Edelweiss

Matchmaking by family

3 posts in this topic

Dear Guys,

It comes up to my mind regarding matchmaking by your family. I have met some couples here got married because of their parents' matchmaking. Some have a happily marriage life and others not. I am an Asian and I am from a clan where matchmaking is popular. It is not only your family will be busy matchmaking you with someone, but also your neighbours. Thankfully my parents aren't into matchmaking. 

I would like to know your opinion if it happens to you. Would you guys accept it or not?

Thank you.

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I'm Asian as well, Chinese to be exact. Arranged marriages were somewhat common in my family's culture. My paternal grandparents are in an arranged marriage. I'm not sure if that's still a big thing over there. I do know that even though the current generation choose whom they marry, many Asian parents still expect to have a say in it. For example, my great aunt and uncle are pretty racist. So when my uncle was dating a white woman, they threatened to disown him if he marries her. Luckily my parents aren't like that.

My parents still would prefer that I marry another Chinese girl, but ultimately it doesn't matter to them as long as she is a Christian. Personally, I'm not sure I'd trust my parents to match me with the right girl. They seem to have a very different perspective of what kind of girl I should go for than I have for myself. I think I am more than capable of deciding that for myself. lol.

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I would actually be very open to it if my family weren't so terrible at matchmaking for me. I mean, people in my family have tried to set me up, and results have been disastrous. My aunt tried to set me up with a woman older than me who was just leaving her multi-year mourning period over her fiance who died in a car accident. My mother tried to set me up with a single mother, claiming it was the only hope I have of having children.

That being said, I've welcomed attempts by people who actually know what I look for in a woman, but they've fallen short. As a practitioner of certain things forbidden in the book of Deuteronomy, I've used other matchmaking methods with extreme success, but I suppose it's a different dynamic altogether when the person matchmaking you isn't human, right?

But to answer your question, I'm theoretically open to it, but I've yet to see anyone do a good job for me.

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