DHZ

I really don't understand how I haven't found a girlfriend yet.

22 posts in this topic

I'm 28, Christian. I've gotten my associates and just about to finish my bachelors degree. My class are pretty guys only since it's more in the IT area and girl for some reason usually don't want to become programmers. I work as a cart pusher at a grocery store, and I also have internship where I'm some art and programming. Sadly that's a stay at home job. I also goto church once a week, and I'm not having any luck there. I also play magic the gathering at a card shop on Friday night, but girls usually don't like to play Magic.

Personality wise, I'm pretty shy until I start to get know people. Then I start opening up as I start to trust them. I'm pretty laid back, I like to stay home or in a quiet environment. I'm looking for other areas to meet girls, but I really don't know where to go. I would like to find another Bible study to goto but not having any luck with that. Then there's also the fact that they usually tend to be guy or girls only.

Interests, I'm in heavy metal, video game, anime, Magic: The Gathering, God, Mythology, lost of different things in that area.

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Since you are having a difficult time meeting girls in your local area that share similar interests as you, here are 2 suggestions I have:

1. Because your interests are not interests that most girls, generally speaking, would share, you might want to consider going to places and doing things that you know girls would have an interest in. Some typical interests that girls have are movies, pop music, dancing, some recreational sports, cooking, board games, and clothing. So perhaps if you started to develop interests in some of these areas, then you might start to have more things in common with girls in general. Who knows, once you are able to talk to girls about their interests, you might then be able to get them curious about YOUR interests :). Perhaps eventually your hobbies will become THEIR hobbies.  But I think there will need to be some give and take on both sides.... You will need to be open to doing things your girl enjoys doing, and she will need to be open to doing things you enjoy doing.

2. If you can't find local girls that are into the things you like, then perhaps you should expand your dating pool by considering long distance relationships with girls online.  That way, you might be able to find girls with the same hobbies as you because you've now broadened your search area outside of just your local town.  Girls that share your interests are out there, but they are not going to be so common that you can just expect to run into them at the next street corner. So I would suggest online dating, and you might find it easier to locate girls' profiles that would be a good match for you.

Since you are a Christian, don't forget to also continue seeking God in prayer and asking Him to bring you the right girl for you :).

One more thing I would like to add is this. Since you say that you are pretty shy, I encourage you to start working on becoming more bold in taking initiative with relationships. Unless the girl is very forward, many girls will be waiting for you to make the first move to start a relationship. I think it's just a natural thing for us girls to want to be pursued, not be the ones pursuing. 

I hope these suggestions help! 

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2 hours ago, Innocence said:

Since you are having a difficult time meeting girls in your local area that share similar interests as you, here are 2 suggestions I have:

1. Because your interests are not interests that most girls, generally speaking, would share, you might want to consider going to places and doing things that you know girls would have an interest in. Some typical interests that girls have are movies, pop music, dancing, some recreational sports, cooking, board games, and clothing. So perhaps if you started to develop interests in some of these areas, then you might start to have more things in common with girls in general. Who knows, once you are able to talk to girls about their interests, you might then be able to get them curious about YOUR interests :). Perhaps eventually your hobbies will become THEIR hobbies.  But I think there will need to be some give and take on both sides.... You will need to be open to doing things your girl enjoys doing, and she will need to be open to doing things you enjoy doing.

2. If you can't find local girls that are into the things you like, then perhaps you should expand your dating pool by considering long distance relationships with girls online.  That way, you might be able to find girls with the same hobbies as you because you've now broadened your search area outside of just your local town.  Girls that share your interests are out there, but they are not going to be so common that you can just expect to run into them at the next street corner. So I would suggest online dating, and you might find it easier to locate girls' profiles that would be a good match for you.

Since you are a Christian, don't forget to also continue seeking God in prayer and asking Him to bring you the right girl for you :).

One more thing I would like to add is this. Since you say that you are pretty shy, I encourage you to start working on becoming more bold in taking initiative with relationships. Unless the girl is very forward, many girls will be waiting for you to make the first move to start a relationship. I think it's just a natural thing for us girls to want to be pursued, not be the ones pursuing. 

