Beastar625

Trying this site out again

9 posts in this topic

Hi I am Seth, 30 year old male, from New Jersey and I am looking for new friends male or female and hopefully a life partner who is a female who is a virgin like me. I am a fun person who loves affection and compassionate and kind. I am a virgin i never found the right person to be that intimate with. I have never been in a relationship before.

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So I slept on what i wrote and realize that I don't know what i want because i am a virgin mostly due to fear of rejection and so i never even had the opportunity to get close to a woman. I like it to remain that way until i met the right woman but i think waiting for a ceremony to tie the knot is not for me so i am wondering if i really belong here maybe i should again delete my account? I do believe in real love but don't really believe it must be proven with an outwardly ceremony i feel that it would be nice to have one but it's not mandatory. Wow i feel so uncomfortable about my needs here but the thing is this was the only website where virgins were safe but even i as a struggling male virgin don't really feel safe because I don't even feel good enough for this website so please correct me if i am wrong or administrators tell me it is best to cancel my account 

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Welcome to the forum. No need to leave because of your views expressed so far. A marriage does not require a "wedding" though there are many good reasons to combine the two.

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Hi Seth. :) Welcome to the forum!

There's a lot of variety of "waiters" on the forum, some waiting until commitment or meeting the right person, so it sounds like you'll fit right in. I hope you feel comfortable and find the support you need here. We are happy to have you!

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I commend you for being a waiter, so don't discredit that strength. I would very much like to know what you mean by rejection in your statement "im a virgin mostly due to fear of rejection and so i never even had the opportunity to get close to a woman." Rejection of the physical or mental/emotional? Because if someone rejects you, that is not love; and love, friendship, and acceptance are the pillars of a healthy relationship. You must strive for friendship before ever starting a relationship. So get "close" to women by being a friend first, not with the end goal of obtaining a relationship, or else you're setting yourself up for failure. If your gal friend ends up having feelings for you, only then should you continue to pursue the friendship into a relationship. If she just wants to remain friends, then heck, you got yourself a wing girl. I personally don't believe in the "right" person. It's good to know exactly want you want in a partner, but no one is perfect. If you set up an ideal image in your head and the person you are with doesn't hit all the marks, that shouldn't result in ending a relationship. You have to work with that other person to make things work. It shouldn't be one-sided. In other words, when you're in that particular relationship, you make it "right." 
We think differently, but I will not discredit your values. I personally believe that the end goal of a relationship is marriage. In other words, people should date to marry, not for any other reasons, like filling a void or what not. Being a Christian, marriage is a sacrament and should be celebrated by friends and loved ones, because it's not only uniting the couple (and God), but also the families, which is beautiful. I obviously can't change your mind on what you value or not, but I can be a vessel to suggest on what aspects to think about in the grand dimension of the concept of marriage. I suggest retrospection and introspection on why you are waiting in the first place. Like I would like to know why marriage isn't necessarily something you find "necessary." 
Again, in no way am I discrediting any of your values. I am just simply curious. And maybe thinking about these types of questions will help you validate your morals or help you seek more out of the whole realm of relationships, marriage, and sex. Cheers!

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Welcome to the site Seth! Like it was said before, there are waiters of all types on here, don't be afraid to belong here :)

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Welcome. People here have many reasons, and views, on waiting and what it means. Hopefully you will find the support you are looking for here, as I have the utmost confidence in my fellow WTMers to give it. :)

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