truelovewaits

Interracial Dating

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I live in a big city and alot of couples I've noticed are interracial, about 90% of the couples that are happen to be white men and women of asian descent. Alot of people have mentioned this trend to me and some have gone so far as to say that it's because they 'cater to men' better. Any thoughts?

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I bet you live either San Francisco or New York because they both have huge Asian populations there. White male/Asian female couples are the most common interracial pairing in the US. A lot of it has to do with certain stereotypical traits that white men find attractive about Asian women and vice versa.

Interracial relationships are often frowned upon in many Asian families (mine isn't like that though). But most of those families make an exception for their daughters marrying a white man. It's common for Asian parents to marry their daughters off purely for security reasons and to them, white men have this image of being tall, successful and having lots of money. In their eyes, their daughter would be "marrying up" as opposed to say, an Asian guy. Asian women on the other hand, are stereotyped as being submissive, sexually exotic and eager to please, which is apparently what many white men find attractive. So when people say they "cater to men better," this is why. Of course, I'm sure there are many of these couples who are together and race isn't even an issue. My sister is dating a white guy right now, though I do think he's beneath her.

Actually Asian women seem to be the envy of pretty much every kind of guy out there. I've talked with a lot of guys of different races and they all find Asian women attractive. But it's the complete opposite when it comes to Asian guys in terms of desirability. I read a study a while back asking a few thousand women to rank men of different races based on their level of attractiveness and Asian men on average ranked the lowest (Lucky me). When you look at how the media portrays us, it's really not a surprise. We're often stereotyped as shy, socially awkward, lacking of confidence, nerdy and short. Let's not forget the infamous "small penis" stereotype. These aren't exactly desirable traits to most women.

We can be counted on to help you with your math homework, but apparently we're not sexy enough to date :/

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I always notice that women of Asian descent have a decent loyal guy on their arm. Exactly the type I'd want and yet they don't gravitate toward me so I feel your pain.

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I always notice that women of Asian descent have a decent loyal guy on their arm. Exactly the type I'd want and yet they don't gravitate toward me so I feel your pain.

My sister's boyfriend is loyal (as far as I know) but hardly decent. I wish she's stop wasting her time with guys that have no direction in their lives and a get a good guy. Apparently a lot of needy, insecure guys tend to gravitate towards her.

Stay true to yourself and your values and the right guy will notice you, TLW :)

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well, my mother is Filipino and my father is Italian. I know literally 50 other people who are of the same mix as me (half-Asian, half-white) because my city is one of the most ethnically-diverse cities in North America. We're not as "rare" as we would be if we lived in Kansas.

White men usually gravitate towards Asian women because they're usually loyal and eager to please, especially Filipino women, I've noticed. Also, white men marrying Asian women after their failed first marriage is a trend I've noticed, too. North America is just one big melting pot! One day, everyone is going to be beige!

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I don't know much about interracial dating from an Asian perspective. I do know some people that dated and married from different countries and cultural backgrounds and it worked for them, but I imagine it takes lots of work and extra communication and understanding from different mindsets and ways of thinking perceiving things.

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I'm not against interracial dating or relationships. I'm however also not entirely in favor. I'd say, yes, tolerance and acceptance, but I wouldn't be okay with advocating or promoting it.

This I think has more to do with cultural issues than with racial issues. People from a different ethnic background usually have a different cultural background as well. That probably makes it more or less difficult to maintain such a relationship. Also, I think some people get into dating or having a relationship with someone from a different background, sometimes (often?) do this for the wrong reasons and with stereotypes in mind. I'm not against interracial relationships and don't frown upon them, but I am not entirely positive.

I, however, do think the cultural aspect may be more important than the ethnic/racial. I wouldn't be against dating someone from a different ethnic background. But I wouldn't want to date anyone with a widely different background when it comes to culture and values. That would exclude, for example, women from an islamic cultural background for me. Probably African and perhaps Asian women as well.

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In general I support interacial relationships. However, sometimes I feel as though women of certain ethnic backgrounds are fetishized (mostly asian and even biracial/multiracial) and that annoys me. Something else that annoys me is racial preferences especially if they have a preference for a race outside of their own. That to me is very close minded and seems very fetish-like and very different from being open to interacial relationships and accepting all races as equal. To me, exoticizing a certain race means that you really don't see the races as equals.

As someone who is asian and black (biracial), I have encountered many people who have fetishes for asian and biracial women (these are the top 2 demographics that probably have it the worst) and I personally find it a little offensive.

I hope this doesn't offend anyone because I certainly don't hate anyone who has a preference when it comes to race and I don't consider it racist or anything, it mainly just a minor annoyance that I just learn to accept (I have a couple of friends who are even like this).

My parents are just very open minded when it comes to race (for the most part but they do have their moments...like they would both prefer if I marry asian or white even though neither are white) and race had nothing to do with their attraction towards each other so I hope I can meet someone who is like that. My grandparents are...I will say ignorant when it comes to race but not racist (the former isn't nearly as bad as the latter imo).

It's also pretty messed up how certain races get snubbed based on stereotypes like envincebal was saying but I'm not even going to go there.

