Amber Elizabeth

Before we go: Your relationship/virginity/WTM status, Then vs. Now

7 posts in this topic

Thought of this topic a while ago, but never made it. Even though the site is mostly a ghost town and is being taken down in less than a month, I decided I'd make it anyway. 

 

When you first joined this site, what was your relationship/virginity/WTM status? Were you single? Dating, engaged, or married to someone? Virgin, non-virgin? Were you waiting for everything or only some things?

And how does your relationship/virginity/WTM status in 2020 compare to what it was when you first joined? If you were in a relationship, are you still with that person? If you were a virgin then, are you still one now? Are you still waiting, or are you not waiting, or only waiting for some things? Or have you even decided to be celibate for life?

So how does your status when you first joined compare to now?

This would be an even better topic if this site was still active, but even if only one person replies to it, then that's cool. :D 

I'll post mine in a bit. :) 

 

 

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This post will get slightly VDA-ish. :P

 

First joined in January 2014 (Age 19)

Relationship status: Single, never dated or been in a relationship, not really looking for one

Virginity staus: 110% virgin

WTM staus: Wasn't really interested in sex, but only wanted it with husband if I ever was.

 

My staus in February 2020 (Age 25).

Relationship status: Single, never dated or been in a relationship, not looking for one

Virginity staus: 110% virgin (unless having sex with yourself counts :P)

WTM staus: Thinking about staying celibate for life, thinking about having a celibate marriage, and thinking about still being a waiting for everything WTMer if I ever dated. But also recently started thinking about only waiting for PIV sex with a boyfriend/husband (but of course we would wait at least 6 months to a 1-year minimum before we did anything). But if I did that, then we wouldn't really be doing much anyway since there's not a lot of sexual stuff I'm open to. So it would mostly be him doing hand and mouth stuff on me, some pegging, and using toys. If it involves a peen and isn't PIV, then I don't want to do it ever, or rather not do it for some things.

But then I have also fantasized about hooking up with people and them giving me hand/mouth stuff (either sex, but f more than m, and with f it might be more than just that) by either me looking for one or someone initiating one and then me going along with it. But in reality, it is very unlikely that this would happen. Highly unlikely that I would actively go out and look for a hookup offline/online, and unlikely that I would agree to one if someone asked if I wanted to. Too risky STD wise and such for me to seriously consider ever doing that. Though I couldn't say for certain that I wouldn't ever actually do stupid shit like that at least once. 

 

So in the 6 years since I've joined, my relationship and virginity status has stayed the same, but I'm unsure about my WTM status. Not sure if I want to be celibate for life, wait for everything besides kissing, or only wait for PIV. Most likely the first because I'm not attracted to anyone. And a have a super-specific and unrealistic type of guy I would date, and I wouldn't very far outside of that type, so the chance finding anyone I would remotely be open to dating are basically non-existent. :P 

 

 

Edited by Amber Elizabeth
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I joined in Dec 2011 (age 26)

Relationship status: Single, never dated.

Virgin Status: Virgin

WTM status: Waiter

Fast forward to January 2020 (age 34)

Relationship status: I dated for a year and it ended in a breakup.

Virgin Status: I am still one.

WTM status: I am still a waiter and don’t see that changing for the future until I meet the mrs. 

 

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I hope you will join us at the other site, Amber Elizabeth (https://savagenutritionist.wixsite.com/celibacy).  It's not as good but it is something!  And it can be as good as we build it to be.

---

It was 2013 when I joined this site.  When I first discovered this site, I had come up with the idea that I would like to WTM but I was a non-virgin at the time.  I googled to see if this was a "thing".  I found this site.  I looked further to see if it was a virgin-only site and I saw in Mike's writings that it was not a virgin-only site but simply WTM.  Yay!  I was single at that time.  I didn't know how "far" was too far in waiting.  That is why I participated in the forums so much, because I was exploring where I stood on many different topics.  Some of my views have evolved over time.  

Fast forward to now, I am single and celibate.  It has been a good thing in that as it has helped shaped me in who I am today and I learned to stand firm in my values.  I haven't had a boyfriend in ages and that's okay.  It's easy to get a boyfriend.  Much harder to have a boyfriend who is compatible and WTM.  But that's okay because I realize it is worth it.  And it is better for my daughter for me not to move forward with anyone unless they are stellar even if that ends up being no one.  She really likes our family just the two of us, so I don't want to change that unless some miracle happens.  And so far it hasn't happened.  I think that is the deal about being a non-virgin single mom waiter.  We are really outside of the norm but have committed to self-development. 

Today my commitment to celibacy is stronger than ever.  I am thankful for this site and the friends I have met along the way.  It has been very flattering to know that there are some virgins who have been interested in me over the years even as a non-virgin single mom.  

I think WTM is really the belief in hope.  That there is something worth waiting for, and it is not just sex but a good and loving relationship.  The hope that there is something better out there even if you can't see it in front of you. 

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I first joined in February 2014 (age 18).

Relationship status: single

Virginity status: virgin, never kissed or made out with anyone

WTM status: waiting till marriage. My reasons for doing so were that I couldn't see myself having sex with someone I wasn't extremely emotionally close to and didn't trust. I considered sex a way of expressing that closeness and trust.

As of now, February 2020 (age 24):

Relationship status: still single. I tried dating for a while, but didn't enjoy it.

Virginity status: virgin, but I've kissed and made out with a couple of people. Also didn't enjoy it.

WTM status: it's complicated. A couple of years after joining this forum, and thanks in part to discussions on here, I started becoming more comfortable with the idea of sex, which I wasn't before. I decided that while I was still waiting for a close emotional bond to go all the way, I wanted to explore the rest and challenge my comfort zone through dating. I did so, and realised that actually, I didn't care about sex, kissing, or dating at all - what I'd wanted all along was the closeness, but I'd thought romance and marriage were the only way to get it. Long story short, after a lot of questioning, I figured out I'm asexual and aromantic. I've since been focusing on other ways to be close to people, and I couldn't be happier. Turns out I'd much, much rather have a best friend than a husband.

Because of this, it's very unlikely I'll have sex or even be in a relationship, now or in the foreseeable future. I can't say I never will, but if it does happen, I'll still need to build trust over a long period of time before doing the deed. And if it doesn't happen, I'm 100% fine being celibate and a virgin for the rest of my life. In fact, as things stand, I'd much prefer it that way :)

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Amber Elizabeth, thank you for this great post

 

I joined the site January 2013. 

My reason for joining was that I was meeting up with a girl who didn't wait and already had a daughter. I felt jealous and upset that she didn't wait and felt like I am the only person in the world who is WTM. It was really important to me. I found this site of fellow WTMers who provided comfort.

THEN:

Relationship status: Single, but on the dating scene

Virginity status: Virgin, but kissed before

WTM status: Waiting till marriage. It was very important to me

 

NOW:

Relationship Status: Married for 2 years now

Virginity status: Not a virgin obviously

WTM status: Still a believer. Both me and my wife waited successfully till marriage and we are damn proud of it. And WTM is what I will teach my kids

 

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I joined the site in May 2012, I was 18. Now I'm 26. 

Then I wasn't in a relationship. Since joining I started dating one guy in 2012 but not too long into being interested in each other I knew someone else would be a better match for him and we ended things. Have always WTM. 

Now I'm not currently in a relationship. I have still WTM through the struggles. My status is waiting till I'm married, I still believe in that and still want to show love to who I marry by letting him be the only one I'm deeply intimate with.

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