I feel as I had no other chance than waiting

[Couturiere 3]

Hello,

Firstly, I'm sorry for my English -it's not my native language, and also sorry if I'm writing in the wrong place.

I just need to comment, maybe not even receive a reply -at least I don't expect it, but I hope it is my mood... I'm a 35-years-old girl/woman and I'm about completely loose my selfsteem. I would like to know why a man can feel attraction of a woman, as I never felt so from anybody (I have never been asked for a date or somekind). I guess it's magic... Actually, I came to the conclusion that I don't naturally have anything feminine or nice in me; however I always tried to be positive, so I guess I'm writing cause I think that somebody may say something that makes me understand what I'm doing wrong.

So I'm waiting, but of course not really because I decide to wait, but because I see not chance... And now I'm afraid because I think everyday that passes chances are less for me.

Thanks!

[Faeries 175]

Don't feel bad!  Never having been approached by a man doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you. We are all different, and I've seen so many different kinds of people in relationships. Various features, heights, styles, and all in a seemingly loving relationship. Some women have it easier, but what society as a whole says is beautiful, doesn't matter to every guy out there. Having confidence, and taking care of yourself inside and out is all any of us really needs. It's possible that men are afraid to approach you because you are very beautiful to them. Many women have that problem.

Also, please don't say you'll be a waiter just because you can't find anyone, because that isn't what a waiter is.

[Guest]

So sorry to hear that! Try not to feel sad. There are plenty of reasons why people manage to go through life without being asked out. That doesn't mean you aren't attractive and that men don't find you attractive.

Not dating isn't a sign that you're doing anything "wrong" or lack femininity. There are plenty of girls I've thought were attractive and never asked out over the years. Everyone has their own reasons behind it. The guys that found you attractive might have been too intimidated or nervous to ask you out. They also could have had other priorities that they valued above dating during the time you were available to them.

Intimacy in general requires everything to come together. You're valuable. Now the other component of having a man who notices and is willing to put in the effort to make a relationship happen comes into play. Flirting to put yourself out there to guys that grab your attention might help them make their decision easier too.

1 hour ago, Faeries said:

 It's possible that men are afraid to approach you because you are very beautiful to them. Many women have that problem.

Definitely! There was a girl in church recently that I didn't ask out because she always made me super nervous to be around. I actually spazzed out, got locked in the playpen at church and ended up hoping the 8ft fence because of one woman at the same church. Super embarrassing.

 

Edit: As for waiting not being your choice. Sometimes when God closes a door He opens a window for us. It may not be what we wanted or thought we needed but, it's what He intended. I know I've personally had a couple major doors close on me with regards to career choices that I've spent over a decade preparing for and dreaming about. They're gone now. In its place is something quite a bit more simplistic and I'm sure that God has given me what I needed instead of what I wanted.

[Couturiere 3]

Well, thank you very much for your time and words... I really didn't expect it.

Well, I'm sure I'm doing something wrong: 5 years ago I started to think about my situation and I approched some men, and finally was refused by them (even before a date). So it's clear to me...

So may my problem be that, as you say, many people told me that I'm beautiful, honest and intelligent? But I cannot believe it, as I've even been travelling around the world because of my job/studies and nobody told me anything at all. I have to confess in principle I'm quite assexual or shy anout this topic because of some psichological problems during my childhood, but this is past and always thought I could find someone to share things, life, with.

So I'm really sad not because I cannot find an "official" boyfriend, but just because I have no chance to try... I'm really depressed since almost a year now. I lost my faith, I don't know what to do; I don't even find something good professionnaly or something in me.

Anyway thank you very much.

[Revan 32]

I hope you're doing ok.

[rollygrant 5]

Don't lose hope. I know the right guy will come at the right time. I know your post is months ago, but I wish you already found someone that can make you happy.