Naturally

Virgin Therapists: Putting your skills to the test

7 posts in this topic

Hey WTM’ers,

So I don’t know about you, but when I’m having conversations with my family and friends about problems they’re having in their relationships my opinions are frequently dismissed. I’m told “You wouldn’t understand because you’ve never been married” or “You have no Idea, you’re a virgin”.

Well I happen to think that we virgins know quite a bit about sex and relationships (Possibly even more than those in them!) Why? Because we’ve spent years researching them, observing them, and being mindful in how we approach them. I would even say that we virgins have a unique ability for evaluating conflict and disagreements that often married people don’t have: objectivity.

Married people are too close to the problem which biases their opinion of the issue and often disables them from having an objective, non-partisan perspective.

I frequently post scenarios that have occurred with my friends or that I’ve encountered in the virtual-world because I want an objective, mindful assessment of what the conflict is about, who is causing it, whether the behaviours are warranted, and how the issues can be resolved. For these solutions I’ve turned to you, my Virgin Therapists! And I have not been disappointed. We’ve been having insightful, earnest, in-depth discussions on already posted scenarios that have served to broaden our understanding about complex issues faced in relationships, analyze behaviours and responses deemed acceptable and unacceptable in marriage, and have become more sensitized to the needs of the opposite gender.

It’s been so educational and rewarding for those participating I recommend we continue the discussions on scenarios such as these under the heading ‘Virgin Therapists’ or perhaps if proven to be popular, admins could even set up a specific section for these debates to take place.

So if you’re having a conundrum in your relationship, witnessed a feud between a couple, aware of a disagreement in a marriage, or even just come across a scenario online post it under the title ‘Virgin Therapists’ and the WTM community will come out and debate the issue. This is more than just your opinion, we want your arguments. Whatever the scenario, you’re guaranteed to get advocates for both sides of the debate. You should also join in the debate as we tease out the scenarios and question the bigger issues such as sexual vs emotional needs, the optimal relationship paradigm, gender-specific concerns, marital expectations, double standards, the polemical issue of manipulation and much much more! 

So let’s use our unique skills of empathy, conflict resolution, and objectivity to try and understand, relate to, and resolve relationship issues while we grow in our understanding of one another.

Take a look at some of the most recent examples below and let me know if you’re in favour of ‘Virgin Therapists’ because I’ve already got a few scenarios saved up and I’m rearing to go!

Peace out, WTM fam.

 

http://forums.waitingtillmarriage.org/topic/5763-withholding-not-manipulative-just-angry/

http://forums.waitingtillmarriage.org/topic/5771-what-would-you-do/#comment-83788

 

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Although I've had the opposite response...people seem to trust my instincts and come to me for thoughts. I do think you have a great idea here. It could be both fun and educational. Of course, you've also just laid out a terrific ad. lol I felt like I was watching a commercial. 

 

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I don't get involved anymore. Im' usually right about most things, but no one listens unless it's something they want to hear. People only listen to what they want to hear unless they are smart then I know I've met someone who might be a good friend.

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@Naturally I think this is an excellent idea. If nothing else, this will no doubt revive the forums which seemed to be dead until just recently. I always enjoy the discussions and the scenarios you bring are always thought-provoking.

I also like the idea of a specific forum for the Virgin Therapists. If that is something the rest of you would be in favor for, then maybe I will set it up. For the time being, I have taken the liberty of modifying your existing threads with the label "Virgin Therapists" :)

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6 hours ago, Naturally said:

So I don’t know about you, but when I’m having conversations with my family and friends about problems they’re having in their relationships my opinions are frequently dismissed. I’m told “You wouldn’t understand because you’ve never been married” or “You have no Idea, you’re a virgin”.

I have never actually had that levied against me. Maybe its because I don't have that many relationships where it would be appropriate to be nosy or where I have the opportunity to contribute or I'm just too respected in my circle :P

 I think we do know a lot. However, knowledge doesn't equate with an understanding just how hard putting certain things into action are. I can read about how emotional a woman can be but until I'm presented with that in marriage (or at least in a significant relationship) I can't be sure how I will handle it. Haha this reminds me: my brother went to visit a female friend's family some time ago [she has 3 younger sisters all still in school] and he was shocked that for the vast majority of days there would be some girl crying in her room over something. I think the emotional volatility scared him....granted their young but...yeah :lol: He hasn't been exposed to things like that and neither have I. 

These case scenarios are awesome! Keep 'em coming. I've learnt a lot out of them, even if its just being aware of possible communication gabs between us therapists.

17 minutes ago, Invincible said:

I also like the idea of a specific forum for the Virgin Therapists. If that is something the rest of you would be in favor for, then maybe I will set it up.

To be honest, I'm not sure if a separate forum would be beneficial. I don't know how others browse the forum but I rarely browse by forum but rather by the unread content stream. If there is a forum people may be less likely to start the thread with "Virgin Therapists:" [though this could be specified in the forum's sticky! in which case, yes, I'm for it] thus the case scenarios would be less obvious in the "new/unread content" streams. 

Maybe ensuring the title starts with "Virgin Therapists:" and has a Virgin Therapists tag [as @Naturallyhas done] is the better option?? The existence of this tag could be mentioned in some Introduction to the Forum sticky. Actually does such a sticky exist?....

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1 hour ago, Ringer said:

Im' usually right about most things

I'm sure your wife will love to hear this. 

1 hour ago, Ringer said:

but no one listens unless it's something they want to hear.

In which case, you could practice communicating issues with obstinate people....It's a good skill to have. If anything you could give us the opportunity to debate with someone who thinks they are right.

1 hour ago, Ringer said:

Im' usually right about most things, but no one listens unless it's something they want to hear. People only listen to what they want to hear unless they are smart then I know I've met someone who might be a good friend.

So if I'm smart, then I need to usually agree with you. "Hey wifey! Usually only stupid people disagree with me. But your smart right? Right?" ;)

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1 hour ago, 'tis the Bearded One said:

I'm sure your wife will love to hear this. 

In which case, you could practice communicating issues with obstinate people....It's a good skill to have. If anything you could give us the opportunity to debate with someone who thinks they are right.

So if I'm smart, then I need to usually agree with you. "Hey wifey! Usually only stupid people disagree with me. But your smart right? Right?" ;)

Lol. Glad someone gets the humor of my trolling.

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