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Something else that annoys me is racial preferences especially if they have a preference for a race outside of their own. That to me is very close minded and seems very fetish-like and very different from being open to interacial relationships and accepting all races as equal. To me, exoticizing a certain race means that you really don't see the races as equals.

I respectfully disagree. Racial preference does not mean you're close-minded or not being open to dating other races. It just means you tend to find one race more attractive than others. You can't help what you are attracted to anymore than you can decide what kinds of food you like or music you listen to. Your preferences are a result of genetic or environmental influence.

For example, I tend to be attracted to white girls more than any other race. I didn't just wake up one day and decided I want to be attracted to them, I just am. That's not to say that I don't find women of other races attractive or I refuse to date other kinds of women, I just happen to find certain characteristics commonly found among white women that I find attractive. I'm open to dating and marrying any girl as long as they share the same values and I do and I find them attractive.

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Well I think all people have preferences based on what they appreciate physically. I mean I typically prefer taller, athletic, tanish to darker skin girls. Those are the types I've dated in the past ( a mix of white and black girls). In all honestly the race or the background plays a part but it isnt the end all be all, because while physical attraction is important, real important, sharing similar faith, values, and goals are MUCH more important.

If God blessed me with a beautiful Proverbs 31 woman, I wouldn't care if she was purple. :)

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For example, I tend to be attracted to white girls more than any other race. I didn't just wake up one day and decided I want to be attracted to them, I just am. That's not to say that I don't find women of other races attractive or I refuse to date other kinds of women, I just happen to find certain characteristics commonly found among white women that I find attractive. I'm open to dating and marrying any girl as long as they share the same values and I do and I find them attractive.

To me this isn't racial preference. If someone finds single eyelids attractive that has nothing to do with race even though it's a trait more common for asians, because there are many people of other races that have it too. Any characteristic that you find attractive is present in all races. I also don't think it's a racial preference if someone happens to date more white people unless they consciously seek out caucasians and avoid others.

One part of me wants to beleive that people have absolutely no control over what they are attracted to, but for the most part I think its a conscious decision.Sometimes there is even some underlying prejudice/racism there if you really get to the bottom of it. We can choose to familarize ourselves with people of other races. We can choose to not even attempt to like certain things, and we can learn to like things that we may have thought we didn't like. Sorry but I'm not buying it :/

Well I think all people have preferences based on what they appreciate physically. I mean I typically prefer taller, athletic, tanish to darker skin girls. Those are the types I've dated in the past ( a mix of white and black girls). In all honestly the race or the background plays a part but it isnt the end all be all, because while physical attraction is important, real important, sharing similar faith, values, and goals are MUCH more important.

If God blessed me with a beautiful Proverbs 31 woman, I wouldn't care if she was purple. :)

I just don't think the races are as different as everyone is blowing it up to be. I agree with the bolded. Why can't people be individuals first? That's where true variation lies.

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One part of me wants to beleive that people have absolutely no control over what they are attracted to, but for the most part I think its a conscious decision.Sometimes there is even some underlying prejudice/racism there if you really get to the bottom of it. We can choose to familarize ourselves with people of other races. We can choose to not even attempt to like certain things, and we can learn to like things that we may have thought we didn't like. Sorry but I'm not buying it :/

Can you make a conscious decision to be attracted to a gender you're not attracted to? Can you force yourself into being physically attracted to a person you find hideous regardless of race? Chances are, no. Does it mean you hate or are prejudice against people you're not attracted to? No. I agree with being open minded and giving everyone a chance but there' no point in pushing to issue even further after you've given them a chance and it didn't work out.

Like FTD said, race and background can play a part in physical attraction, which is important in relationships, but it's not as important as things like faith, commitment and values.

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Okay, so here's another one for you guys. Would you date a girl that is not your race? I am honestly just asking because I don't see many attractive guys in my well you know own race. so I was wondering if I should keep my hopes up to find my Mr. Right in another race or should I just go for my own.

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Well, I would date a guy who was of another race. I've definitely been attracted to men of other races.

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Great post, I like this as its introspective.

I posted similar question a while back called 'Racial Stereotypes'

Look it up if you'd like, I'm much too darn lazy to post a link, my apology!

My answer certainly, why would I not!

Character doesn't have a color, and that's what is important, right?

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Do you mean like an orc, an elf, or a Neanderthal? There is only one race of humans alive right now: Homo Sapiens, or modern humans. If you meant different someone of a different ethnicity, then yes. 

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Do you mean like an orc, an elf, or a Neanderthal? There is only one race of humans alive right now: Homo Sapiens, or modern humans. If you meant different someone of a different ethnicity, then yes. 

 

What? Her question seemed quite reasonable to me. I don't understand your comment. It seems like you're belittling her question. Maybe I'm overreacting and if I am, please accept my apology. But didn't you know what she meant when she said "race"? If so, why your sarcastic comment? 

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What? Her question seemed quite reasonable to me. I don't understand your comment. It seems like you're belittling her question. Maybe I'm overreacting and if I am, please accept my apology. But didn't you know what she meant when she said "race"? If so, why your sarcastic comment? 

