Melme246

ive started talking to a guy for a month but all he talks about is sex now that ive gotten to no him better

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Okay so me and this guy have started talking for a month now and everything was going well until the talking stage gotten more intense and he started talking about sex all the time ,its gotten to the point where when ever we talk on the phone or factime he ask me if i can send pics ,i always tell him no and when that happens he hangs up,i honestly like him just not when hes doing that type of stuff like hes a chill dude and i like lots of things about him but just not that so now idk what i should do,is this normal for you guys to always talki about that stuff ??

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Thank you for sharing your thoughts, i can see you guys are together for little awhile, i dunno how old are you and what kind of relationship are you building, as for sure if its something serious and if there is an open comunication and understanding between you both, for sure he would know what would bother you to avoid it and whats would make you happy to do it, so the relationship may succed as its a life of two, but honestly i dont think hes that serious about the feelings side and pushing to the physically side forgetting they both are connected, thats why i suggest that you tell him about your concern and if he cares enough about you and your feelings he gonna ask it differently when you both are ready if not you better forget about him before its too late.

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Is this normal?  No.  It is not normal for a male to behave this way if he has made a conscious decision and commitment to be a man.  In fact, this is inappropriate behavior for any guy -- whether he has chosen to be a man or something less than one.  I advise you to end your association with him right away as I assume that, like any intelligent self respecting woman, your desire is to have a relationship only with a guy who chooses to be a gentleman.

A mere four weeks or so into interacting with you, this individual has revealed what his true intentions are and, they aren't in any way the intentions of a gentleman.  He is not investing his time and attention into you so that he might get to know you, so that he might discover your beauty and who you are as a person.  If your heart is what he desired, this is what he would be pursuing.  Instead he is pursuing your body or rather, the use of your body to temporarily satisfy his lust.  He is not endeavoring to fall in love with who you are as a person; he is endeavoring to use you for sex.  As such, he is not a man, much less a gentleman -- he has chosen to be something less than these things.

If a male is only willing to talk about sex with you then, that's the only part of you or your life that he is interested in.  If he doesn't desire your heart far more than he desires your body then, he is unsuitable for a romantic relationship.  If his desire is to use you as a means to pleasure himself, rather than to love and respect you then, you shouldn't invest any part of your life or yourself into him.  You laid down some personal boundaries when you let this guy know that you are not comfortable or okay with showing him your naked body.  He has repeatedly demonstrated that he doesn't have even the basic love or respect of a friend for you because he disregards those boundaries, continually pushing you to share pornographic photos of yourself.

In the beginning the two of you talked and shared.  You gave him a taste of your heart and who you are as a person -- you gave him a glimpse of your beauty.  His actions have made it apparent that this isn't a part of you that he found appealing or interesting enough to pursue, as demonstrated by the fact that every time you talk, he pursues sex rather than your heart, your mind, and your emotions.  The moment he finds out he isn't going to get anything sexual out of you, he hangs up -- he is done with you.  You have nothing else to offer that he wants.  He doesn't desire your heart, your intellect, your love, your true beauty -- anything other than using you as a means to sexually gratify himself.  It has been a month.  You've seen who he is and what he wants from you.  Dump him today and move on.  You are worthy of so much more than this individual.

 

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A few thoughts: 

  1. You asked if this kind of behavior is normal. Who cares? What matters is if you're uncomfortable and/or don't appreciate it.
     
  2. I assume you've communicated your boundary very clearly, as in: "You keep asking me for nude pictures. I have told you no and I will not change my mind. Stop asking now." If you've been wishy-washy on that point, it's time to be incredibly clear and leave no room for misunderstanding. This is an absolutely reasonable request to make. If he wanted to be a worthy partner for you, he could easily comply.
     
  3. If you've already been clear, and he has continued to ignore you, then I'm with @BigMat. He does not respect you. Instead he ignores your boundary, pretends not to notice your discomfort, and uses manipulative tactics to punish you when you don't comply. To me, that disrespect for your boundaries is a HUGE red flag, just as bad (if not worse) than the request for nude photos. He is not worthy of your trust.
     
  4. Move on. Tell yourself: "He has qualities that I am attracted to, but he failed a very basic test of being a good friend and partner. He didn't care about my feelings, pressured me, and tried to punish me when I exercised my choice. He put his desires ahead of mine. He did not take no for answer and ignored my boundaries. He is not trustworthy. I deserve much better."

 

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