Dave1985

Is God Always Testing Those Who Follow Him?

4 posts in this topic

I am doing my best to follow God's Word, which is the primary reason I am waiting.

That having been said, I can't help but think that God intentionally tests/punishes/discourages those who follow Him.

I recognize that waiting is the right thing to do from a religious perspective, and the best all around choice, especially because of the possibility of STDs and pregnancy risks.

But I can't help but wondering if God is somehow punishing the people who follow His Word. I recognize that almost all of the unmarried women from the post-feminist world have sex with guys they are attracted to. I've heard all my life about how women stop having sex with their husbands. I look around and see the massive number of divorced people. All of the divorced men that I work with tell me not to get married. Ever. They've been financially destroyed. They lost all contact with their kids. All kinds of horror stories about the divorce/family courts, and predatory ex-wives.

I am one of the few guys who actually believes in marriage as an ideal. Most of the guys that I know don't want to risk it. They want the option of leaving their girlfriends if she ever stops having sex, or starts making too much drama.

I recognize that I am doing the right thing.

But I also realize that if I wasn't following God's teachings, I wouldn't have to worry about the sexless marriages, because I'd have no motive to get married. I wouldn't have to worry about losing everything in divorce court, because there wouldn't be a sexless wife to hold that power over me. I wouldn't risk massive financial loss because I would remain in control of my finances... I recognize that with the warped parody of civilization that we live in, casual sex makes the most sense for men in almost every area conceivable. It doesn't put your home at risk. It doesn't put your finances at risk. The only downside is the potential of the girlfriend getting pregnant.

I believe in marriage as the ideal. That is my religious belief, and I won't compromise. But I also recognize that from a purely logical, secular, point of view, keeping as much distance between yourself and your girlfriend makes more sense.

It almost feels like God is trying to test or punish me for choosing to follow Him. I won't allow myself to have sex outside of marriage because it is wrong. It results in too much pain, too many unwanted pregnancies, too many STDs, an inability to form loving connections...

But with everything considered... Single women having sex... Married women refusing sex... The divorce rate so high... The thought of losing everything... Marriage doesn't seem worth the risk either...

I feel like I am in a Catch-22... My religious beliefs telling me I can't have sex outside of marriage... And my potential wife telling me I can't have sex while married...

Is this really what God intended for marriage to look like for men who follow His teachings? Did He intentionally make men and women that incompatible?

I'm particularly looking for responses from other Catholics, and women regardless of  their religion. But anybody is free to comment.

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Dave,

I think your post is really very interesting and I was very touched by it. I totally understand your feelings ... even if I don't agree with everything that you said.

3 hours ago, Dave1985 said:

I am doing my best to follow God's Word, which is the primary reason I am waiting.

And I think this is truly admirable and I encourage you to continue to do so. You will never regret to do something to honor God.

3 hours ago, Dave1985 said:

That having been said, I can't help but think that God intentionally tests/punishes/discourages those who follow Him.

Well, I have to confess that I laughed a little while reading this quote above:P

I'm surprised that you think like that... I mean... that's true that God puts to test  those who serve Him and try to obey Him, from time to time... But His intentions are always pure and filled with love. He doesn't want to discourage those who follow Him. On the contrary... He really wants to fill His children, followers with Love, joy, peace and all the good stuff that He has in store !

As a father has compassion on his children,so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him; Psaume 103v13

But that's true that the ennemy, the devil wants to destroy the faith of all the believers in Jesus. He wants them to stop putting their love and faith in God when times and seasons in life are hard.

That's why it's important to decide to stick to Jesus, no matter what happens in life.

Just today, I read something, and I think it's an appropriate answer to your interrogations. I quote :

"if I do things right – God will “owe me” and I will never have to suffer (I can control God.  I can earn His love and a wonderful life by my definition).

God values suffering when it is for His glory. God promises that we will suffer in this life.  Jesus suffered as an example for us.  And God wants to use suffering to make us more like Jesus.  My life will have suffering.  But God’s promise is that He will be there to empower me to endure and that He will teach me and make me more like Jesus.  I will learn the most during my times of suffering if I will listen for God’s voice. " From Peaceful SingleGirl  https://peacefulsinglegirl.wordpress.com/2013/02/21/expectations-part-2/

3 hours ago, Dave1985 said:

I recognize that almost all of the unmarried women from the post-feminist world have sex with guys they are attracted to. I've heard all my life about how women stop having sex with their husbands. I look around and see the massive number of divorced people. All of the divorced men that I work with tell me not to get married. Ever. They've been financially destroyed. They lost all contact with their kids. All kinds of horror stories about the divorce/family courts, and predatory ex-wives.

