truelovewaits

Interracial Dating

39 posts in this topic

My goodness this is all very serious !,, Which is not what the OP was after id bet ? Personally I read it as race which means White European Asian, African, etc etc Which im cool with. But also when someone linked it to mean the human race then hey yep

I found that a giggle? But then im a Brit so any excuse for a bit of light hearted eh ?

Ok back to my rocking chair.

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 I think EWZs point was that dating "outside your race" isnt a big deal; its not like your stepping out of the human species or anything we have different cultures and ethnicities thats it (atleast thats how I read the post).  I dont think you should lose hope and "stay in your own" that sounds silly just find a guy youre attracted to (regardless of his ethnicity) and show interest its that simple. If he isnt attracted to you then move on and find another cute guy but dont think you have to stay in within a certain ethnic background because of that. You are in America which is a melting pot soon no one is going to be able to keep up with "races" because everyone will be mixed and no one will care, no one has time for that, way too many out there.

I dont think the word you used was a big deal, it was just a light hearted post lol

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I learned in an introductory psych course that humans tend to be more attracted to those that look similar to them...any thoughts?

As for me, the two women I have dated were of another race

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I learned in an introductory psych course that humans tend to be more attracted to those that look similar to them...any thoughts?

As for me, the two women I have dated were of another race

 

I'm not surprised if people are more attracted to those that look similar. I think it's a natural human instinct. That's why bullying is so common. People who are bullied are different, so they are teased for it. I would never call it racist if someone is more attracted, or only attracted, to their own race. It only becomes an issue when it judges who they become friends with, etc. I personally am more attracted to Japanese guys than Caucasian guys cuz I got into anime, manga, and J-Pop when I was very young. XD I had such a crush on Teppei Koike when I was 14. lol.

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I don't see a problem with interracial dating. I generally date within my race. Not opposed to dating outside of my race (African decent). To say that I have a preference wouldn't be entirely accurate when it comes to physical features. There have been waaaay too many times I've been attracted to someone who looks completely different from what I would consider my preference. It probably sounds corny, but most of the time my attraction to someone is more on a personality level than a physical level. Someone can meet my physical requirements but quickly become unattractive to me if their personality sucks.

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Since, I'm Caucasian and primarily attracted to women of color, I'm all for inter-racial dating. Aesthetically speaking, I like darker skin tones.  At least, darker than my own, which isn't too hard to find, since I'm fair skinned.

 

When I was in high school (before I realized I was gay), I dated a Caucasian guy, a Filipino guy and an African American guy. My friends sometimes call me the united nations of dating...lol...

 

But, being here in the San Francisco Bay Area, I've gone on dates w/ every color of the rainbow (so to speak) including Caucasian women.

 

But, also in the Bay Area, there's a lot of Asian American Pride which is awesome.  My best friend (a Filipino gay guy), moved in with me at my apartment and he (ironically) got me in to the Asian American pride thing.  So, yeah.  He got me into KPop, of which, the women are super pretty, to the point where I want to learn Korean and visit South Korea.  There's lesbian bars there and there's a gay friendly, English speaking church in South Korea which is cool and I had a South Korean pen pal I met off OkCupid who I was chatting w/ for a while.  She was a lesbian Christian like me, and I was asking her what it was like to be a lesbian Christian in South Korea.  So, I've been reading the Asian American blogs and stuff like that. Go figure.

 

So, my ex-girlfriend was super mean and one of the first women  I met after my ex, was a friend who's Japanese American.  She's the sweetest, nicest person ever.  I was super insecure about being a virgin and inexperienced w/ dating etc, and my friend was so sweet and gave me so much dating advice and told me it was OK and that I should have confidence in myself no matter what.  So, that left a pretty positive impression on me as far as my idea/experience w/ Asian American women.

 

Right around the time I met her, I also met another friend and she was Vietnamese American, also the sweetest, kindest most awesome person ever.  She's super supportive of me waiting till I get married etc. We still hang out all the time and it's cool to have a good person in my life.

 

Being in the Bay Area, I've met a lot of great female friends who are Asian American women who've left a really positive impression on me.

 

Earlier this year, I dated a woman who's Chinese American, what was cool is that she was really supportive of me being a Christian, which is cool because sometimes people in the gay community don't want to hear about religion.  But, she actually asked about it on our first date and though it was super cool I had a personal faith. 

 

Blanket statement:  I think we, human beings, are over all an attractive/cute/sexy group of people.  We should really embrace what we look like; feel good in our skin and celebrate each other's awesomeness. As far as interracial dating goes; let the good times roll.

 

I hope that when I get married that who I marry is a woman of color; but I'm open to whoever comes into my life.  It's up to God.

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*is female, (half) Asian, dating a (blindingly) white (but totally awesome) white guy. Doesn't see anything wrong with interracial dating, goes back to playing video games.*

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I think attraction is mostly a mental thing. You can choose to have strict guidelines and only focus on one type of person/feature or, you can be more open to make exceptions to the rule. Your mind is a very strong device and its sad to say some people still don't know how to use it. Saying that what you like is inevitable is like saying we are programmed with OS when we are born and we can not be changed, we are going to be the same when we die as we were when we were born, I disagree. I think we still have a choice to push the issue and approve it or not.