I hope these suggestions help! 

1. I know I don't really have common interests that girls have. I'd be willing to try new things with a girl, but probably wouldn't want to that type of stuff alone. But yeah, once I get started, I'd probably get interested in that kind of stuff.

2. Hmm, I tried online dating for 6 months. It went nowhere and really I didn't even get any responses to the messages I sent. Though I'm not really interested in long distance relationships.

Yeah, I've been asking God for help for 10+ years. No luck so far.

I know, I've been trying to talk to people more. But progress has been slow. Though I have tried asking a couple girls out for coffee over the last couple months, neither one went anywhere though. Doesn't seem like there'd anyone else to ask anytime soon.

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I'm not sure what the question is.

Is it that you just can't find a location where girls are or is it that you are around girls and have interest in certain girls but just can't seem to get a "girlfriend" as in they say no if you ask them out or you go out a couple of times but things always fizzle out?

If situation one, as the poster above stated you may want to expand some of your interests to include things girls like to do. Meetup.com is a good site to find groups that meet in your local area that have certain interests. There are lots of dating websites including christianmingle.com. If you are involved in a church do they have a college age singles class with lots of young people and lots of activities? Mine does, hopefully yours does too. If you have any girl friends you can let them know you'd be interested in meeting anyone they know that may also be single and looking to meet someone. You definitely need to expand the circles you travel farther and wider than what you already do.

If it is situation number two than you'll just need to ask out more people and do it more often. It may be harder for you if you are shy but unfortunately that is something you'll have to overcome. As in any skill or vocation there is NO way to improve, learn and grow without practice. You'll have to practice playfully approaching and interacting with women and casually asking them to lunch or dinner. Just go in knowing you'll probably get rejected more times than not but you'll just have to accept that and be ready for it going in. You may need to increase the size of the "net" you are casting to meet ladies. The more women you ask out and the more dates you go on will increase the percentages of you meeting someone special beginning a relationship. If you don't ask out anyone or only one person every couple of months than mathematically speaking your percentages and odds of finding someone go WAY down.

Maybe you'll luck out and just out one person and hit the jackpot but more often than not you'll need to ask out lots of girls and go on lots of dates before you find someone special.

Good luck.

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Hey man first of all GOOD for you on asking those girls out for coffee! Assuming that was done in person....I always jokingly say it’s harder for a girl to reject me to my face then it is to not reply lol:lol:…then I at least have a shot haha. Anyway, that is a great step in the right direction and you must keep that up.

To be completely honest with you, your interests have little to do with this situation…It only means in those environments, you’re clearly not going to meet many girls. There are plenty of couples that have nothing in common except they love each other and that’s perfectly ok. They take turns doing the fun things the other person enjoys. They don’t mind doing the not so fun stuff (within reason) because they’re with the person they love.

My 0.02 cents…

1)      Continue to increase your network of friends in real life. The more you get out there in person, the better your odds are for meeting a girl…or someone else setting things up for you.

2)      Definitely continue asking girls out in real life! That's a must

3)      Your programming career is a BLESSING!! because you can move to any city with a higher population of Christian women.

4)      Absolutely continue online dating. If you struggled with this one, then I would ask the lovely women on WTM for some tips on how to send a strong message that will grab the attention of a woman, on a dating site.  

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Online dating…I’m the last person to be talking about this one… so take this with a grain of salt and you probably already know this stuff.

Since you’re into coding/programing, you’re clearly way smart and already know online dating is definitely a numbers game. I have read several articles saying men on average have to send out 30-40 messages on traditional dating sites just to get one reply.

So when I first tried online dating, I was like a fish out of water. My entire life I had only interacted with women in person…so it was all new to me.  Lol this is sad but I’ll admit it, before I knew that stat…. I actually thought there was a glitch with the dating site I was on and my profile was not working lol. I think at that point I had sent out right around 35 messages straight, without one, single reply haha.:lol::lol: Good thing rejection does not bother me haha. Then when the first girl responded, I was so excited and then I was flooded with questions. Here is what I learned.