Unfortunately, I live in the same world as yourself... :( And I realised many of those awful things happen indeed... This is really heartbreaking and I have no words for that... We live in a sinful world, many have rejected God and His principles and those things you described  are the really sad consequences of that unwise rejection.

 

3 hours ago, Dave1985 said:

I am one of the few guys who actually believes in marriage as an ideal.

And that's absolutely awesome ! There are women with high standards who want to marry a man like you ! Don't give up your values and standards ...because of what you see.. I can totally understand your feelings of discouragement  and disappointment towards this...I confess it happens to me sometimes... But I know that God has nothing to do with that darkness.

 

3 hours ago, Dave1985 said:

Is this really what God intended for marriage to look like for men who follow His teachings? Did He intentionally make men and women that incompatible?

So, after what I wrote, I think you can guess that my answer to those questions are : absolutely not.

I really understand you and want to give you plenty of sincere encouragement... I hope my answers have helped you in some way

And I share with you those quote from a christian married woman  below and really hope they will help you :

"Marriage  CAN be very romantic sometimes.  But it is not Hollywood.   And it can be and will be excruciatingly painful other times.  It will not follow a carefully scripted movie plot line.  When we expect men to act the way they do in romantic chick-flicks (which are often written by women) – we are buying into a fantasy that completely warps real masculinity.  We set up false expectations for our men when we consume these things. If watching romantic movies, reading romantic books and listening to love songs creates discontentment in you – romance may be an idol and it is time to stop watching and listening to these things and time to focus on Jesus and His love.

 Paul says that those who have married will have much trouble in this life.  Marriage does not solve nearly as many problems as it creates!  Marriage is a gift and a blessing.  God designed it to demonstrate His love and relationship with His people.  But in a marriage between two sinners – there is MUCH TROUBLE.  Expect that.  Be prepared for it.  Don’t complain and argue.  Be ready to give grace and to roll with reality and be flexible.  Your way is not the most important thing.  God’s will is the most important thing!

The loneliness that happens sometimes in marriage is a loneliness that far exceeds (in my view) the loneliness of being single.  There are times that we will be lonely, VERY lonely in our marriages.  I believe that is our cue to look to Jesus.  Our husbands will fail us.  But Jesus never will.  When I keep my heart set completely on Jesus alone – I will find the belonging, the security, the peace, the love, the acceptance and companionship I so desperately long for."

To read more : https://peacefulsinglegirl.wordpress.com/2013/02/21/expectations-part-2/

 

 

 

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Awakening things you shared Dave, I like the responses given by both Geraldine and Adam - I salute you all for standing for the truth.

Dave the truth stems from the Word of God, this is what builds us and I agree your concerns are sounding but these are the voices so loud that are pulling many away from the truth. these people facing these things were at some point innocent, but these voices sounded louder than the truth and those cases you see are the pits the evil one has placed them.

I know that God tests us to great lengths and some places may be discomforting but 1 Corinthians 10: 13 No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.

There is this saying by one of God;s generals, "Trust and Obey God, leave the consequences to Him". As we stand for what is true, we trust He is working for us and will even in our marriages, I want to stop here because much has been covered by the 2. I always meditate on this verse when the world is drumming its ways louder.

Philippians 4:8  Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.

Our lives are and will be different from what the world has painted.

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8 hours ago, Theo said:

Awakening things you shared Dave, I like the responses given by both Geraldine and Adam - I salute you all for standing for the truth.

Dave the truth stems from the Word of God, this is what builds us and I agree your concerns are sounding but these are the voices so loud that are pulling many away from the truth. these people facing these things were at some point innocent, but these voices sounded louder than the truth and those cases you see are the pits the evil one has placed them.

I know that God tests us to great lengths and some places may be discomforting but 1 Corinthians 10: 13 No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.

There is this saying by one of God;s generals, "Trust and Obey God, leave the consequences to Him". As we stand for what is true, we trust He is working for us and will even in our marriages, I want to stop here because much has been covered by the 2. I always meditate on this verse when the world is drumming its ways louder.

Philippians 4:8  Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.

Our lives are and will be different from what the world has painted.

Thank you very much Theo :) I'm grateful for your sincere appreciation

the verses you shared are really deep and very edifying.

I agree 100% with everything you said

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