Phoenix25

Marrying a 16 Year Old Girl?

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Doug Hutchinson, age 51, married Courtney Stodden, age 16. That was a few to several years ago. Doug Hutchinson had two previous marriages. He received the parental permission of Courtney's parents and their relationship had no sex, so when Doug Hutchinson married Courtney Stodden she was a virgin.

 

Relating to that news story, I would like to ask what you think about a different but similar hypothetical scenario:

A man aged 25+ to date a girl around age 16 and marry her? (In this hypothetical assume the man is age 28 or 30 or 32, so the man is towards the younger end of age 25+)

1. Assume The guy receives parental permission to date the girl

2. Assume that the relationship would be platonic until marriage. Absolutely no sex until marriage. Only some kisses and hugs when dating

3. Assume the girl would be getting a husband that cares about her and respects her, and the man would most likely be getting a virgin bride.

4. Assume the man is a virgin and never had any relationship with a girl, and never had sex, so the man is a virgin. He wants to know what it's like to be in a relationship that he never had when he was in high school so he wants to marry a girl that age who is a virgin.

 

Acceptable or unacceptable?

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Completely unacceptable. I do not care about the specifics, an adult being in a romantic and/or sexual relationship with a minor is depraved. 

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Perverted.

6 hours ago, Phoenix25 said:

, so when Doug Hutchinson married Courtney Stodden she was a virgin.

 

Incredibly naïve given her appearance and decision the prostitute herself out to an old man. Nothing but a whore. I couldn't find a single picture of the couple where she wasn't making that known to everyone within sight.

I'm not against age gaps (between adults) as my parents are 10+ years apart. The difference is their relationship wasn't built around a hymen or getting into the acting world. Neither of which make for successful marriages.

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Personally, I feel there are acceptable age gaps, and unacceptable, but those also depend on WHEN the gap is taking place. For example, if I'm 18, 30 would be too old, but if I'm 35, 47 might not be a bad difference (personally, it's different for everyone). There was a time when a 13 year old might marry a 50 year old, and it was acceptable, but those times have gone. We live in a time when we encourage children to be children, and that's really the way it should be. Back in the days when women married so young it was mostly because people grew up so fast, and lived shorter lives. So, that being said, I'd be more inclined to blame the parents for allowing it, than the child...after all, we don't even fully develop psychologically until approximately the age of 25. Which makes most people who make really intelligent decisions at young ages seem odd and like outcasts. Most teenagers can't remember WHY they did something, but can recall HOW it made them feel and what they were feeling when deciding to do it.

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No. Just no.

If you are considering this because you fear you won't be able to find a virgin unless she is very young, then you really need to stop and reevaluate your thinking. It would be unfair, wrong, and gross to tie a child to you for life, so that you don't have to put the effort in to find someone your age to date and marry. It's also selfish. Finding a life partner is about more than just getting a virgin bride, but that seems to be the only thing you are fixated on. Maybe thinking a little more about the other things that are important to you might help you to find someone in a healthier manner.

Also, not having sex with a minor before marriage doesn't suddenly make it acceptable to marry and have sex with them. 

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It's definitely unacceptable. At least it's unacceptable in the modern world. I know that type of thing used to be commonplace, and it actually still is in other countries/cultures. Still, it'll never sit right with me. I know I've talked a lot about wanting to marry another virgin, but I'm not so desperate about it that I would be willing to do something as absurd as that, nor do I think that anybody else here would be either. I'm not even 25 yet, but that doesn't make it any less gross. Personally I'm not too big on age gaps in general. I don't think there is anything wrong with some age difference, provided it's between two consenting adults. I'd just prefer to be with someone my age or close to it.

The first two things you listed might make it legally acceptable, but I doubt many people will see it as socially acceptable. Point three doesn't seem possible to me, I don't see how a grown man could respect this girl if he is so quick to snatch her up, taking away the freedom of her youth and forcing her to deal with the social scrutinies that come with that kind of relationship. It's obviously only for his own benefit, not hers. A 16 year old isn't even remotely close to being physically and emotionally mature, they would still have a ton of development to go through and having to stack the responsibilities of marriage on top all of that sounds like a total disaster waiting to happen. The 16 year old's consent would be irrelevant, you can't just assume that a minor would be able to rationally comprehend and intelligently deduce that such a marriage would be a good idea. As for point four, I have no desire to address that because I would never sympathize with a guy who is willing to marry a minor.

