OneLovelyBabe

Been so lonely as of late.

8 posts in this topic

Part of it is because I'm in Canada which is not my home state, and I don't have internet where I'm living. I'm going back to the states in about two and a half weeks and DYING for that. I never hung out with friends much there anyway, as all my friends were usually wrapped up in other things. I know I need to connect with the Lord more, but I am so struggling because of the circumstances. And when I seem to get motivated, either to relax or whatever else, another trial comes up. Fleas in my bed. Washing machine overflowing and mold. My ex popping up and freaking me out and tapping on my car window twice, once in mid traffic. Now I'm trying to stay away from my go to to save money which is Tim Hortons, and I feel more alone than ever. Not to where I used to feel which was that I NEEDED a husband. But I feel and felt like everyone else has everyone around them all the time. A husband, friends, children. Etc. Help.

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I'm sorry dealing with all that. I can relate to feeling like most people around me are too preoccupied with other things. Why are you stuck in Canada in the first place?

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Hey, 

   I am sorry that you are dealing with theses circumstances. I can relate with your feeling that you do not really have a community. I had the same feeling when I went to graduate school in another state that was pretty far away from my home. I wanted to go home. I think it is great that you are connecting here and I am glad to see you again on the forums. 

Chris

 

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On 6/11/2018 at 3:17 AM, Invincible said:

I'm sorry dealing with all that. I can relate to feeling like most people around me are too preoccupied with other things. Why are you stuck in Canada in the first place?

Well.... I came out here to flee abuse. I had finally recognized why I'm so behind in life and relationships -- because my mother was abusive. I hadn't recognized it before. I also came out here because my ex is out here. I am in my own separate place currently. I moved into a house with him and his sister. We were planning on getting our own place. THANKFULLY that didn't happen. I realize I had been deceived, and that I should have never been living with a man. I had felt like I was out of options in California. I DEFINITELY heard the Lord say I needed to leave my house, and that I was a slave there. I realize now I had allowed my reality and feelings to crowd out the fact I was supposed to stay in California, just find elsewhere to go and maybe take time to get with the Lord. It was hard because I felg stuck. Eventually, I settled going to Canada. I never really wanted to come here in the first place and felt like it was dark. Within three weeks, I was reading my text messages the other day, and my ex began getting violent with me. Along with controlling manipulative and isolating. Anyway, that's how I got out here. Per the LORD He has gotten me housing and everything I need out here. I was relying upon my ex's phone and prophetic healing, plus I didn't know anyone out here. Now I recognize, my text app has free calling for US and Canada. I also finished my healing so far anyway with the Lord. He used both to manipulate me. 

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On 6/11/2018 at 7:56 PM, Slayerofdragon said:

Hey, 

   I am sorry that you are dealing with theses circumstances. I can relate with your feeling that you do not really have a community. I had the same feeling when I went to graduate school in another state that was pretty far away from my home. I wanted to go home. I think it is great that you are connecting here and I am glad to see you again on the forums. 

Chris

 

Thank you! :) Yeah, it's hard having no connections. I do however have a few people I see on a regular basis which is nice. I am just trying to get everything ready for the drive back which takes a lot of work. Jobs, etc. However I have definitely learned a lot from the Lord being here and it is not a total waste. The fact that He wants me here still shows me I'm where I'm supposed to be. I'm just honestly antsy though to see my Dad since he got diagnosed with cancer. Any prayers would be fully appreciated.

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Sorry to hear it. Hope that things work out better for you soon.

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1 hour ago, OneLovelyBabe said:

thank you all!!!!! I am back in California!!!!!

I hope things are better in California than they were in Canada!

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