Invincible

How do you feel about being called "hot?"

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I consider every girl in this forum to be classy. Any girl who WTM is likely one who demands a certain kind of respect that is absent in girls who flaunt their bodies for attention. I'm sure all of you want a guy who wants what's in your heart first before what's in your shirt.

That leads me to my question: Do you think being described as "hot" is objectifying? To me, "hot" is a word guys use to comment how great a girl's body is as if she's some piece of meat. I personally prefer the term "beautiful" because it doesn't have sexual connotations to it but instead an all encompassing term to describe a woman's personality, style and outer beauty.

 

@Invincible, I respect your way of thinking because you're showing respect for women (even if some don't do that for themselves). I've recently been called "hot" by a man I tried to get to know better. (even if he isn't a christian and this is an important factor for me and for overall compatibility) Unsurprisingly, we're not talking anymore. I felt he wasn't really trying to know me as a person. (even if we are in different countries, I think the internet is a fairly good medium to get to know somebody as a person) To answer your question; yes, I think it is objectifying. And who says that to a girl out loud and expects her to fall for him because he acknowledges that, either he has seen to many movies or he's getting the girl he deserves. I'm also sorry for the girls that find value in that. I think it's somewhat of a vicious circle.

 

To add another point. I think physical attraction is very important in a couple and would understand for my husband to jokingly say I'm hot. But overall I think we lost the value of words. We say today "I love" and "beautiful" much more to objects than persons... as if we're afraid what will happen if we sincerely show that value and respect to people.

 

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I'm also sorry for the girls that find value in that.

 

Why?

 

I mean sure, it's creepy if someone you barely know says it to you. But "hot" and "sexy" aren't any less image-focused compliments than "beautiful" is; the only difference is that hot has a particularly sexual bent to it, which, as you've said, is important to have in a healthy relationship anyway. Personally, having my boyfriend look me in the eyes and tell me how sexy he thinks I am is just as wonderful and meaningful as when he tells me I'm beautiful.

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Eh, I don't know if I'd ever want to be called hot. But I know I'd wouldn't want to be called hot by a stranger.

 

Besides, if I guy called me hot, I'd tell him he needs to get his eyes checked. 

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I like being called hot, or sexy. But only one person is allowed to do it as often as he likes 😀

I don't mind someone telling me that, as long as it's not done in a creepy way...Hasn't happened very often, but I have been told I was hot, more in a passing or conversational way, and it made me feel good. It's all in how it's done, I think

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Why?

 

I mean sure, it's creepy if someone you barely know says it to you. But "hot" and "sexy" aren't any less image-focused compliments than "beautiful" is; the only difference is that hot has a particularly sexual bent to it, which, as you've said, is important to have in a healthy relationship anyway. Personally, having my boyfriend look me in the eyes and tell me how sexy he thinks I am is just as wonderful and meaningful as when he tells me I'm beautiful.

 

I agree and I think you also got my point ( maybe I wasn't specific enough). When your boyfriend or future-husband/ husband tells you that, I believe it's something different. You already have a somewhat agreement of physical boundaries or none. When this type of attitude like "hey, sexy ! " etc. becomes a substitute for real interest/communication just to show an interest or the real interest... yeah, not so nice. But I'm still confused whether guys do this in the beginning to put things straight as in - don't friendzone me - or they really don't have a deeper interest.

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a compliment is a compliment. sure hot is a bit more sexualizing one then beautiful. but i dont think too hard about it when someone compliments me lol

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I agree and I think you also got my point ( maybe I wasn't specific enough). When your boyfriend or future-husband/ husband tells you that, I believe it's something different.

 

Ah OK, I interpreted "I understand for my husband to jokingly say I'm hot" to mean that it was only acceptable for your future husband to call you hot if he said it in a joke-y way, but saying it seriously would still be unacceptable.

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It's flattering.  Maybe kind of crude from a stranger, but complimentary nonetheless.

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