Of course, all of this gets a bit more complicated if the girl in question started at 18 instead. At that point, she is legally an adult and can do whatever she wants. Personally I still think a typical 18 year old isn't mature enough, but in the eyes of the law, they are. While a 16 year old marrying a 50 year old is undeniably wrong, an 18 year old marrying a 50 year old is really just weird, since it's technically allowed. Though both of those scenarios endlessly disturb me. A 25 year old marrying an 16 year old is still wrong, but compared to a 50 year old doing it, I guess it's less offensive? :huh: Like a 27 year old marrying an 18 year old doesn't sound that weird. That sounds like I'm invalidating the severity of the situation though. Eh, I don't know. All I know is that I wouldn't do it, and I wouldn't condone other people doing it.

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On 7/7/2017 at 0:09 PM, Adam said:

Of course, all of this gets a bit more complicated if the girl in question started at 18 instead. At that point, she is legally an adult and can do whatever she wants. Personally I still think a typical 18 year old isn't mature enough, but in the eyes of the law, they are. While a 16 year old marrying a 50 year old is undeniably wrong, an 18 year old marrying a 50 year old is really just weird, since it's technically allowed. Though both of those scenarios endlessly disturb me. A 25 year old marrying an 16 year old is still wrong, but compared to a 50 year old doing it, I guess it's less offensive? :huh:Like a 27 year old marrying an 18 year old doesn't sound that weird. That sounds like I'm invalidating the severity of the situation though. Eh, I don't know. All I know is that I wouldn't do it, and I wouldn't condone other people doing it.

But the studies show that most girls in every White (or Asian) nation lose their virginity between 16-18 years of age so most are not virgins by age 19. A tiny minority are but not enough where it's any more than luck that would help a guy meet a girl that's a virgin.

 

This news article has a partial map of the world but it's incorrect. The dates for some countries are higher by at about 1 year than they should be. It's only 1 chart with inaccuracies. 

The US should have the same color code as Russia and Brazil. I think Japan's seems +1 too high also. China's seems mostly accurate.

https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/1861997/brazilians-do-it-youngest-and-brits-at-18-according-to-world-map-showing-average-age-people-lose-their-virginity/

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On 7/4/2017 at 0:35 PM, Amarillo said:

I'm not against age gaps (between adults) as my parents are 10+ years apart. The difference is their relationship wasn't built around a hymen or getting into the acting world. Neither of which make for successful marriages.

Marrying a virgin actually makes the marriage more likely to last. 

Heritage.jpg

http://socialpathology.blogspot.com/2012/03/promiscuity-data-guest-post.html

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1 hour ago, Phoenix25 said:

Marrying a virgin actually makes the marriage more likely to last. 

Heritage.jpg

http://socialpathology.blogspot.com/2012/03/promiscuity-data-guest-post.html

He was saying that marrying someone strictly on the criteria of being a virgin will not make for a successful marriage. He also didn't say anything about divorce. You can be married and be unhappy. You are searching for someone way too young, because you want a virgin. Someone who is likely immature/ and or has not had the chance to experience life and make their own decisions as an adult as you have, which is unfair.

And your logic is flawed. You are looking for virgins, not waiters. These girls haven't had sex, but the majority will want to, and will have premarital sex eventually. They would not want to be with you anyway, because they won't value WTM. So your options are still as limited as they are if you just find another adult who is actually a waiter.

And this brings me to why I am so bothered by what you're asking here. The most likely scenario in which you'd get what you want is by "catching" an impressionable, naive, and immature young girl before she makes the decision to have sex, and basically grooming her to be your wife. Please just find someone who is at least an adult.

I want to reiterate my point that you aren't really increasing your chances by much. Virgin does not equal waiter. So your odds are pretty much the same unless you resort to control and manipulation of a young mind, and it seems like that's what you're betting on. I'm not trying to insult you, or imply that you are a bad person or a predator, but if you do this then, in my opinion, you would be. Also, I'm not here to go back and fourth with anyone about the subjectivity of morality or how this is or could somehow be morally acceptable.

