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Geraldine

Be a mentor for your wife

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Hi guys :)

I've read this article written by a married christian man: William Djamen ...and I've found it really interesting. He talks about men being an inspiration and a mentor for their wives. I was wondering what guys on WTM think about this?

Are you agree with this man ? Is it your intention to be a mentor for your wife to be ?  If the answer is yes, what actions do you take today in order that can be possible in the future? 

Ok guys, thank you in advance :)

Géraldine

 

"

The day in wich a woman realises her potential and begins to manifest what God has dropped off inside her, her husband becomes as a rocket.

However, this doesn’t happen instantly. There is a work of patience, of mentor, of supporter that the man has to achieve around his wife in order that she can realise who she is.

TD Jakes was saying to men, to not be discouraged by the speed with wich their wives progress, because they could miss the best person she could become.

I think that every man has to be mature and be able to assist his wife, take out the best from her. To nourrish her of words of encouragements, to love her unconditionally, to create platforms where her potential will be exploided.

This is a revelation I give you, based upon my own life. A man who decides to assist his wife, to help her to take out the best from her, is a man that God will bless abundantly. I said, abundantly.

There are people that get discouraged quickly because of their wives, because they didn’t understand that God was trusting them to end the perfect work he had begun in their wives.

It is at this level that the woman becomes fully a « Helper », that means a similar help, as the Bible mentions in Genesis 2.

Everything needed to be bought, invested in order that the potential of my wife can be expanded, I buy it. If I don’t have money, I ask God, and as it is the perfect will of God that I cultivate the potential of my wife, God blesses me financially.

That’s why, at the beginning of a relationship, the woman has to make sure that the man wants to see the best comes out from her.

One thing I was doing when I met my wife, is that I wanted her to become a best person. I wanted her to improve her english, I wanted to ease her life. I wanted to build a hedge of protection around her.

That’s also with that, that a woman will know this man is the good one. He won’t have his eyes permanently upon her butt, but upon her potential.

 

 

 

 

 

When God gives you a wife, He is well aware, that she isn’t at the TOP. That’s why the Bible tells this :

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.

 

Ephesians 5v25-29

 

Be patient with your spouse.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

 

1 Corinthians 13v4-7

 

Don’t be discouraged  because of your spouse if he/she  doesn’t have the same speed as you, because you could miss the best person he/she could have been.

There are people who grow as the chinese bamboo. It stays during many years in deepness, whith deep roots, before growing up vertically in a spectacular way.

Everyone has his/her own rythm in life. If God has told you that it is your husband/wife, practice the love of God and help your spouse to grow. After the season of difficulties, there will be the season of unity.

That’s how you become one flesh.

At the beginning of marriage, some get discouraged because they don’t understand this principle. In order to become united, you have to get rid off the baggages of the past.

Baggages that are spiritual, emotional and behavioural.

Some drag in their marriages, things from their families of origin (angriness, selfishness, violences, materialism, traditionalism, seductions, stains).

.God has to clean all this by the fire in order that you become one flesh. That’s why some couples are disconnected, despite the fact they live under the same roof. Others, have each their own vision, wich brings division.

The woman doesn’t know she has to help, and even when she has to help, the man doesn’t know who he is.

Some are still tied by their past. They spend their time to dwell on the past, to nurture it and to maintain it.

When God joins you (and if it is God who have joined you), He knows you still have work to do on each other. That’s why He intervenes to cleanse you. Haven’t you noticed that God often joins opposites ?

If you are a maniac of tidying, He will send you someone who is an expert in disorder, in order that you can be more flexible.

If you are the kind of person enjoying walks, He will send you someone extremely homebird, in order to create balance in you.

If you are spendthrift, God can unify you with an extreme account manager.

It’s a kind of friction to bring union.

Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend. Proverb 17v27

 

Truth is that few couples have a prayer’s life together in the presence of God.

In a next article, I will talk about the necessity for a couple to pray together, in order to have a solid and victorious marriage.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I strongly recommand you to buy those two books on Amazon, powerful for the prayer of the couple, by Stormie Ormatian : The power of a praying husband and the power of a praying wife.

https://www.amazon.com/Power-Praying®-Husband-Stormie-Omartian/dp/0736957588

William Djamen"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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I know I'm not a guy, but I'm very confused. The first half of the article I got something completely different from what I got from the second half. :) I went from having the thought 'What!?!' to having the thought 'Oh, yes, that makes sense.' :)

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4 hours ago, PhotoGirl said:

I know I'm not a guy, but I'm very confused. The first half of the article I got something completely different from what I got from the second half. :) I went from having the thought 'What!?!' to having the thought 'Oh, yes, that makes sense.' :)

:lol::P

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25 minutes ago, Géraldine said:

:lol::P

:D Am I supposed to be as confused as I am? Was that somehow the point? :)

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4 hours ago, PhotoGirl said:

:D Am I supposed to be as confused as I am? Was that somehow the point? :)

ooops:lol:

Actually, nope:P the goal of this article wasn't to make you confused :P

I'm sorry if that is the case...

Honestly...I don't know how to make things clear...but I will try...

To sum up the opinion of William Djamen, he tries to explain that a husband has to be an example for his wife, and help her spiritually and in the other areas of her life. In short, he has to be a leader for her...A leader with love and compassion.

And when he realises the weaknesses in her, his role is not to put her down, but to pray with her and support her and encourage her...

Those are the main ideas...

I hope it helps you and clarifies a little bit :)

 

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26 minutes ago, Géraldine said:

ooops:lol:

Actually, nope:P the goal of this article wasn't to make you confused :P

I'm sorry if that is the case...

Honestly...I don't know how to make things clear...but I will try...

