'tis the Bearded One

Practical Femininity

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Hi peeps! 

This topic has arisen out of this one  @Naturally and I are scheming to create a near impenetrable web of interlocking threads!

What is considered feminine has undergone significant change and can differs from person to person. I did a brief search on the forum and @Matthew's thread on masculine/feminine traits was the closest I got to it. That thread has a different aim but I recommend checking it out too. 

 

So...

Ladies: What activities/attitudes/attributes that you do/have make you feel feminine? What about activities/attitudes/attributes of others towards you? 

Gentleman: What activities/attitudes/attributes of women do you consider increases their "femininity index"? Either positively or negatively?

 

I'm interested in indicators of femininity not of gender, if you can separate the two...

For instance, if as a woman having your period is merely a annoying/painful reminder of being female it's not really of interest but if having a period makes you feel feminine because it remind you of your body's fertility and ability to nurture another life inside it [or whatever], then yes that would be of interest. Technically having a period, regardless of its perception, is feminine by definition of being a natural part of being female...so I guess I'm looking for femininity indicators that impact your self-esteem as a female either positively or negatively.

Another example: do guys consider "loves shopping" a feminine quality but one they don't particularly value? Thus while a woman who presents with this is more feminine it doesn't increase her attractiveness for someone looking for a feminine spouse?

Please be candid and not too worried about whether the answers are politically correct or not. We want to know what the indicators are for you. What they should or should not be is secondary though there probably will be a bit of discussion on that too. If so please try and conduct it in a manner that won't impair discussion. Thank you.

"Practical Masculinity" thread can be found here

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Here is a brief outline of some qualities which, from my perspective, lend a sense of femininity: 

Grace. Includes gentleness, empathy, compassion, kindness, generosity and devotion to loved ones. Knowing how to put others at ease and expressing genuine interest in their life and well being, which place attention on another besides oneself. I cannot think of another quality which greater epitomizes femininity.

Elegance. Involves upholding a high code of ethics, observing proper etiquette/being polite, good posture, timeless style, attending to health and appearance. Some of these may seem more "shallow" or self centered on the surface but can indicate to others they are important to you, like dressing nice to a funeral, or eating well to live longer for your family. In short, elegance to me means living well.

Tidiness. Knowing how, what and who to prioritize, managing time wisely, as well as keeping possessions clean and fresh. Contrary to the shopping example, I believe it's more feminine to not own much or spend beyond one's means. Simplicity in all areas of life signify a woman who is confident in who she is and what she wants.

Youthful spirit. Possessing a novel crispness, positive attitude, playful sense of humor, and pleasant countenance throughout all stages of life. These are attractive and magnetic qualities at any age.

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Femininity isn't valued in our society these days. Both men and women have some mix of both feminine and masculine qualities, though men naturally are more inclined to be masculine and women towards feminine. Women today are encouraged to forsake their feminine instincts in favor of masculine qualities. Femininity is often seen as weak and something that ought to be rejected. But nothing could be further than the truth. Femininity is beautiful, natural and is a sign of strength. Feminine energy is necessary to balance out the masculine in this world. Here are feminine traits which stand out to me the most.

Fertility/Child bearing: This is perhaps the most profound and powerful feminine trait in the world. A woman's fertility is unfortunately seen as a disease nowadays and children are seen as an inconvenience towards a woman's path to a career. This is a dangerous lie that has been propagated so deeply in Western society. Women literally have the ability to give life to a human being. Our very survival as a species is greatly dependent on a ability to give birth. How could that be anything but empowering?

Nurturance: Closely tied to maternity but not exclusively so. Nurturance can also extend to caring for family, friends or members of the community. A woman's natural urge to nurture is vital to ensuring the well being of others both physically and emotionally. The ability to give life ultimately doesn't mean much without it accompanied by someone devoted to the care and elevation of said life.

Tenderness: The masculine nature of competitiveness and leadership often leads to stress and weariness. The harsh demands of every day life need to be tempered by tenderness, lest we risk getting burnt out and losing our drive to continue. We all could do with some tenderness in our lives so that we can recharge and feel refreshed to fight another day.

Submissiveness: A trait that is not politically correct, especially in regards to women, yet I make no apologies for it. It's an often misunderstood term that is associated with abuse, weakness or lacking of one's own identity. In truth, it has nothing to do with any of those things. In the context of a loving relationship, submissiveness can greatly benefit it. Submissiveness in practical terms can simply be a voluntary act in allowing and trusting a man to thrive in his masculine inclination to lead. Most women prefer a man who leads. When a man is given way to lead, he feels manly and needed. That in turn allows him to feel empowered to fulfill most women's desire to be taken care of and protected. It's the perfect balance.

Playfulness: Let's face it, men can often times be real stiffs and I don't mean physically (although we often are in that way too ;)). I mean we have a tendency to be structured and rigid in our way of thinking and just take life too seriously at times. A man needs a woman's spontaneity and playfulness to help us chill out and bring out the mischievous little boy in us. This also happens to be a trait I find absolutely irresistible in a woman.

 

21 hours ago, redgrapes said:

Grace. Includes gentleness, empathy, compassion, kindness, generosity and devotion to loved ones. Knowing how to put others at ease and expressing genuine interest in their life and well being, which place attention on another besides oneself. I cannot think of another quality which greater epitomizes femininity.

I couldn't agree more :) Grace, I think encompasses many of the softer and more gentle positive traits that we need in our society and they are most definitely feminine in nature.

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On 3/24/2017 at 11:05 AM, Invincible said:

Fertility/Child bearing: This is perhaps the most profound and powerful feminine trait in the world. A woman's fertility is unfortunately seen as a disease nowadays and children are seen as an inconvenience towards a woman's path to a career. This is a dangerous lie that has been propagated so deeply in Western society. Women literally have the ability to give life to a human being. Our very survival as a species is greatly dependent on a ability to give birth. How could that be anything but empowering?

*nods head* I find it so sad and nearly off putting when some women treat their pregnancy like some unwanted, blemishing burden. I realise that pregnancy brings its challenges and pains but overall it should be more cherished I think. The mother's psycho-emotional state has a significant impact already in utero on who this baby will become. I hope my wife will start loving our offspring even before we see him/her. And if she has a problem with me caressing her belly we are going to have issues! :lol: 

 

 

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