Jojo

I'm 18 a virgin and I think about sex way too much, how do I stop?

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I've always dreamed about my prince charming coming in to my life. I've always dreamed of the things talked about in this forum. Finding my soul mate, staying abstinent until marriage and having an incredible together as an unbreakable team. Lately I've been contemplating if waiting is really worth it because most girls my age have done it or are planning on doing it in university and with the horrible marriages (especially my parents), failed relationships and "men are trash" testimonials I don't want to be naive and unrealistic in hoping that I will find the one who is meant for me. And I'm really ashamed of this but I fantasize about sex with who I'd like to think is my future husband a lot and then I get frustrated because I feel like it will never happen. I REALLY WANT TO MEET MY SOUL MATE AND KNOW THAT HE LOVES ME FOR ME BUT I'M LOSING HOPE THAT HE EVEN EXISTS

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Welcome to the forums, Jojo.

First off, it absolutely is worth it to wait and it is very possible to find the good kind of man you are looking for. You should never lose hope of that. Whatever negative experiences your friends and family had probably says more about themselves than anything else. They purposefully chose to settle in bad relationships and to hook up frivolously. Just because it's the popular thing to do doesn't mean everyone in the world is doing it. There are lots of people out there like us who value waiting and meaningful relationships. Don't let anyone else tell you otherwise. Stay true to your values, don't give into peer pressure and you will attract the right guy.

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Welcome to the forum dude, spend some time here, soak in the relaxing atmosphere.

With regards to prince charming, anything worth having takes at least some work. Don't date a thousand people, that's not healthy. Be smarter; if you want to find prince charming, think about what makes a prince charming. Do you want someone who only dotes on you 24/7, or someone who challenges you? If you don't have a general idea of what you're looking for, you won't know when you've found it. At the same time, having a Santa wish list of things you want is probably unrealistic. Prioritise like 5 main things that will filter out the "nope" guys and you will be on your way to finding the one.

Now when it comes to waiting, yes, it's objectively scientifically better to wait. When it comes to sex before marriage people are destroying their ability to have future relationships, they're affecting their children, they're feeding their own impulsiveness and short-term gratification over long-term happiness, just to get a dopamine hit. Outside of marriage and commitment, the benefits of sex are not much more than eating a bar of chocolate(some women even compare sex to eating chocolate), and the side effects are much, much worse. I'm not gonna go into the science of that here, though. Just remember, getting into the habit of defering short-term gratification for long-term happiness is a great tool in most aspects of life.

As for having the urge to scratch the old itch, you're in the right place here. Some of us are double your age(not me lol). And the male sex drive is(according to studies on the sex lives of gays and lesbians) about 9 times more powerful than the female sex drive. So if you compare yourself to some of these men who have waited maybe 15 years since they were legal, you've only just left the starting post. And female virginity is much, much more attractive than male virginity so you probably won't have trouble finding someone later on if you change your mind.

If you finished that, sorry for the ramble but I hope it helped in some way to make your decision.
For better or worse, don't judge this site by my responses alone because I'm not your average waiter lol.
But I do hope you enjoy your time here =]

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