A.     I was not thinking about online dating from the women’s perspective. On traditional sites like Match, OKC, and CM, they usually bombarded with tons of messages every day.

B.     If they usually get flooded with messages, I needed to change my approach in a way that is conducive to the high volume of messages. When I did, I went from sending over 30+ messages to only 5 or 8 before I would get a reply.

C.     I also changed my profile picture and put a clearer image up and I think that also helped.

So stay persistent with your approach. If you want it enough, you have to keep trying and adapting.

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Hello,

I can say the same as you, it's even more astonishing for me who is 33 and still can't find that good guy that God has planned for me!!!

 

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On 4/12/2017 at 5:26 PM, DHZ said:

art and programming

[...]

Interests, I'm in heavy metal, video game, anime, Magic: The Gathering, God, Mythology, lost of different things in that area.

Leverage the art. If you have any creative hobbies, leverage that as hard as you can. If there's anything you're very very good at, humbly flaunt your skill, only within the context of the group. I have a certain hobby at which I'm extremely good that I wouldn't even mention around most people but, within the context of that hobby, I have girls come to and keep try, despite me shooing them away. It's a contextual dominance thing, being attractive by virtue of the fact that you're the best at something.

I don't have to tell you that programming is a tough sell as far as interests go (though having a good job will win you an unbelievable amount of points, and you come off more pleasant if you like your career), as are most of your interests, really. I've actually met a good amount of girls into anime (I'm not into it, so I can't help you there), but that's not something you can leverage too much. You can leverage art a little bit more. Your other interests...well, just don't lead with them unless you're confident enough to own it completely, make fun of yourself a little without being self-deprecating, and still remain completely confident. It's a tough strategy if you don't have overwhelming confidence, so I might not recommend it.

 

On 4/12/2017 at 5:26 PM, DHZ said:

I'm pretty shy

Work on this. Confidence can make up for flaws you might otherwise assume are insurmountable.

 

On 4/12/2017 at 5:26 PM, DHZ said:

I would like to find another Bible study to goto but not having any luck with that. Then there's also the fact that they usually tend to be guy or girls only.

I'll let a Christian comment further on this point, but I have it understood that there are youth and singles groups. Attend every church mixer you can, going in with the purpose of meeting more people, not necessarily trying to get a date. The dates will come, but don't be thirsty.

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On 13/04/2017 at 2:26 AM, DHZ said:

Interests, I'm in heavy metal, video game, anime, Magic: The Gathering, God, Mythology, lost of different things in that area.

Hi DHZ,

Excuse me, because here, I will be a little out off topic...before answering your question...

But I really couldn't overlook what you said regarding your interests...

I really don't want to attack you or to make you feel uncomfortable ...

I only want to bring glory to God...because  as you already know...I'm christian, totally into Jesus and the Bible...

I respect you as a human being and I really wish the best for you... So my purpose with the following lines is not to undermine you...But I do think that it's very important that I tell this...

Well...

Heavy metal and worship God are not compatible. Of course, you are free to choose wich kind of music you want to listen to...But if you really want to honor God with every aspect of your life, that's obvious that Jesus isn't pleased with heavy metal... the source of heavy metal is satanic...

The Bible tells us that God is pleased when we sing unto Him with psalms and other songs from our hearts...God enjoys when those who believe in Him, worship Him with songs and also with their lives

 speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord, Ephesians5v19

You also said that you play the game : Magic the gathering.

May be you can say that it's only a game and that it's an innocent stuff...But I really don't think so...God absolutely hates magic...In the Old testament, He destroyed nations because they were practicing magic, sorcery, horoscope and other abominations...

 Let no one be found among you who sacrifices their son or daughter in the fire, who practices divination or sorcery, interprets omens, engages in witchcraft, 11 or casts spells, or who is a medium or spiritistor who consults the dead. 12 Anyone who does these things is detestable to the Lord; because of these same detestable practices the Lord your God will drive out those nations before you.

Deuteronomy 18v10-12

So, if you didn't know before, now you know. And the choice is yours to obey God's commandment to please Him or not. He is the One you will have to answer for your actions in this life one day...Same for me...

