Invincible

Flirting = cheating?

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When we think of cheating, we usually think of your significant other sleeping with someone else behind your back or at least having secret meetings with them. I tend to take a much broader view on what constitutes cheating. To me, it is basically any purposeful action that could seriously compromise a relationship.

I believe flirting is cheating. The whole purpose of flirting is to show the other person you are attracted to them in some way. If I'm already taken, there is no reason for me to look elsewhere for that kind of intention attention. Some people make the argue that they're doing it just for fun. I don't think there is such a thing as "harmless flirting." Even if you don't mean anything by it, the person you're flirting with might get the wrong idea and might try to pursue something deeper. That is inviting harm to a relationship.

What do you guys think?

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Oh goodness, since this is the number one thing that consumes me and kills me from the inside out, I'm confident that I'm going to blow this forum up...

First, lets define what flirting is:

flirtingpresent participle of flirt (Verb)

Verb:

  • Behave as though attracted to or trying to attract someone, but without serious intentions: "it amused him to flirt with her".
  • Experiment with or show a superficial interest in (an idea, activity, or movement) without committing oneself to it seriously.

So, when you behave as if you are attracted to somebody else, I think it's basically striking the match that lights the fuse. When somebody feeds back into the flirting, then it just goes on and then flattery can lead to compromise.

I don't even are of this is considered being over the edge, but I don't flirt with guys and all of my affection is just with the one guy I'm with. When you flirt with other people, I feel you put yourself in a situation that could lead up to something more and that it is wrong to put yourself in situations intentionally. Plus, how do you think that makes your significant other feel when you do that in their presence and I'm sure it makes them wonder what you do when you aren't in their presence.

I'm a one man woman until the end.

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I believe flirting is cheating. The whole purpose of flirting is to show the other person you are attracted to them in some way. If I'm already taken, there is no reason for me to look elsewhere for that kind of intention attention.

Amen.

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Plus, how do you think that makes your significant other feel when you do that in their presence and I'm sure it makes them wonder what you do when you aren't in their presence.

Exactly! I could never do that to someone. And more than that; I would never want to. I've never been much for flirting with random girls to begin with. To piggyback on what PZ said I am definitely a one woman man.

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I have absolutely no clue how to flirt, so I don't think my husband will ever have to worry. Is flirting cheating? Um...yes. Even if it is only friendly and with a stranger you won't see again in the next 10 minutes, it isn't right.

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I don't flirt with guys and all of my affection is just with the one guy I'm with.

I didn't even know how to flirt until I was like 17 :P

I agree that you're only affectionate with your one special guy :)

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If you are with someone and you flirt with another person that is emotional cheating and its wrong.

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Well even though some individuals may argue that flirting has nothing to do with 'cheating' yet, I guess all will have to agree that it definitely serves as the foundation stone for cheating, if the person(s) involved is/are in a relationship.

In a nutshell, from my personal POV, I feel it IS cheating even if one of the involved is in a relationship.

I am cool with it only when neither of us are in a relationship & I can see the potential for a prospective long-term relationship. :)

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I agree with Aditya's post and everyone elses!

I personally will only flirt with a GF/wife, and don't flirt with random people, I will reserve it for someone special to me.

And I think that if not outright cheating, it is starting down the path to cheating.

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do we have a hive mind? lol

i haven't been here long or posted that much...but from what i've seen, we all agree on just about everything. no major disagreements, anyway. crazy. :v

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Flirting is emotional cheating that could potentially lead to physical cheating.

Don't flirt with anyone who isn't your significant other if you're in a relationship.

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Flirting is emotional cheating that could potentially lead to physical cheating.

Don't flirt with anyone who isn't your significant other if you're in a relationship.

exactly.

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do we have a hive mind? lol

i haven't been here long or posted that much...but from what i've seen, we all agree on just about everything. no major disagreements, anyway. crazy. :v

Well mostly what we talk about is sex and relationships, so naturally we agree on those. lol. It would be weird if ppl on a WTM site disagreed a lot about matters of sex, just like if people on a "sleeparoundalot.org" site argued that people don't value relationships anymore. XD But there are topics best to avoid on this site, mainly homosexuality and abortion, seeing as there are many different opinions on this site (me being pro-homosexual marriage and pro-choice while most people on this site being anti-both.)

