Sarah Elizabeth

Why Should I Wait?

20 posts in this topic

No one seems to be supportive of me and my decision. My mom is iffy about the idea of me abstaining until marriage and both my sisters(one is married with children, the other with children and divorce) both think I should just wait for the "right person and in a solid relationship". Even my friends think it's odd. I am 15 years old. Yes, I'm young but I see people giving everything away so easily around me, and I'm trying to make the right decision for ME. But without the support of my own family, I'm starting to wonder, why bother? What if we aren't compatible like everyone says? Basically, I'm looking for the pro's and con's of waiting until marriage for sex.

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Honestly, I've seen it enough in this world, even with my short life of 24 years...and all the people who didn't wait, who I knew personally, regretted it. When you find that one who you can see spending the rest of your life with, growing old with and dying with...and (if you believe in an afterlife) spending the rest of eternity with, in Paradise or whatever you believe in, you're going to want to give them the best gift that you could ever give someone. Saying 'I saved myself for you and ONLY you' in mere words doesn't mean much...actions carry FAR more weight. If you can give them that gift of being the only person who has ever given you that kind of a feeling (made love, etc.), well, I just can't see any other thing that can equal it. My parents both waited and the feeling(s) connected to their waiting for eachother are what have made their marriage last, where so many others have failed. As my mom put it, saying to my dad (with tears in her eyes) "I'm stuck on him.", and my dad responded (the same way) "I'm stuck on her." I don't know any more eloquent of a way to put it than that. When you wait and find that person, it's going to feel sooooo much better, at least that's how I see it. I couldn't see any other way that I would feel more complete or fulfilled than, having saved myself, finding that one, getting married to her, and having my (and hopefully our) first time on our wedding night. Besides, if you've waited and they've waited (either with you or on their own, which is of course better) then you'll be able to find out if you're both compatible on far deeper and more meaningful levels. After all, couples (married or no) do FAR more with eachother than have sex, lol...trust me...I've seen for myself the other aspects of relationships (I've waited and am still waiting). Don't let others get you down or make your decisions for you. Respect them, but think for yourself. Besides, it would really feel bad to have waited for a solid relationship, given him your V-Card...only to break-up...and BAM he's gone and there you sit, broken hearted and with what? At least that's my take on it. Either way, you're always welcome here...I just hope you make the right decision (whatever that may be for you), so that there are no unresolvable regrets later on...it will sting (I've had my share related to other parts of life and I can tell you that if they included giving up my V-Card outside of marriage, I don't what I'd do, as the regret would be too great). There you have it my two cents...and good luck!

See ya on the flipside,

Tempest Desh

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Wow, your parents waited? What a great motivator! And yes, I full heartedly agree with everything you have said. I've actually been looking at this site for a while now, and finally decided to become a part of it. I've read alot of your posts, as you seem to be one of the top contributers. And I applaud your commitment, not many guys wait anymore. I was pretty set and confident in my decision to wait, but as I'm sure everyone here knows, you feel quite alone in it. I do have the slight fear that I'll never get married though. But I guess you never know if you don't try. Thanks for the advice, I really do feel waiting is the right decision, I just don't want 5 years to go by and regret making that commitment.

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Hey Sarah! Glad that you finally signed up for the site. I was going to mention reading through the articles on the main site but it looks like you've already done that. :)

I just don't want 5 years to go by and regret making that commitment.

When I was 20 I didn't regret my decision even a little bit and I still don't. It's an empowering commitment to make because it puts you in charge of your life.

As someone who is younger and has clearly thought about waiting, I wanted to ask you a question. I have a younger sister who just recently turned 16. My parents have only ever dated each other but they don't ever talk about stuff like that.

I feel sort of obligated to bring it up with her but I don't want to be the weird older brother. I just want her to know that I've made that choice in my life and that I feel it is important. How would you feel if an older brother tried to talk to you about waiting?