Regarding the fact you haven't found a "girlfriend" yet despite the fact you have been to churches and to gathering where you can find christian girls...

I'm not God, and I don't have all the answers...

But I will try to help as I can...

First of all, as christians, the Bible tells us that if we enter a romantic relationship, the goal is to marry and have a marriage that glorify God.

A christian girl is a daughter of God...And for God, His daughters are precious...He wants to give them to a person who will treat them as Jesus treats His Church...

He who finds a wife finds a good thing And obtains favor from the LORD  Proverbs 18v22

God says : But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Matthew 6v33

It's important to put first things first...Even if you meet a good christian girl today or tomorrow...will you be able to pray for her and to help her to become holier as Jesus does with the church? Are you ready to sacrifice, to be an example of sanctity for her...? that's how God sees things...

When you seek to please God first, He will provide for you in every area in life when He decides it's time.

God is good and all those who put their trust in Him are never ashamed...

I hope my answer helps and I sincerely pray that you can grow closer to God each day more and more. He is the true source of satisfaction in life. In the name of Jesus. Amen

PS: Many people have girlfriends, wife, children, houses, money, job and so on.....but they aren't happy or feel fulfilled...why not? Because all those things don't bring happiness...If you don't find your true satisfaction in God, nothing on earth will make you happy... You will only find things that bring you temporary joy, for a very brief moment...Nothing or nobody can replace Jesus in your life....

Jesus gives true and deep joy, even when circumstances in life are tough...

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Rock on

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@samaye and @Géraldine, if you're going to use links to debate, please don't let them do all the talking for you. That is just lazy and condescending. Please use your own words to drive your points and only use links as a supporting resource.

Also, let's be careful not to stray too far off topic.

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2 hours ago, Invincible said:

@samaye and @Géraldine, if you're going to use links to debate, please don't let them do all the talking for you. That is just lazy and condescending. Please use your own words to drive your points and only use links as a supporting resource.

Also, let's be careful not to stray too far off topic.

oooops:superwaiter:

Sorry Vince :P....Well, that wasn't my intention to be condescending or lazy....sorry if it appeared this way :)

I really don't have much to say...to sum up the vid I posted I would say that even if some musics can be labeled as "christians" that doesn't make them automatically "christians" and "pleasurable for God".

We live in a day and age full of very subtle deceptions and as the Bible says :

Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the  spirits to see whether they are from God. For manyfalse prophets have gone out into the world.  1 john 4v1

It's important as christians that we can be watchful and discerning...That doesn't mean that we can't have fun in life...but we have to be careful regarding how we have fun and relax...

Music is quite a controversial subject, that's why I put a longer vid about that matter here :  

 

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@DHZ

As odd as this makes me, I don't actually listen to music so I'm rather indifferent on the topic. But the guy in that video is a complete nut job. God is not going to say, “When you worshiped me, you used the same rhythm as other evil people.”  You can trace something bad to just about anything and that’s why God is will look at your heart and your intentions.

By this guy’s crazy logic, you would not be allowed to use a vast array of modern technology because the porn industry either created or directly influenced the technology. From Blue Ray dvds, the internet, any video streaming services (i.e. Facetime,YouTube, Hulu, Amazon Video, Netflix, et cetera) digital cameras, webcams, et cetera. Oh and if you live in a country that uses tax payer funds to support abortion, then I guess you better stop paying your taxes?

If the point of that video is to suggest in some way God is displeased with you because you like music with a certain rhythm or because you play certain card games and that's why you're single, then that’s completely absurd. Again it’s your heart and intentions that matter in this scenario. I would encourage you to focus the sensible comments in this thread.

 

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Apologies in advance for perpetuating the off-topic material, but I have to reply to this:

20 hours ago, Géraldine said:

(Video: The Moral Dangers of Popular & Contemporary Christian Music.)

 

Quote

"Syncopation, by all occult experts around the world agree: syncopation is the source of occult power in pagan worship services" (sic)

Incorrect. I would go into detail on the mechanisms of occult works, but this is already severely off-topic as it is, and I doubt anyone here would be interested anyway. Suffice it to say that this statement is so utterly false and absurd that it is laughable, and it is exceedingly clear that Mr Berdahl has never actually consulted with a single legitimate occult expert before making this statement.