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On 7/4/2017 at 0:35 PM, Amarillo said:

Nothing but a whore. I couldn't find a single picture of the couple where she wasn't making that known to everyone within sight.

This is kind of off topic, and I don't know anything about these people; but I imagine her husband has a strong influence on her choice of attire, especially if she married at such an impressionable age. It may be more a matter of her husband wanting to "show her off" than her choosing to dress like a "whore." Her husband may also have been her only partner for all we know. She may have presented herself differently before his presence in her life. I'm just hesitant to draw any conclusions about anything aside from an inappropriate marriage and potentially a desire for attention.

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32 minutes ago, redgrapes said:

This is kind of off topic, and I don't know anything about these people; but I imagine her husband has a strong influence on her choice of attire, especially if she married at such an impressionable age. It may be more a matter of her husband wanting to "show her off" than her choosing to dress like a "whore." Her husband may also have been her only partner for all we know. She may have presented herself differently before his presence in her life. I'm just hesitant to draw any conclusions about anything aside from an inappropriate marriage and potentially a desire for attention.

I followed the relationship between Doug Hutchinson and Courtney Stodden since it made the news. He was her only partner until they took a "break" then got back together because Courtney realized that Doug Hutchinson was the guy she wanted to be with. Their break only lasted about 1 year and she was about 19 when she took that break. She was home-schooled after leaving high school because she was bullied, apparently for having a large breast size according to some of the articles and interviews. She met Doug Hutchinson online when he was instructing online acting classes. Their relationship started online and Courtney's parents watched the chat. Doug kept everything clean and respectful, and Courtney's parents approved of the marriage. Courtney did make some negative choices after age 18 like breast augmentation and that 1 year break, but she went back to Doug Hutchinson because he was the guy she wanted to be with (and being her first guy ever also probably helped Courtney to go back to Doug since the "first" is always special). 

 

One thing though is that in many countries usually a girl has sex because they still believe the guy will eventually marry them. In America, like most of the West, sex has become mostly recreational and mostly done for fun. I wouldn't ever attempt to court a girl below age 18 in America because I know it's socially unacceptable and individual freedoms usually trump marital commitment among many young women. But I also wouldn't ever court a girl above 18 because I don't play odds that aren't in my favor.

 

Someplace like Russia or Belarus for a White Girl around Courtney's age would be odds worth playing to try to get a girl that's a virgin. In many non-Western nations, girls still marry young. I know many Russian girls that marry at age 19 and 20, but almost all Russian girls are married between 18-24. Some even are married and have two children by age 21. So it's much different than American or Western culture in some regards. Late marriage ages don't help and neither does the lust-promoting pop-culture/media in the West. There are more virgins at age 18 and 19 in Russia than there are in America which is likely due to the media and how sex in the West is mostly recreational/fun.

 

I've talked with a someone elsewhere online who knows a Japanese guy who when he was 24 dated a Japanese girl who was age 16 or 17, along with a some European girl that was age 17. Both those girls were virgins but they ended up breaking up cheated on him and losing their virginity, probably because he wasn't willing to propose to them. The European girl was from one of the northern European countries and she told him that if he wanted her virginity, he should have just asked her to have sex. 

 

I also don't see a problem with marrying a girl before she has the chance to decide whether to lose her virginity before or after marriage, because if anything, marrying a girl when she's a virgin and hasn't made that decision saves her from partaking in sin (fornication) and also would ensure that she would get a husband that respects her and value her. 

 

Waiting is fine but I'd rather marry a virgin that isn't waiting until marriage, rather than a non-virgin that decided to wait until marriage. I'd also personally want to marry a girl that is closer to age 20 rather than age 30 or older. 

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Why in the world would ANY sane man of 28 want to marry someone 16 years old? Does he not realize that he will essentially have to function as a parental figure, helping her navigate adulthood and grow up? A man of 28 with a 16 year old bride would have a partner who is not a fully-fledged adult and he would not have a wife who is an equal intellectual, mature individual. This man would have to shoulder all the adult responsibilities and would not have an equal partnership where both parties are contributing. Don't you realize how boring and tiring it would be to be married to someone that young and immature without any life experience? I know a 28 year old who married an 18 year old and they were divorced within 2 years. I am not certain of all the reasons why but I know that her immaturity and the big age gap was a huge problem. She had never worked full time or lived on her own before and he had to essentially parent her and take on most of the adult roles in the relationship. The only reason a man WOULD marry someone this young is because he has major control issues and wants some pliant young thing that he can domineer and mold. 

