arabella

At what moment did you decide to wait?

8 posts in this topic

I'm really interested in knowing at what moment/event people made the decision to wait, as we often hear about the values that drove people, but not the specific moment when the decision was made.

For me, it was when I was in my Victoria's Secret angels obsessed phase (not so great seeing as I was only 12), and Adriana Lima said she waited, and that's what made me make the decision. It obviously hinges off more than just that now or else it wouldn't be very realistic. It's now a faith-based decision. Who would've thought that a lingerie model would be the reason I decided not to have sex until marriage.

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Being the strong Christian that I am I would always tell people that I was waiting for religion purposes. However I started asking myself is that the only reason I am waiting, and it didn't take long for me to realize it wasn't.

Besides religion the only other good reason I could think of is fear. For example I have a friend who lost her virginity to her serious boyfriend at the time and then a week later they broke, because of that she went into a self blaming depression and didn't talk to me or other friends for almost 2 months. I have another friend who has had many partners and she too has gone through depressive stages and is in therapy for emotion distress and other troubles, because she giving love but not receiving it . Long story short, I don't want to go through something like they did, and I have many other examples of how pre-material sex has both physically, emotionally and mentally harmed people close to me. 

So I decided to wait until marriage because I want to be with some who loves me for me and not just my body. Plus i also think it will build a stronger relationship, because during the dating stage you are getting to know the person on a personal level, their likes, dislikes hobbies, etc, and I feel that all of that is the basis of a strong and healthy relationship and hopefully marriage. 

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I honestly don't know.  As far back as I can remember, into my childhood, it has just always been a part of me -- you don't have sex with a person unless you are married to them.  Even before I knew exactly what sex was (at least the mechanics of it anyway) I was inclined to save it for marriage.  When I began my close intimate walk with God in my early twenties, my already strong stance on waiting strengthened and intensified exponentially.  I turned forty one a couple of weeks ago and am still saving my virginity for when (if) I choose to get married.

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On 8/19/2017 at 6:26 AM, BigMat said:

  When I began my close intimate walk with God in my early twenties, my already strong stance on waiting strengthened and intensified exponentially.  I turned forty one a couple of weeks ago and am still saving my virginity for when (if) I choose to get married.

Wow, this is so encouraging. I salute you BigMat and know that the angels are cheering you on.

#Staying faithful holding on the truth, breaking all ordinances add doing what is right# -singleandforChrist-

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I've always known since childhood. It wasn't until I got older I realized that sex within marriage wasn't the normal, routine thing to do.

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I had always been waiting since I was young but I really started questioning it when I was 21 years old and was getting more dating experience in college. All my friends were doing it with their boyfriends and I always had this pressure. Some people even mocked me for it and I was confused for some time. But I realized I was very sure was when this guy I was seeing was casually hooking up with girls on my campus behind my back. In fact he had a girlfriend in a different state whom now he is married to but still the fact that he was just using girls like that really made me decide that I did not want to lose my virginity. He could have taken my virginity and would have just left me but I am SOO SOO glad that I found out about his girlfriend and his wrongdoings. God saved me even though finding out the truth was very difficult for me. I thought that this person wanted to get to know me but what they really wanted was just my body. After this experience, there were several guys who would show interest and when I would tell them I was waiting, they would all run away.  I have some friends who were sexually active with their boyfriends, were very emotionally involved and now they are not with them. So what was the point of dating ? Having sex and then just moving onto another person ? For most guys, not guys on this website, but I am talking college guys who date a lot or have had a lot of experience, its very easy for them to not be emotionally attached to women and they move on very easily. But for women sex is very emotional, and I didn't want to give a huge part of me to someone who is not going to be there for me longterm. When a guy waits for you, that shows a lot about their character. If they don't wait for and reject you because you want to wait, then you now that sex was the goal for them in the relationship. I did not want to have multiple partners (and getting STDS lol)  and I wanted to respect God with my body. God created sex for marriage and it bring two loved ones closer. Boyfriends don't get husband privileges because they have not committed to you in the eyes of God.

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On 8/18/2017 at 10:04 AM, Kirsten18 said:

Being the strong Christian that I am I would always tell people that I was waiting for religion purposes. However I started asking myself is that the only reason I am waiting, and it didn't take long for me to realize it wasn't.

Besides religion the only other good reason I could think of is fear. For example I have a friend who lost her virginity to her serious boyfriend at the time and then a week later they broke, because of that she went into a self blaming depression and didn't talk to me or other friends for almost 2 months. I have another friend who has had many partners and she too has gone through depressive stages and is in therapy for emotion distress and other troubles, because she giving love but not receiving it . Long story short, I don't want to go through something like they did, and I have many other examples of how pre-material sex has both physically, emotionally and mentally harmed people close to me. 

So I decided to wait until marriage because I want to be with some who loves me for me and not just my body. Plus i also think it will build a stronger relationship, because during the dating stage you are getting to know the person on a personal level, their likes, dislikes hobbies, etc, and I feel that all of that is the basis of a strong and healthy relationship and hopefully marriage. 

I totally understand the whole not just my body thing. Guys they wanna talk to me but when I tell them I am waiting, they are not cool with it. Its so sad and disgusting but the reason people date today is to have sex and not to actually fall in love and get to know the other person and build a stronger friendship and relationship. 

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Ever since I was young, I thought only married people could have babies, and that transitioned into thinking only married people had sex when I learned what it was. Eventually I obviously discovered that not to be the case, but it was still sort of engrained in my brain. Then I read the book “Diary of a Teenage Girl: Becoming Me” by Melody Carlson, and it helped me to realize that waiting is a choice that you have to make and really commit to. That is when I decided that I would officially make that promise to myself and God.

My parents never pushed me one way or another in my decision. In fact, sometimes I felt like my mom was surprised I wanted to wait. It was my decision and I’m so glad I stuck with it.

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