 

I was attempting to be funny, but over the internet it looked like I was being a jerk. Why do people always say race whey the mean ethnicity? They are not the same thing. Sorry if I got off topic and derailed the thread. 

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I was attempting to be funny, but over the internet it looked like I was being a jerk. Why do people always say race whey the mean ethnicity? They are not the same thing. Sorry if I got off topic and derailed the thread. 

 

Her use of 'race' was correct and not offensive.

 

Webster's definition:

 

noun

1.

a group of persons related by common descent or heredity.

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Um, just throwing my $0.02 in here, but I think Abby got it right. :D

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Race_%28human_classification%29

 

Homo sapiens sapiens is a species, often classified into multiple races based on social constructs. They still ask about race on the U.S. census (What is the person's race? White; Black, African Am., or Negro; American Indian or Alaska Native; Asian Indian; Chinese; Filipino; Other Asian; Japanese; Korean; Vietnamese; Native Hawaiian; Guamanian or Chamorro; Samoan; Other Pacific Islander; Some other race). The person's ethnicity was a different question.

 

And now, back to the topic...

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Um, just throwing my $0.02 in here, but I think Abby got it right. :D

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Race_%28human_classification%29

 

Homo sapiens sapiens is a species, often classified into multiple races based on social constructs. They still ask about race on the U.S. census (What is the person's race? White; Black, African Am., or Negro; American Indian or Alaska Native; Asian Indian; Chinese; Filipino; Other Asian; Japanese; Korean; Vietnamese; Native Hawaiian; Guamanian or Chamorro; Samoan; Other Pacific Islander; Some other race). The person's ethnicity was a different question.

 

And now, back to the topic...

 

“Race†means species. The word “race†is a derivative an Old Italian word that came from the Latin, word ratio, which in ancient texts has been compared to the words “species†and “kind,†(like kind of thing.)  The word race was used in the English language starting in the 16th century, and earlier in other languages. It was used to separate “civilized people†from “savage tribes,†many people in Europe, including some scientist were appalled that they could be compared to “savage people.†The polygenesis view of human evolution was created to support the notion of different human “races.†Many scientists of old would interchange “race†with “subspecies.â€

 

Over time polygenesis was widely accepted by scientists throughout the world. The polygenesis model of human evaluation states that human populations evolved separately from one another. This is obviously wrong, but “civilized people†used it to justify their position as a superior “race.†You can see where this is going. This stuff was “supported†by “scientific racism.â€

 

The word “race†is a cultural and linguistic problem. People confuse race and ethnicity, and the confuse ethnicity with culture. An example of this is the word ethnocentric, which a view that one’s culture is superior to all others. The word ethnocentric has nothing to do with ethnicity, but with culture, but because the word ethnicity is often confuse with culture, the word came out this way. The term “racist†should be ethnocentric, and ethnocentric should be something like “culturecentric.†Unfortunately in many cultures word and notions of “race†will never go away or be replaces with ethnicity.

 

There were different human species like Homo habilis, Homo Australopithecus, etc. Right now there is only one human race aka species, us Homo sapiens. Different “races†of Homo sapiens don’t exist, and the false belief wouldn't be so ingrained in culture if it was for some “racist†people.

 

Sorry for fudging up the thread, and as a disclaimer I’m not calling anyone here “racist.â€

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Nevermind. I actually agree with WW (kind of...because are only 3-4 races Caucasoid, Mongoloid, Negroid, and Australoid) and I also see where EWG is coming from. There's the more social definition and then there's the scientific definition. So yay everyone's right!

Anyway, great topic but there's already a thread on this. This poor dead horse has been beaten enough.

http://forums.waitingtillmarriage.org/topic/817-interracial-dating/

and here's the one about skin color

http://forums.waitingtillmarriage.org/topic/1928-is-thinking-about-skin-color-offensive/

 

 

Do you mean like an orc, an elf, or a Neanderthal? There is only one race of humans alive right now: Homo Sapiens, or modern humans. If you meant different someone of a different ethnicity, then yes.

 

I thought your post was obviously meant to be light-hearted and humorous (come on, orcs and elves? :lol:), but WHOOSH!

Btw I have always wondered what it would be like if Neanderthals still existed :o

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Can you make a conscious decision to be attracted to a gender you're not attracted to? Can you force yourself into being physically attracted to a person you find hideous regardless of race? Chances are, no. Does it mean you hate or are prejudice against people you're not attracted to? No. I agree with being open minded and giving everyone a chance but there' no point in pushing to issue even further after you've given them a chance and it didn't work out.

Like FTD said, race and background can play a part in physical attraction, which is important in relationships, but it's not as important as things like faith, commitment and values.

 

Yeah. I agree. Some people think they live inside your head.

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I still agree with myself and WanderingWashingtonian. The question isn't how the word 'race' used to be used. The question is what is its current definition? And when that's considered, Abby's use of the word 'race' is totally valid.

 

If we can't use the dictionary to determine a word's meaning then there's a big problem.

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