Quote

"It short-circuits their frontal moral lobe. It gets them to a place where they can become possessed"

Incorrect. Not even touching on the spurious terminology, the use of syncopated music in possession rituals is largely confined to African traditions or those derived from them, such as New World syncretic traditions. Western traditions in particular typically use non-syncopated rhythms to promote trance for the purpose of invocation, assuming any music or rhythm is used at all, which is not required or even really standardized by any means. Highly ritualized invocations in Western occult traditions that use music typically involve chanting with the emphasis on the first beat, precisely the way Mr Berdahl says Christian music should be.

 

I started watching the longer video posted, but I realized he referenced the Masaro Emoto experiments and remembered that some of the classical music Emoto used to produce what he considered visually-pleasing patterns was syncopated. After that, I stopped the video.

Sincerely,
An occult expert (14 years of occult experience), historian (graduate degree from a Top 10 university), and musical composer


Oh right, and I realize that criticisms might have more weight coming from Christians than me, so I've included a link to a response from an Adventist theomusicologist:
https://theomusicology.wordpress.com/2013/01/05/a-response-to-christian-berdahl-1-syncopation-part-one/
(there are several parts, linked at the bottom of the article)
This link is significantly more invective (considers Mr Berdahl's movement as a cult), but it is written to what I consider an academic standard:
http://sevytalibancults.blogspot.com/p/christian-berdahl-and-shepherds-call.html

 

Cheers

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I've been pondering your conundrum for a while, now. Honestly, I know it's difficult to go through. With all sincerity, as I've been where you are for the better part of nearly 4 decades. What I'm going to say is not easy to accept, nor easy to put into practice. In fact, it took me years to realize and actually feel it. I won't say this will work for everyone, but I'd venture to say that it's possible it could...start praying for Gods will, WHATEVER that might be, in your life. Keep living your life with your focus on your faith, as you sound like you have been, but start to focus on life, and EVERY blessing God has bestowed on you. Thank Him, every day. I'm sure there are many if you stop and really think about it. Focus on your goals for YOU, and learn to accept Gods lead, rather than where you want to go. Learn to be happy in yourself. By yourself. For yourself. With yourself. I say this because happiness is attractive, it gives a different glow than even  confidence or anything else. I see it when I look at people who are in their element, doing what they are passionate about, which is why I love watching people do, or listen to them talk about it. Ok, so happiness isn't easy sometimes. Maybe you're clinically depressed. No, I am not one who believes that we can just 'get over it' or 'pray it away' (not to say that I don't think praying help, because I do). Honestly, I don't think love can be forced, no Matt how much we search. In fact I just watched a video on YouTube where this guy put it beautifully when he said, something along the lines of 'No matter how we search, or where, or for how long, love doesn't happen until the right person comes along'. Most people who do find it stumble upon it, and never see it coming.

As for your interests...I'm not sure I can help you there because I see nothing wrong with them. Sure, they aren't typically the interests of females, but there are some girls who like that stuff. However, I'm not the best person to speak for that because I prefer to have a lot of differences with a love interest, whereas a lot of people want similarities...and I find that idea highly boring. For me, as long as we see eye to eye on faith, and a very few other things. (I really need him to want to travel like we're in our 20s even if we're like 60. Ok, maybe it won't happen...as I believe it's possible that it won't....but, if it does.)

Anyway...I know it's hard. I never thought I'd feel the way that I do now. Peaceful in my singlehood. Although, I never thought I'd be single at this stage, either. Thing is, I believe I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be at in life, and that took a long time for me to accept. I sincerely hope that you'll find the girl you're looking for, that God will lead you and you'll have the strength, courage, and wisdom, to follow wherever it is He leads you. While He is leading you, be the man God would expect from you. Pray for the possibility of her. Focus on who you are, for the most part, praying for peace in your journey.