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sleeparoundalot.org

the scary thing is that something like that probably actually exists----but in no way on earth am i checking the internet for it!

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On the E! channel today on their show E! news they had a segment on how the website AshleyMadison.com, which apparently is a website for people that want to cheat on their spouses discreetly and they had offered a reward for anyone who would come out and say they had sex with Tim Tebow. It's a sad, sick world we live in!

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Ommmmgggggeeeeeeeeeee you guys! I thought I was the only one who thought this! I agree with everything all of ya'll have said and think ya'll are right!!! It feels so good to know people believe flirting with someone who is not your significant other is not okay! I get so tired of seeing couples on facebook hitting on other people or texting flirting emails or messages to other people they have no respect for their partner or their relationship but this makes me sooooo happy to know I'm not only one who think this!!!! ♥♥♥ I hope I find a man with similar views like that! I learn more and more each day on this wonderful site!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ♥♥♥

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On the E! channel today on their show E! news they had a segment on how the website AshleyMadison.com, which apparently is a website for people that want to cheat on their spouses discreetly and they had offered a reward for anyone who would come out and say they had sex with Tim Tebow. It's a sad, sick world we live in!

It's not as discrete as one would think if you are married to a network/systems engineer who had a transperent squid proxie set up to monitory his kids. This site was the first I found in the logs when I discovered my ex's indiscressions.

But back on the topic. Flirting and the emotional cheating hurts worse than phisical cheeting in a lot of cases. I was getting plenty of sex. . . but she was out dating and spending time with men that I wasnt getting. Cheating can be defined as giving someone esle something intimate be it emotionally or physically that should be given to your partner.

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I totally agree flirting=cheating when I'm in a relationship I won't even joke around with another girl... I barely even talk to other girls unless I have to (waitress etc), so I don't seem rude (like if they ask me a question... Where is... Etc), family obviously, or friends... And I certainly wouldn't be alone with another girl for any reason unless it was a matter of life or death I.e pulling her out of a burning building

I think I'm really careful when it comes to being in a relationship because I don't want to hurt the one I love by saying something to someone else and my gf/wife percieving it to have meant something different so I'm generally polite but distant to other women and when I'm in a relationship I don't hide things from her, I'll leave my phone lying around, don't try and hide what I'm doing on the Internet etc if she goes through my phone/Internet history etc that's down to her insecurities because there's nothing for me to hide... I would however talk to her about it to find out why she's insecure and try and help her with that

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It definitely hurts the relationship. I had a boyfriend who hugged his gal friends all the time, picked them up, touched their chest, "all in good fun" I had such a hard time with this. I knew it was flirting, deceitful and disrespectful, but I loved him and wanted to believe him. Obviously the relationship did not last.

It wasnt cheating per se, but it had the implications of cheating, which is just as damaging as if he really went through with it. Sure you can hug a lady friend after a long time no see, but everyday isnt really necesary. and like I said it is disrespectful and gives the wrong idea. I would never do that to my bf/husband and would hope he'd feel the same way! I would want him to feel secure. Im going to trust my guy until he gives me a reason not to. Flirting like that is way too far. It does lead into cheating.

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Interesting topic. Does giving a complement count as flirting? If I had a GF and she told some guy he looks nice, he’s smart, he’s in shape or whatever, I would not think anything of it.

I agree with most of what you said. However, I do think there are instances when you can have harmless flirting…It definitely depends on the degree of flirtation, the couple and is a case by case basis kind of thing. Personally, I never flirted with any woman when I was with my ex. So off the top of my head, if I was in a relationship and my hypothetical GF was flirting, here are two deal breaking red flags:

1)      People that are narcissistic and flirt, do this because it inflates their egos. When they get attention back, they think they are amazing, better than other men/women or they are just so desirable. These people will place their egos first in the relationship. The only passion they have is for themselves and not their partner. So if my hypothetical gf was flirting because she is a narcissist, then she will never become my wife.

2)      If she flirting with guys who are nothing like me and she is showing strong sexual interest, then she is most likely settling for me. Basically, I am only the nice guy and she wants something from me or she is using me to fill some void in her life…i.e. a family, money, husband, emotional security, loneliness and/or et cetera…Therefore she is willing to sacrifice some of her preferences, desires or needs even though she will always yearn for those things… If her flirtation is an indication of settlement, then she will never become my wife.

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