her mind for her to decide to call him and organize the time. I'd say she didn't even think about how she said it "fitting him into her schedule" she's probably just been so busy lately her best way of working through all that busyness is going by a schedule. I'd say its a good sign :)

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I don't know, I'm torn on this one. I agree that her ringing to specifically spend time with him is a good thing.

However if I really liked a guy I wouldnt just be "fitting him into my schedule". I'd move mountains to ensure I had time to spend with him. Or if I was crazy busy I dont think sending a few texts to keep in contact would be too hard to manage. It would worry me that there was no contact at all for a couple of weeks. If a girl likes a guy I dont think she would be that cool. But then maybe if he backed off to give her space maybe she picked it up that he had lost interest so she decided to play it cool. It's very hard to analyse this one. I think maybe your friend should maybe subtly let her know he is interested if he wants to know whether the feeling is mutual.

Wires can be crossed so easily in the flirting stage that it can be hard to know why people say and do certain things and to figure out where they are coming from without directly asking them.

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well its true spending when u can will help but if she's that busy eventually little time would turn into no time and they relationship would fizzle fast

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Wires can be crossed so easily in the flirting stage that it can be hard to know why people say and do certain things and to figure out where they are coming from without directly asking them.

Agreed. I think the best thing is to just be direct...especially if they've hung out a few times. No games, no cat and mouse, etc. Maybe be a little forward and see what happens...if she really does like him and want to keep seeing him she'll probly like that; if not, she won't, and then he'll know a bit better where she stands.

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Chances are she was trying to say she wants to hang out, make an exuse for having not talked in a while, and make sure that he knows there is a chance that something important will come up where she will have to cancel. I wouldn't worry too much about it.

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I didn't help at all did i! haha

Women are complicated beings, everything is said with actions and it's up to the men to discover what the actions mean.

That is an understatement if I ever heard one. haha! You certainly helped a lot. You made me realize it was foolish of me as a guy to even attempt to try to figure out women :)

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Lol! Here ya go: her fitting him means something. She at least thinks of him as a friends she wants to spend time with. Whenever people use the excuse "I'm too busy" you can see whats really important by what they "squeeze in" be it certain people or activities, etc. Now for the more than friend part--if tennis is fun/goes well, he should ask her to hang out....one on one. That will help :)

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