 

With that said there's nothing wrong with dating inter-racially it only becomes a problem when other races/ ethnicites /cultures are being put down and perceived/depicted as inferior based on your own opinion and/or non absolute facts. I can almost guarantee you  that with as many people there are in the world today someone of a different background probably looks just like you, others have some of your exact features, same body type, someone thinks like you, someone acts so similar to you it would probably make you sick (lol), someone shares your same attitude about life, someone even probably has a voice that's virtually the same as yours and probably come from very different backgrounds; so, I don't see whats all the fuss is about we are all different yet the same. No-one is an anomaly. The only thing stopping us is each other, our minds and locations. 

 

Dating should be as simple as men and women. You like women? Fine, find yourself a woman. You like men? Well pray that it rains men tonight. But nooo there's always some fine print list being dragged behind us like a stray piece of toilet tissue from a public restroom. I think its time we started stepping on people's tissue so they can let those silly list go and worse stop dragging that crap into other peoples lives. Stop graying people out when you don't even know them! Allow options in your life. At least let people get an interview for Pete's sake!!! -.-

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Doesn't matter what the dictonary definition of "race" is.....you are attracted to who you are attracted too!! You fall in love with who you fall in love with!! Their skin color is only a very small part of who they are. The heart and their character is what matters mosts! Just look at this country...we are all a mixture of one nationality or another. Especially African Americans just look at all the different skin tones...not to mention ALL the immagrants that came to America!!! The only ones that were here were the NATIVE AMERICANS!!! So, needless to say....all our anscestory is BLENDED!!!

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To quote the movie Meet Joe Black: "Stay open. Who knows? Lightning could strike!"

Great movie!

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My parents are an interracial couple. One is from North Africa and the other is of Nordic European decent. I have never met anyone that is the same mix as me lol.

On 4/28/2012 at 8:58 PM, truelovewaits said:

'cater to men' better. Any thoughts?

Hmm…pertaining to Asian women…the only people I can recall suggesting something similar to this are Korean moms I have run into.

I have heard from many other races that depending on the location, Hispanic women are the ones like this and they are very passionate/ selfless when in a relationship…So when I had to move to Texas for a few years for work, lol naturally I was pretty excited about that part.

On 5/10/2012 at 8:39 AM, Darius said:

People from a different ethnic background usually have a different cultural background as well. That probably makes it more or less difficult to maintain such a relationship.

When I first read this, I totally agreed with it. There have been clashes and challenges in my family that seemed to be due to cultural differences. However, the more I thought about it, I think at the end of the day it comes down to your personality and character…how do you handle the cultural differences…conflict…tension? Are you a good person? I think those are the things that allows families to get along…not your racial/ethnic/cultural similarities. Heck there are families of the same cultural background that don’t get along.

On 4/28/2012 at 10:39 PM, Invincible said:

Interracial relationships are often frowned upon in many Asian families (mine isn't like that though).

Growing up, one of my best friends lived in my neighborhood and his parents emigrated from Japan. So for about 15 years I got some fun exposure to the Japanese community and culture…OMG his mom made some of the best food I have ever had in my life! Man…looking back at it, I was such a little, free loading mooch… I was always over for dinner.  

Their parents were so polite, they were actually difficult to read. It felt like they were often thinking one thing but did not want to show it…if that makes sense. They had to be more liberal than the other Japanese parents. Anyway, interracial dating in that community was a definite NO...sons/daughters did not matter. I am not saying all Japanese were like that…just the community I was exposed to. Many of the parents within the Japanese community did not even want their children interacting with non-Japanese kids outside of school. This was only an issue with the parents, not the kids. The kids just treated me like a normal kid…so yeah lol that issue came up a few times because I have 0 Japanese DNA.

However, in the past I have had several Korean mothers that I hardly knew! basically offer me their daughters…They would straight up ask me if I have a wife? Do I want a wife? Their daughters are single and then tell me all about their amazing domestic/academic skills. Yeah those Korean moms had 0 reservations about their daughters dating/marrying a non-Korean man. Talk about a stark contrast between Asian cultures. No Japanese mom I knew at that time would ever be that direct….lmao...ever!

On 4/28/2012 at 10:39 PM, Invincible said:

In their eyes, their daughter would be "marrying up" as opposed to say, an Asian guy.

I recently heard Ben Shapiro discussing taxation…And he said that Asian American’s are the least unemployed group and they earn the highest wages…So Actually you would think their idea of marrying up would be reversed, if you’re going off of a national average.

On 4/28/2012 at 10:39 PM, Invincible said:

Asian women on the other hand, are stereotyped as being submissive, sexually exotic and eager to please, which is apparently what many white men find attractive. So when people say they "cater to men better," this is why.

Hmm…this is very interesting and I did not know that. I wonder if the idea of Asian woman they have is influenced by porn? I guess I never asked guys that like Asian women…why they find them so attractive. I actually would have thought it's because Asian women might be more petite and that makes the guy feel more masculine, strong and/or macho or whatever.

On 4/28/2012 at 10:39 PM, Invincible said:

Actually Asian women seem to be the envy of pretty much every kind of guy out there. I've talked with a lot of guys of different races and they all find Asian women attractive

This I have definitely noticed and white women are a very close second. For me, white and Hispanic women are usually what I am attracted to. They usually seem to have the things I find attractive.

On 4/28/2012 at 10:39 PM, Invincible said:

But it's the complete opposite when it comes to Asian guys in terms of desirability.

On 4/28/2012 at 10:39 PM, Invincible said:

When you look at how the media portrays us, it's really not a surprise.

Yeah I have definitely noticed this as well. However, my ex was white and she found Asian men to be the most attractive race…She talked about them all the time… But yeah movies like the hang over really do not help with the stereotyping...or that show two broke girls...(i hated that show but my ex loved watching it)

 

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