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Sarah,

Congrats on waiting and welcome! I know what you're growing through. When I was a couple of years younger then you were, I determined that I wanted to wait too. My mother wasn't exactly support either. She kept urging me to date or hang out with the boys when I knew that I didn't want that for myself at that moment. My friends, I don't think that I even bothered telling them cause I already knew what their reactions were going to be. lol

One thing that I can tell you is that you won't have cause to regret if you wait. Chances are that your friends will come to you telling you how much they wished that they hadn't done this with that boy or girl. When you settle down the the right person, you'll have a great reason to be proud of yourself and most likely, you'll be an inspiration to those around you.

Just know that if you ever need support, you have a great one in this site. If you ever need an ear, feel free to send a message my way!

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Leo,

I would love if my older siblings had talked to me about this subject! Now coming from my brother personally it would be weird, just because I'm not very close to him at all. But both of my older sisters are not very supportive in it and I really wish they were. I think you should try talking to her. But make sure she knows it's a decision that only she can make. Inform her about it, give her both pros and cons and let her decide for herself. I think knowing that you are waiting will be a great inspiration for her. I do suggest that if she is too uncomfortable talking about it, let her know to come to you or let you know when she's ready. When a person really doesn't want to discuss a subject they won't listen or really consider it (especially teenagers!) So mention it to her and see where it goes :)

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Faye,

Thanks, and yes, my mother thinks I'll change my mind in a few years. But that's why I think it is important for me to make this commitment now, while I'm still clear headed and not clouded by love for someone. And yes, I think this site is great, and I'm hoping it will continue to grow and more people will consider the option of waiting. Even schools aren't promoting abstinence much, they merely mention it. Which is quite sad actually. Thanks for posting and will do! :)

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Just some advice for you Leo from my own experience!

My brother is about 5 years older than me and we're very close but he never really talked to me about sex until I approached him. I was basically really upset because I want to wait and felt pretty alone in my decision and had just been broken up with because of it and some of my closest friends were starting to sleep with other people so it kind of hit me hard!

I was really upset and just told him that I want to wait until I'm married and he said something like "then you will get more out of it than anybody else because you've had the strength to wait" or "it will be the ultimate experience if you wait" It was quite a long time ago now but it was something like that haha. And the thing is, he hasn't waited himself so for him to say that made me realise that it is a special thing that I'm doing and he clearly admires me for it.

We then basically talked about how it is a special and important thing and the girl he had his first time with he is still in a relationship with after about 3 years and they're now living together and talking about marriage so I think even though he isn't a soppy person he let me in on how special a thing it is and it made me feel such a great connection with him because we could be so open and comfortable about something so personal. He didn't go into the nitty gritty details about it and I wouldn't either if I were you! It would just turn a comforting conversation into a disgusting one.

It is definitely a nice thing to know that your brother is a bit of a romantic at heart and supports you!

My advice is then to either wait until she has a boyfriend or ask her if she is interested in anyone and just open up to her about your decision. She will most likely really respect you for it and may decide to follow in your footsteps and if not she knows that she can come to you whenever she needs to talk to you because you've gotten over one of the scariest conversations I suppose.

Hope that kind of helps a bit :)

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my mother hates the fact im waiting we have had more than 1 screaming mach over it, she literary despises my decision to wtm, and when she is not shouting or taking the mickey, we don't talk about it, it is band to talk about in our house because it starts the screaming, my and my moms relationship has suffered for my decision, but it is my decision know-one eases, and i made it for me, think back why did u chose to wait, i cant tell u why u did, only u know that, all i can say is u did and u did for a reason, think of that reason and keep it close to your hart, ignore the stress that comes along with it, in my opinion its worth it (my mom is not even coming to my wedding day because im waiting, that's not going to stop me from wating, dont let anything stop u please :) )

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Honey I'm 26 and everyone around me thinks it's weird. Don't worry about anyone else's support. Do it for yourself. I'm a proud waiter.

