hirax

People say I am pretty but never approached

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I am 22 and I am never approached by men. I live in America where men are notorious for approaching women. Yet, strangers (both men and women) tell me that I am beautiful/pretty. I talked to a guy and he assumed I had a boyfriend, when I said no, he was in shock. He said I am a very beautiful girl and that he sees ugly women with bfs all the time. Yet, I am confused as to why men never seem to approach me in public anywhere or ask me out? Only sometimes guys look at me but nothing else happens. I have only been approached maybe one time in public like 5 years ago by an older guy who told I was beautiful. Not even creepy or weird guys approach me but I don't go to bars or clubs. Do any other women have this problem of being told they are attractive but not approached by men? What is wrong with me if I am supposedly pretty but no guys are approaching me?  

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Hey lovely Hirax, I really feel you...and I understand how you might feel....because as women, we really were meant to feel cherished, desired and seen as beautiful. That' s how God has designed us. 

And the husband God wants to give us will do all those things to us: he will cherish us, desire us and find us beautiful...

I don't know if you're a believer but...I am... :D  and will answer from this perspective :)

Biblically speaking, Jesus is our fiancé and spiritually He is the  One who cherishes us, desires us and sees us as beautiful (we are the bride of Christ) 

I understand you might feel confused about this, but remember that God wants to protect you from the wrong kind of attention...so sometimes, if you feel ignored by guy, see this as a protection from God who will draw to you the right guy at the right moment... there's nothing wrong with you :)

I'm not sure that I have helped, but I've tried :P

In the videos below they explain best my point of view

 

 

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11 hours ago, hirax said:

I am 22 and I am never approached by men. I live in America where men are notorious for approaching women. Yet, strangers (both men and women) tell me that I am beautiful/pretty. I talked to a guy and he assumed I had a boyfriend, when I said no, he was in shock. He said I am a very beautiful girl and that he sees ugly women with bfs all the time. Yet, I am confused as to why men never seem to approach me in public anywhere or ask me out? Only sometimes guys look at me but nothing else happens. I have only been approached maybe one time in public like 5 years ago by an older guy who told I was beautiful. Not even creepy or weird guys approach me but I don't go to bars or clubs. Do any other women have this problem of being told they are attractive but not approached by men? What is wrong with me if I am supposedly pretty but no guys are approaching me?  

If you change men/guys to women/girls then the story could have been one I wrote. Except for the older man part. Older women hit on me all the time. :lol: I think Geraldine is spot on in saying God protects us from people who would do us harm. IE: guys who comment on how physical beauty relates on how people experience partnership. A lot of people who have low standards for maintaining their health also have low standards regarding sex/drugs/alcohol and other things so it's only natural that things the world says people need to feel complete come easier to them. It might not even be that. He could have been making an observation about only physical traits society associates with beauty, makeup, attire, build, etc and completely ignored women who were beautiful in be chaste, kindness, compassion, or other areas a Christian would recognize.

Sometimes it isn't even the other person but ourselves. I look back at some of the women I really wanted to approach and never did, a lot of times I can recognize that I was nowhere near being in a position to entertain a relationship so failing in that area wasn't really a failure at all. This is a really good Psalm as it specifically points God's willingness to protect us not only from sin, but from people who are sinners. It's an important distinction as it represents the external and internal struggle Christians experience.

Psalm 141King James Version (KJV)

141 Lord, I cry unto thee: make haste unto me; give ear unto my voice, when I cry unto thee.

2 Let my prayer be set forth before thee as incense; and the lifting up of my hands as the evening sacrifice.

3 Set a watch, O Lord, before my mouth; keep the door of my lips.

4 Incline not my heart to any evil thing, to practise wicked works with men that work iniquity: and let me not eat of their dainties.

5 Let the righteous smite me; it shall be a kindness: and let him reprove me; it shall be an excellent oil, which shall not break my head: for yet my prayer also shall be in their calamities.

6 When their judges are overthrown in stony places, they shall hear my words; for they are sweet.

7 Our bones are scattered at the grave's mouth, as when one cutteth and cleaveth wood upon the earth.

8 But mine eyes are unto thee, O God the Lord: in thee is my trust; leave not my soul destitute.

9 Keep me from the snares which they have laid for me, and the gins of the workers of iniquity.

10 Let the wicked fall into their own nets, whilst that I withal escape.

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I had that "problem" when I was single. My friends and family and even people I randomly meet would tell me how pretty I was and how guys would like some of my physical attributes but I would never get approached by a guy. They would approach my friends and flirt with them right in front of me but never me. 

My fiance had a theory that it was because I gave off a very "good girl" vibe by the way I talk, walk, and what I wear so most guys assumed (correctly) that I would not sleep with them and a lot of guys don't want a relationship and especially not with a girl they just met. Since, I was/am shy not many men got to know me. Most of the ones that did, liked me at some point so I'm sure it's the same kind of thing in your situation.

Wait for the right guy and it probably won't be the random guy on the street hitting on you. Lol 

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