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On 7/8/2017 at 7:02 PM, Phoenix25 said:

Someplace like Russia or Belarus for a White Girl around Courtney's age would be odds worth playing to try to get a girl that's a virgin.

Ha. Unlikely given their stats on HIV, prostitution, alcoholism, and drug use. Russian/Ukrainian girls get trafficked all over the world for their bodies.

On 7/8/2017 at 7:02 PM, Phoenix25 said:

There are more virgins at age 18 and 19 in Russia than there are in America which is likely due to the media and how sex in the West is mostly recreational/fun.

Highly unlikely. Given a source, even trusting Russian stats, I'd still say the same. Remember, America has a significant black and Hispanic population which breeds like no other so if we're comparing white girl to white girl or asian to asian we'd definitely come out ahead. Poverty is an indicator of promiscuity and Russian definitely has it. As someone who immersed myself in it to learn the language, Russian media is very sexual. Full nudity is pretty common in music videos of a lot of the teenybopper artists that are from there. It's definitely focused on recreational sex and drugs. Russia is a very western country and communism sought out to destroy traditional gender roles as it did in the US. When a Russian girl says she wants a traditional marriage she means she doesn't want to work and be pampered. It has nothing to do with donning and apron and doing housework. It's an oligarch mentality that they ALL have. Even the Russian/Ukrainian men I work with on campus are the same.

It's unrealistic to assume someone from thousands of miles away living a completely different life and language will have the same expectations you will. Especially when she is bailing on her culture to get a better life in the EU/Anglo-sphere. That's not a nurturing trait in any shape or form. It's kind of sad really as most are extreme type A personality wise and the guys that go there get absolutely walked over because they're desperate.

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On 8/30/2017 at 5:00 PM, Amarillo said:

Ha. Unlikely given their stats on HIV, prostitution, alcoholism, and drug use. Russian/Ukrainian girls get trafficked all over the world for their bodies.

Highly unlikely. Given a source, even trusting Russian stats, I'd still say the same. Remember, America has a significant black and Hispanic population which breeds like no other so if we're comparing white girl to white girl or asian to asian we'd definitely come out ahead. Poverty is an indicator of promiscuity and Russian definitely has it. As someone who immersed myself in it to learn the language, Russian media is very sexual. Full nudity is pretty common in music videos of a lot of the teenybopper artists that are from there. It's definitely focused on recreational sex and drugs. Russia is a very western country and communism sought out to destroy traditional gender roles as it did in the US. When a Russian girl says she wants a traditional marriage she means she doesn't want to work and be pampered. It has nothing to do with donning and apron and doing housework. It's an oligarch mentality that they ALL have. Even the Russian/Ukrainian men I work with on campus are the same.

It's unrealistic to assume someone from thousands of miles away living a completely different life and language will have the same expectations you will. Especially when she is bailing on her culture to get a better life in the EU/Anglo-sphere. That's not a nurturing trait in any shape or form. It's kind of sad really as most are extreme type A personality wise and the guys that go there get absolutely walked over because they're desperate.

I don't think race has anything to do with losing virginity. There's really not much difference excluding race between a White girl or a Black girl in America except more Black American Girls have STDs and become single teen mothers compared to White American girls. Asians are a tiny minority of most American states except the West Coast and maybe New York. Asians in Asia have higher rates of virginity. Nationality doesn't even have much to do with losing virginity either since the debauchery was exported and like a virus it infected the entire world. All non-virgins that engaged in fornication are like hyper-sexual zombies with no shame, no self-restraint, and no virtue. 

To be honest, I wouldn't want a wife that works. I'd rather she just focus on keeping herself beautiful and exercising in a home-gym to stay fit and toned. I'd also move to her country to be with her, that way I would know she's a good girl and not interested in moving to America. A girl that wants to stay in her country would be closer to her family and prove she's not after a US Green Card. Russian girls also start university at age 17.

