Invincible

Would you marry someone who wasn't "romantic?"

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I was reading an article about a woman who married a man who wasn't romantic. To her, that meant he didn't do common displays of romance such as surprising her with flowers, writing cute notes to each other or make the extra effort in planning a elaborate surprise for her birthday or Valentine's Day. You know, typical hallmark stuff that guys are expected to do :P She went on to way how she was quite resentful at first. She said expressed that desire to him and he did make an effort to do those things, but it just didn't feel natural to him. He just didn't see the fuss in all that stuff. Eventually though, she realized that she was mistaking the TV-styled romance as proof of love rather than see all the actual things he did do. While he didn't do the stereotypical displays of romance, he makes her feel heard, a good father to their children, runs a hot bath for her each night, encourages her in her dreams, comforts her when she is sad, cooks her favorite breakfast often, the list goes on and on. She decided to appreciate him for the stuff he did that truly mattered rather than for things society measured love by.

Of course what is considered "romantic" might be different depending from person to person. Based on your own definition, could you marry someone who didn't do or appreciate the things you considered romantic?

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Sure, most likely. Though I would still likely want some smaller gestures. But the bigger, more elaborate, and overly romantic ones can make me cringe. So I would be fine if he never did any of those. And I'd rather receive no stereotypical romantic gestures than to have forced and unnatural ones.

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Well, I'm nowhere near stereotypical. I do think I'd want SOME sort of romantic gestures. I don't want anything typical, anyway, but something that means something to him and I, on a personal level. I don't like roses, they're too common. I don't like the idea of Valentines day, either. I want him to surprise me with little things. The key to THAT, though, is in order to be romantic they don't happen all of the time, rather than sporadically, and without notice. I, also, think the best ones happen when they can see you need it...bad day, etc. I feel that each individual has talents, and original thoughts. The key is to use those, and actually consider your partner. Just as I wouldn't expect him to be the only one to do those things.

I guess, to answer the question...I'm not sure I could. I mean, I don't want, or need, much from someone aside from the normal day to day affections, support, and such...but, I also want some spontaneity, which I guess I see as part of the romance.

I think this is either a lot more complicated than it sounds, or I'm making it more complicated.<_<

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