Long-distance relationship?

[Brand0n 8]

Hi everyone!
I was just curious if you have considered potentially dating someone who does not live in the same state/province, perhaps even country as you? 
I feel like that may just be the only way I will ever find someone who is waiting too 

[PG1 1,725]

I did. It may sound odd, but we never met in person. We planned on it, but something happened with him and he ended it. It did work out, but I still think it can if both people want it to and there's a plan to work on being together....however, I would never become official without meeting in person first, again. Long distance is not easy, and not for everyone, but has its benefits.

[BlackRose 156]

I wouldn't and couldn't mainly because of my circumstances. I work in a family business and eventually my brother, sister and I will take it over from our parents. As a result in order for a long distance relationship to work, they would need to be planning to come to live in London, UK at some point or there's no point in us getting involved in anything at all. 

I don't have feelings or time to waste and I certainly wouldn't want to waste their time either.

If it's something that you can do and your lifestyle is flexible enough to accommodate  to that, then I'd say go for it. More and more people are getting involved in long distance relationships and honestly, if it wasn't for that restriction, I'd probably consider it since it does widen the scope of people to date/marry. 

But it certainly is more work and I always try to work smarter, not harder but the best thing to do would be to pray about it if that situation does ever come up  

[Faeries 175]

I would take the chance if I think I may have found a good person, but I'd feel like my relationship was hanging by a thread, just because of the distance. Like any little thing, and poof, that person is gone forever. So many people have stories of being in love online, and the next thing you know it's, "oh, something happened in his/her life." "He's dealing with things." "She just disappeared." Really? That's not a real relationship. Obviously people dating in person can have the same issues, but it just seems like these kinds of relationships have a way of ending for what seems like no apparent reason. If you are in a serious relationship, it doesn't just fade into oblivion.

For me, that person would have to make me feel that they're serious, and of course try to see me somewhat regularly. 

I agree that it does increase our chances greatly. 

[PG1 1,725]

1 hour ago, Faeries said:

Really? That's not a real relationship. Obviously people dating in person can have the same issues,

I have to disagree some here. After what happened to me, I tried to convince myself that it wasn't real. However, my counselor asked me the following question, "Did you love him?" My feelings made it real. Lack of a physical relationship does not diminish a connection that we can call a relationship. If that were the case many people who are waiting for every detail would not be in real relationships until married. What I'm trying to say, and I'm sorry if I'm sounding harsh, is that feelings are what make any relationships 'real'. I could go into a lot of reasons why we were real, or why he ended it, but that's irrelevant. At one point we talked about marrying one day, and moving first to my country and then maybe his, as long as we were together. The point is, physically in contact, or not, relationships have they're problems and it takes both people to work on them. I still wouldn't go into a full relationship without first meeting, again, but I know if it does happen after meeting that there would still be a chance it could end just the same. That's just a risk you take when you think someone is worth trying long distance with.

[Faeries 175]

@PG1, I didn't mean that long distance relationships aren't real, but that if you are long distance and that person has some silly reason to just disappear on you, then I don't consider that real, at least not on their end. Many people use the distance as a way out, before even making it to the point where you can meet each other. IRL, if a man/ womam were to just take off, I think it would be viewed much differently than it is when it happens online. It doesnt seem like the same excuses would be as acceptable. 

I did say that I would give LD a chance, so I don't think it's fake, and I really wasn't trying to imply anything about needing a perfect relationship. I was just saying that it allows people to give up very easily, because they can lie more easily, and they dont have to face you. Honestly, I'm just coming from my own perspective here, and I'm referencing a specific type of situation, that would be hard for me to deal with. Many relationships end for various reasons, so I'm not going to assume that all LD relationships end in the kind of situations I'm talking about. I just think that they are more fragile and very easily broken, simply because of the distance. 

This has never happened to me, but I've seen it quite a bit, and gotten a glimpse of it. I apologize if I made you feel like I was downplaying your relationship. 

 

[Aparajita 34]

I think personally for me long distance would work only I or the other person was moving to the same state or town/city. I am currently not seeing someone right now but if I do want to start dating, I want it to be in the same area.