 

Promiscuity is common and should be expected now in unmarried women over the age of 18 or 19 because the "Sexual Revolution" was exported by America/West Europe to the entire world. Communism and Feminism are different segments of the same umbrella, so of course many women in Russian are just as corrupted/tainted because of Communism as American women that were ruined by feminism, but they still believe in marriage. Poverty might have an increase in promiscuity but it would also make a girl more willing to enter a marriage at a young age to an older man, in exchange for financial security and safety. I talk with Russian girls online and one of the major differences is that most divorces in America are initiated by American Women while most divorces in Russia are initiated by Russian men. Both America and Russia have an extremely high divorce rate, but there's a major difference in what gender wants the divorce.

 

Maslow's Hierarchy, sociology, psychology, diplomacy, and knowing how to really enchant a girl would make for a smooth path from getting the girl to marrying the girl and keeping the girl. If she's a virgin and the only guy she's been with is the guy she marries, then odds are that she'll stay with him. If she doesn't work and comes from a less well to do family or working poor family, it would be even better because she would appreciate every material thing the guy provides her with. 

 

Every relationship has one person who wields more power. The only question is what person that will be. Upper-class and rich girls tend to lose virginity more often because they have the money and can easily get whatever they want in life, regardless of being married or not and would always have more power than any guy in a relationship. That's why in countries like America, Canada, UK, France, Sweden, or wherever else with high-incomes and working women, its the women who start at least 70% of the divorces and can cheat with impunity and men wield much less power. The same is not true in low or middle income nations where many girls come from poor or working class families. The main thing though is the man must get the girl before she becomes tainted because fornication destroys a girl's ability to bond and be a good, loyal wife. Unlike what the popular politically-correct belief in the West that claims a man and woman are the same, fornication effects men and women differently. Fornication is bad for both but more damaging to a female. That's why for most of history for the men that did fornicate, there were brothels with whores. The rest of the women of society looked down upon whores and families would disown fornicating daughters because they brought shame and dishonor to their family. Good men could marry good, virtuous women. Not so today. In many countries the brothels were ended and in the 1950s-1960s with condoms, abortion, and then the subsequent Sexual Revolution, the majority of regular women in society have becomes whores and the mass media that promotes debauchery has also infected the minds of men who accept whores, marry whores, and even idolize whores. 

 

There is no such thing as equality in any relationship or even in the real world. Equality is an egalitarian fantasy part of the same sweet delusional lies like Western democracy. There will always be someone more powerful than another person, whether its in a relationship or out in the world. It's nature and all part of the natural order. Besides, it's better to have keep a beautiful bird in a gilded cage than let the world destroy that beautiful bird, like the world does to so many which is why marriage, society, and even religion is dying as the nations in the world fall one by one to economic, moral, political, and social ruin. That's why I would do whatever it took to get a 16 year old wife, so I could have a princess-quality girl that brightens my life, and I could improve her life and save her from the evils of the modern world. 

 

HIV is something that should increase in prevalence. The more fornicators that get infected, the number of immoral people that die off, enforcing fear upon the rest of humanity to live their lives without fornicating or committing adultery. I hope that in America and Europe and every white country, by 2030 HIV rates rise to those in Africa, so people begin to turn away from fornication. A blight upon the immoral and wicked. 

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And countries like Russia or Belarus or Ukraine don't have disgusting magazines like Teen Vogue that exist in America....

Watch the video to see what I'm talking about, but you'll need to remove the spaces. www.youtube.com/watch?  v=39Z5xC8rpQw

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17 hours ago, Phoenix25 said:

because fornication destroys a girl's ability to bond and be a good, loyal wife.

Bullshit

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On 9/6/2017 at 0:10 AM, Phoenix25 said:

HIV is something that should increase in prevalence. The more fornicators that get infected, the number of immoral people that die off, enforcing fear upon the rest of humanity to live their lives without fornicating or committing adultery. I hope that in America and Europe and every white country by 2030 HIV rates rise to those in Africa, so people begin to turn away from fornication. A blight upon the immoral and wicked. 

Oh yes because wishing a mass death and disease on people isn't "immoral and wicked."

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