Don't have worry about pregnancy

STDs

Being branded a slut or anything else like that

I'm to have enough respect for my body to wait for my soulmate. The people who truely love you will support you. If they don't then there are plenty of people here who will

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You should wait because, like me and pretty much everyone else on this site, you're worth waiting for :) .

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Wow, your parents waited? What a great motivator! And yes, I full heartedly agree with everything you have said. I've actually been looking at this site for a while now, and finally decided to become a part of it. I've read alot of your posts, as you seem to be one of the top contributers. And I applaud your commitment, not many guys wait anymore. I was pretty set and confident in my decision to wait, but as I'm sure everyone here knows, you feel quite alone in it. I do have the slight fear that I'll never get married though. But I guess you never know if you don't try. Thanks for the advice, I really do feel waiting is the right decision, I just don't want 5 years to go by and regret making that commitment.

5 years isn't even that long of a time, when you consider a lifetime. In 5 years you won't even be in your mid-twenties, so no worries :)

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5 years isn't even that long of a time, when you consider a lifetime. In 5 years you won't even be in your mid-twenties, so no worries :)

 

Yay thread necro! 

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Of course it's harder to wait. If doing the right thing were easy, everyone else would be doing it too. And, of course people laugh, mock, or even get angry with you for waiting. I've had conversations with people who laughed at me. One or two of them secretly broke down and admitted they were jealous.

 

Why should you wait. Why should you wait? Oh my dear girl.

 

You should wait because in a world of people who obey their bodies, you will learn how to make your body obey you.

 

You should wait because it can make you free of the baggage of other men.

 

You should wait because you are choosing to live a greater story than others.

 

You should wait because you alone can choose to honor your future husband with that precious gift.

 

You should wait to remain free of the heartaches, consequences and afflictions so many women are burdened with.

 

You should wait because greater struggles are met with greater rewards.

 

You should wait not because you're strong, but because waiting helps make you strong.

 

You should wait because you are worth it; because you value and respect yourself.

 

You should wait because women who wait will attract a higher quality man who will appreciate you for YOU, not your body or what pleasure you can give him with it.

 

You should wait because you can hold your head high with dignity, but smile because you harbor a quiet secret and a hidden gift.

 

You should wait because you will save yourself much heartache; no one can have sex and not get emotionally attached, 

 

You should wait because it's the right thing to do. And you should wait because in the end, it will all be worth it.

 

They all know this, your critics. Sex is fun, but every late period, every cold sore, every empty and hollow walk of shame, every morning gripping a pregnancy test with white knuckles and nervous anticipation.....you're skipping all that. You're skipping the baggage and the shame and the guilt.

 

And one day, you'll be able to look yourself -- and your daughter -- in the eye with pride, knowing you obeyed God and made the right choice.

 

That's why you should wait. I've been waiting for a decade longer than you. It doesn't get easier, but the hope gets sweeter.

 

Hang in there.

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There's a lot to wait for I mean there's nothing more romantic than being someone's one and only for life. Thetrick is ffinding someone who wait with you since you say the people surrounding you don't quite understand.

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I should wait: #1 because God wants me to, and designed me to wait for my spouse, and that she take my virginity on my wedding night, and its still pure and beautiful that way.

 

I should wait because:

 

1). Sex was created by God, and He ordained it to be experienced in marriage, and I respect and accept that.

 

(2). Pre-marital sex is a sin before God, and I want to please God in Christ by waiting till marriage.

 

(3). I want to honor God by maintaining my purity and give just me-my all to my wife, not 2, 5, 20 or more partners that would have been in me, if I had engaged in pre-marital sex.

 

(4). I should wait so I can become one flesh with my wife and experience the oneness, love and intimacy God designed should be experienced in sexual intimacy.

 

(5). I love my wife to come, want to share the most intimate part of my being with the one I am supposed to share it with alone-my wife.

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