To sum up the opinion of William Djamen, he tries to explain that a husband has to be an example for his wife, and help her spiritually and in the other areas of her life. In short, he has to be a leader for her...A leader with love and compassion.

And when he realises the weaknesses in her, his role is not to put her down, but to pray with her and support her and encourage her...

Those are the main ideas...

I hope it helps you and clarifies a little bit :)

 

Thank you for clarifying his thoughts. I understand, now. I don't agree with most of it, such as needing a man to realize our weaknesses for us and to help us anymore than they need us to do that for them. Part of my reasoning is that we are not guaranteed a mate. So, if we do not find a mate we are capable, as men and women of God, to pray on our weaknesses and work on them ourselves. We, as women, were made as helpmates, yes, but that doesn't mean just to a man. Nor does it mean unequal...which, unless I am misunderstanding, if a man needs to help us realize our weaknesses, and guide and support us to fulfill our potential.

However, this doesn’t happen instantly. There is a work of patience, of mentor, of supporter that the man has to achieve around his wife in order that she can realise who she is.

TD Jakes was saying to men, to not be discouraged by the speed with wich their wives progress, because they could miss the best person she could become.

I think that every man has to be mature and be able to assist his wife, take out the best from her. To nourrish her of words of encouragements, to love her unconditionally, to create platforms where her potential will be exploided.

This is a revelation I give you, based upon my own life. A man who decides to assist his wife, to help her to take out the best from her, is a man that God will bless abundantly. I said, abundantly.

The way I read this is that men go into a realationship fully ready and whole in God and faith, where women on the other hand need him to realize her faith and potential as a woman. What I'm saying is is that I've taken something totally different from the verses he referred to...

 

When God gives you a wife, He is well aware, that she isn’t at the TOP. That’s why the Bible tells this : (My 'WHAT!?!' Moment, and how I read these two passages differently that he does, apparently.)

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.

 

Ephesians 5v25-29

 

Be patient with your spouse.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

 

1 Corinthians 13v4-7

 

However, AFTER those verses it feels like the tone changes to one where the two are more equal and balance each other...working together, even helping EACH OTHER realize weaknesses. This was where I started agreeing and it made sense to what I believe, and have been taught, of men and women and what we should be to each other. Allowing a man to lead doesn't mean he needs to teach us as though we are less than and need fixing. If that were the case then I might never be fully who I should be because I may never marry.

I'm sorry, my point that I was trying to make is that from the first part to the second I got confused and I was pointing out why. :) Thank you for sharing this. Even though I am not a man, it does make me think...even if I don't agree in whole. :)

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On 24/03/2017 at 3:26 AM, PhotoGirl said:

Thank you for clarifying his thoughts. I understand, now. I don't agree with most of it, such as needing a man to realize our weaknesses for us and to help us anymore than they need us to do that for them. Part of my reasoning is that we are not guaranteed a mate. So, if we do not find a mate we are capable, as men and women of God, to pray on our weaknesses and work on them ourselves. We, as women, were made as helpmates, yes, but that doesn't mean just to a man. Nor does it mean unequal...which, unless I am misunderstanding, if a man needs to help us realize our weaknesses, and guide and support us to fulfill our potential.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts :)

I totally agree with you on this ! :) 

Actually, I think you are in agreement with William Djamen too XD :lol: 

I think you have misunderstood a little bit the first part of the article ;)

Of course, as women of God, we are called to be dependent on God alone...and to adress Him our prayers whenever we need help to work on our weaknesses.  It's very dangerous for a woman to be dependent on a man in order to go further in her life... I don't advice that to anybody...and that's not the point of this article.

In this article, William Djamen talks about the specific case of a married woman. And he talks about the role of a husband towards his wife in a biblical way. He doesn't talk about women who are not married yet.

He simply explains what the Bible says : that the husband has to act towards his wife, as Jesus did towards the church ( church equals all the believers in Jesus in the world)

That means a husband has to love his wife, sacrifice for her, understand her, guide her and so on... But a husband, even if he does the best he can do, should never take the place of God in the heart of his wife. The reverse is also true.

On 24/03/2017 at 3:26 AM, PhotoGirl said:

The way I read this is that men go into a realationship fully ready and whole in God and faith, where women on the other hand need him to realize her faith and potential as a woman. What I'm saying is is that I've taken something totally different from the verses he referred to...

Nope :lol:

That's not what he meant....He was trying to say to men that even though their wives aren't perfect and do some things that disappoint them, they should persevere and don't give up to their wives...he said that because unfortunately, some men (not all of them, and thank God for that :) )  begin to be very mean to their wives once they discover new areas of weaknesses in them ....so his point was to tell to the men : "Be like Jesus, don't given up on her, pray for her and support her"

On 24/03/2017 at 3:26 AM, PhotoGirl said:

However, AFTER those verses it feels like the tone changes to one where the two are more equal and balance each other...working together, even helping EACH OTHER realize weaknesses. This was where I started agreeing and it made sense to what I believe, and have been taught, of men and women and what we should be to each other. Allowing a man to lead doesn't mean he needs to teach us as though we are less than and need fixing. If that were the case then I might never be fully who I should be because I may never marry.

Yes, I agree and actually...that was his point of view since the beginning of the article...but you have interpreted the first part of the article in another way :)

On 24/03/2017 at 3:26 AM, PhotoGirl said:

I'm sorry, my point that I was trying to make is that from the first part to the second I got confused and I was pointing out why. :) Thank you for sharing this. Even though I am not a man, it does make me think...even if I don't agree in whole. :)

No need to apologize here :) I perfectly understand and I thank you for having been honest and for having shared your point of view :)

It seems that we have the same actually :)

 

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