 You have gotten some great advice, but there really is no clear and direct answer. We really can't know what God has planned for us, or when. That's probably the thing that tests our faith the most...timing. We want things when we want them, in our own time, but we are children. Learning to trust God is key.

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12 hours ago, Skald said:

Apologies in advance for perpetuating the off-topic material, but I have to reply to this:

 

Incorrect. I would go into detail on the mechanisms of occult works, but this is already severely off-topic as it is, and I doubt anyone here would be interested anyway. Suffice it to say that this statement is so utterly false and absurd that it is laughable, and it is exceedingly clear that Mr Berdahl has never actually consulted with a single legitimate occult expert before making this statement.

Incorrect. Not even touching on the spurious terminology, the use of syncopated music in possession rituals is largely confined to African traditions or those derived from them, such as New World syncretic traditions. Western traditions in particular typically use non-syncopated rhythms to promote trance for the purpose of invocation, assuming any music or rhythm is used at all, which is not required or even really standardized by any means. Highly ritualized invocations in Western occult traditions that use music typically involve chanting with the emphasis on the first beat, precisely the way Mr Berdahl says Christian music should be.

 

I started watching the longer video posted, but I realized he referenced the Masaro Emoto experiments and remembered that some of the classical music Emoto used to produce what he considered visually-pleasing patterns was syncopated. After that, I stopped the video.

Sincerely,
An occult expert (14 years of occult experience), historian (graduate degree from a Top 10 university), and musical composer


Oh right, and I realize that criticisms might have more weight coming from Christians than me, so I've included a link to a response from an Adventist theomusicologist:
https://theomusicology.wordpress.com/2013/01/05/a-response-to-christian-berdahl-1-syncopation-part-one/
(there are several parts, linked at the bottom of the article)
This link is significantly more invective (considers Mr Berdahl's movement as a cult), but it is written to what I consider an academic standard:
http://sevytalibancults.blogspot.com/p/christian-berdahl-and-shepherds-call.html

 

Cheers

Thank you very much  Skald for your answers... sincerely 

I admit that I learned plenty of things... And especially, I learned things with the links of the adventist christians that you posted...

I'm ashamed to admit it...:superwaiter:...But I'm really not an expert in those things at all....I mean...To tell the truth, I just discovered Berdhal yesterday when I came across his video...And may be all his arguments are not based upon the truth...

The thing is I'm not promoting him or his videos or his ideas...so if what he says is unbiblical, I was wrong to post his videos here...

In the videos, I agree with many things he says but not with everything...

Anyway, my goal by posting his videos was simply to say that some musics are deliberately choosen to worship the devil and then  labeled as" christian music" to deceive christians... so what I meant is that christians  have simply to be careful while selecting the kind  of music they want to listen to... 

That's really  all that I meant...That's all...

 

12 hours ago, Skald said:

Cheers

:D Ok...You really made me smile with this one ! 

 

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I'm 29 single Christian guy too! It seemed extremely difficult to find a Christian girl to share my interests with. A good friend of mine recommended me to use  http://www.cupid.com/christian-dating.htm . Online dating sites are matching guys and girls up according to personality, religion, and preferences, sexuality etc. It helps narrow down the options and gives you a better chance of relationship success. Hope you'll enjoy it!

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On ‎4‎/‎18‎/‎2017 at 2:57 PM, robbyfine said:

I'm 29 single Christian guy too! It seemed extremely difficult to find a Christian girl to share my interests with. A good friend of mine recommended me to use  http://www.cupid.com/christian-dating.htm . Online dating sites are matching guys and girls up according to personality, religion, and preferences, sexuality etc. It helps narrow down the options and gives you a better chance of relationship success. Hope you'll enjoy it!

Online dating can be a nightmare as many people are not who they claim to be. So be careful in your search for a life partner.

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On 4/12/2017 at 5:26 PM, DHZ said:

I'm 28, Christian. I've gotten my associates and just about to finish my bachelors degree. My class are pretty guys only since it's more in the IT area and girl for some reason usually don't want to become programmers. I work as a cart pusher at a grocery store, and I also have internship where I'm some art and programming. Sadly that's a stay at home job. I also goto church once a week, and I'm not having any luck there. I also play magic the gathering at a card shop on Friday night, but girls usually don't like to play Magic.

