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Sarah Elizabeth

Waiting Until Marriage Video

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This is a video I came across and thought it had very valid points for waiting until marriage. If you're new or on the fence about waiting, hopefully this video will show you why waiting is such a good idea. For those who have been waiting for years, hopefully it will reassure you that you made the right decision. I found it to be a very inspirational and motivating video, so I hope you will take the time to watch and enjoy it as well. :)

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Wow this is super fascinating. Excellent find Sarah. I'd never heard anybody talk about the imprinting thing before. I've always felt like that was true but it's really cool to see somebody actually discuss this and back it up. :)

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This is a fantastic video!!! Thanks for sharing! I like how he includes how not waiting can affect you psychologically and physically too. For those not for waiting, it would probably help his case to cite more, you know, seem more credible. Anyway, while that encourages me to wait, I still struggle with it. I feel like I'm in the minority of women, but I feel like I have a high sex drive...like when I'm married 4/5 times a week would be 'normal'. How do I deal with this before marriage ?!

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Sally,

Well first off, how old are you? If you don't mind my asking, that is.

But yes, the high sex drive thing I would definitely see as an obstacle. Imagine this journey for men, who crave sex more than women in most cases. Think of it like your favourite food in the whole world. You want it SO bad, so bad that sometimes you want to try a little taste, but end up eating the whole thing. So I wouldn't recommend tasting ;) But when you finally have that food, after so long of craving and wanting, it tastes a THOUSAND times better. If you crave something and get it within a few minutes, it's good. But when you crave it and wait for a day, it's great. So imagine waiting years for something you want so badly. Keep in mind how much your husband will love you for it. And how much you love him and want only him to have that intimate part of you. Having a high sex drive is great! Because then you know your sex life won't be a dud after marriage(although, when you start to talk about marriage with a man I would recommend talking about sex and see if he has a high sex drive as well, if not this could cause future problems where you aren't satisfied). I mean of course, there is always masturbation if you REALLY feel the need, but some religions do consider this sin. So I would do that as absolute last result if you think you were about to give in to your promise to yourself due to sex drive. Just hang in there, don't give up. Your husband will respect you so much for your self control to save something so special for him.

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I still struggle with it. I feel like I'm in the minority of women, but I feel like I have a high sex drive...like when I'm married 4/5 times a week would be 'normal'. How do I deal with this before marriage ?!

I sure hope that not only a minority of women have a high sex drive. :( There is of course emotional attachment which can be a large contributor to that though. :) One day you're going to have a very happy husband.

Imagine this journey for men, who crave sex more than women in most cases.

You know, surprisingly it's not super difficult. The difficult part comes when we're dating someone. In that situation it gets really easy to start pushing boundaries. Oh just a little bit of this is ok once in a while, ok maybe a little more...and pretty soon things are spiraling rapidly out of control! If I'm not in a relationship though it's not a bit deal. Unless I'm emotionally attached to someone there's not a whole lot of risk.

I would recommend talking about sex and see if he has a high sex drive as well

Usually you'll be able to gauge this just based on the physical interaction you do have, e.g. making out. It never hurts to talk about it though!

there is always masturbation if you REALLY feel the need

I typically don't talk about this because I feel like it's intensely personal, but Sarah is right. As humans, particularly humans that are waiting for marriage to have sex, there can be a lot of frustration surrounding sexual release. Our sexual desire comes from the same part of our brain as hunger so that should give you an indication of how powerful this drive can be. If you aren't opposed to masturbation for religious reasons or otherwise this can be a useful outlet to keep you sane until the honeymoon. :lol:

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Sarah: I'm almost 21 and in college. I agree with the hunger analogy. I have given things up before for Lent and it has been amazing when I finally get it again!!

Leo: I say that I feel I am in the minority of women because I am a member of an advice thing online/have read relationship books and it seems that an issue that comes up is 'the shoulder tap' where husband initiate something and wife gives him the cold shoulder or she doles out sex at her discretion. I think the second is bizarre--if I"m finally married and can literally do whatever I want then yayy!! I mean, I can understand once in awhile being too tired or whatnot, but more the majority of the time shouldn't be any problem...

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I'm not too much of a fan of masturbation, due to the fact that it creates negative feelings towards one sexuality, etc., especially when used to wait. And I'm one who has fallen into this habit and have struggled to break with it. There has to be some other way, in my opinion. Fasting has been recommended, as it apparently lowers one's libido (at least temporarily). Any other ideas? Oh, and funny thing my dad has given a lot of the same advice as the guy in the video, lol...

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Tempest Desh: I have fallen into the same habit as you and struggle to break it as well. It's difficult because there is no forseeable future with someone where I can be like in x months/years or whatever. I could be married at 24 or I could be at 30...kinda scares me, so I don't try to think about it. I am very independent and have awesome friends so that helps but not with the whole sexual part =/

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*Hugs* Just hang in there. I've had to train myself...but it gets tiring, especially when I have tons of other things to concern myself with...dunno when/if I'll ever be married, as it always seems like there's something in my way (I don't have a degree, lots of money, etc...and I seriously think that I suffer from clinical depression or something akin to it...not sure though...prolly just some phase I'm going through, feeling bored and down). Just gotta find something that makes you happy till then. Right now it's a girl in my English class. Just being around her/getting to talk to her, lifts my mood significantly. Not sure if I'd get to marry her...kinda afraid to try that approach, lol...we're both Muslim and she seems like such a good match...but, I'd hate to hear another 'No', especially from someone like her. Just seems like if I were married, I'd be so much more motivated, lol. Prolly just delusions...but, anywho, all I'm saying is you're not alone...

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Thanks for sharing this! I loved his reasoning and theories but most of all, I loved his sense of humor.

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TD: Yeah, that helps. I do have a guy friend that always cheers me up even though he doesn't know he is. Just talking/hanging out with him boosts my mood too. =) So, I get what you mean there.

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This video was great! Really inspiring, comical and had some great points in it! Thanks for the great find!

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