Personality wise, I'm pretty shy until I start to get know people. Then I start opening up as I start to trust them. I'm pretty laid back, I like to stay home or in a quiet environment. I'm looking for other areas to meet girls, but I really don't know where to go. I would like to find another Bible study to goto but not having any luck with that. Then there's also the fact that they usually tend to be guy or girls only.

Interests, I'm in heavy metal, video game, anime, Magic: The Gathering, God, Mythology, lost of different things in that area.

I know how you feel I'm 29. I just dated two men who were both Christian and we talked about marriage, but both relationships didn't work out so far.

1. If you feel like this is a God issue and God is holding out on you, (which is what I feel) you could ask God to reveal to you what it is you need to work on (If anything), or give you more patience.

2. If you feel like this is simply a matter of finding a wife, switch up your routine, try new things or develop new interests to meet new people. AKA go to the store in the morning vs at night etc, if you shop online normally like gamers generally do, go in person etc etc. Good luck I'm right there with you.  

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I know how you feel @DHZ.

It's hard when you can't find someone...

Keep talking to women. I can say with confidence that this is something that gets much easier with practice. Try to find women with similar interests. 

I don't want to go too far off topic, but I feel the need to respond to what others have said in this thread.

 I think some of the other posters are way off-base with criticizing your hobbies... I am well aware of the German Catholic saying ("Paint a demon on your wall, and one appears")... But games like Magic, and even the somewhat controversial Dungeons and Dragons have nothing to do with the occult... I stay away from devil related things, but I think that people who attack you for a fictitious card game, or for listening to certain types of music are way off the mark, especially if you are not interested in the occult...

I can't speak for others on this board, but under Catholicism, watching or listening to any type of movie or music isn't a sin per se... The most Catholicism will say is that something can be a Near Occasion of Sin... Deliberately leading you into temptation... If somebody is a violent drunk who walks into a bar, it isn't a sin because he went into the bar. It is an Occasion of Sin, because he put himself into the temptation of becoming a violent drunk...  It's the same thing with watching violent or sexy movies... If it makes you have violent or sexual tendencies, it is an Occasion of Sin because it leads you into temptation. But just watching a movie isn't in and of itself a sin...

This also reminds me of the fundamentalist Christians who like to confuse Wiccan people with "witches"... A Wiccan is somebody who worships nature. A "witch" is somebody who worships the Christian devil. Big difference, yet they use the terms interchangeably...

 

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Are you maybe being too picky? Do you have a long list of "musts" you're looking for in a girl? If so, you might want to re-evaluate what's truly important and what you can compromise on. There is no perfect person and it's unlikely you will find someone that checks everything off your list.

If not, perhaps you just need to get more involved in your area. Church small groups, volunteering, gym, etc. Have you ever tried the MeetUp app? It shows you active groups in your area that you can get involved with, and you can even make your own group. 

Pastors at my church always tell singles to run after God as hard as you can and then look around to see who's running with you :) 

 

 

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Apologies for further OT, but...

On 4/26/2017 at 11:07 PM, Dave1985 said:

This also reminds me of the fundamentalist Christians who like to confuse Wiccan people with "witches"... A Wiccan is somebody who worships nature. A "witch" is somebody who worships the Christian devil. Big difference, yet they use the terms interchangeably...

Incorrect.

A Wiccan is someone who practices the religion of Wicca, a modern (typically, but not always) duotheistic religion that draws inspiration from various Western esoteric traditions and sort of Anglicizes them. The word comes from an Old English term for a sorceror or mage, and early Wiccans referred to themselves as witches or wicces. Given the influence of esoteric traditions, magical practice was present from the beginning. "Witchcraft" is a broad term in the occult. In traditional usage, it refers to someone who practices (often European) folk magic, but modern witches most often incorporate some form of ceremonial magic as well.

In any case, neither axiomatically has anything to do with devil worship, and the Christian concept of the devil is somewhat alien to most native European traditions.

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