PG1

Odd Relationship Start...

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Hey everyone. So, it's been a really really long time since I've been around too much...and an even longer time since I've posted. That being said, this post is just to share an update of my story. I've met someone. Okay, to be fair 'met' is relative in our relationship. Let me explain, long story short but I'll tell more if there are questions...6 years ago, give or take a few months, I contacted him on a dating site, but just to befriend him as he's from another country. We were both looking or friendship or whatever, and he sounded very cool. So, I wasn't really expecting him to respond, but he did. That being said...we talked everyday, multiple times throughout, for about a year or so and then on and off for another 6 months or so. We were on facebook together, and all. He'd been going through something, and it had affected our friendship. Anyway, he ended up deleting me on facebook. Jump ahead about 4 years, and I get one of the facebook memories...and it was one he'd liked. I really hadn't forgotten about him. I'd wondered about him, and was kind of afraid to do what I did next...I clicked on his profile. I PMd him and asked him how he was doing. I really wasn't sure what to expect. A few days later, I received one back. I was thrilled. For 2 months we talked, flirting with not only each other, but the idea of being together. He'd told me that he'd tried to follow me on facebook, but was always too afraid to contact me because of what he'd said to me before, but he'd never forgotten me (later I'd find out that he'd even kept everything that was in a package I'd sent to him before...EVERYTHING, INCLUDING THE BOX) and that when he got my message he was so happy he snuck away at work to respond because he couldn't wait. He even said that he figured that I'd be taken by now, so when he found out otherwise he was ecstatic. So, today we've been officially together for 2 months, our families and friends know, and I've 'met' his kids through video chats. We've fallen in love quickly it might seem, but add in the very beginning and it's really not that quick it's just the feelings were already there waiting, and plan on meeting as soon as we can and starting the marriage process. For now, we are stuck with facebook messenger, mail, and skype/video chat. It's very difficult. Sometimes painful, but worth it. I've never felt anything like this. We talk about EVERYTHING...and I do mean everything. So, you may think this is odd...I do...but I'm telling you this to help in the 'is there anyone out there for me?' question. Sure, I don't believe EVERYONE has a mate waiting but what I do believe, now, is that we should never limit ourselves as to the HOW it might happen. I'm posting this now, instead of sooner, because I'm not looking for advice, or criticism. Discussion, sure...questions, yeah...but I feel like this could be a good discussion because it is such a strange start to a relationship. I'm sure I've left some crucial parts out, but I'll add them if I think of any.

Please, feel free to ask me anything. I don't mind. 

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That's a really sweat story. I'm happy for you, and good luck!

I do have a question. For me, talking online is nothing like talking in person. It seems like I have no personality when I read my conversations with people. Well, not really no personality, but I am a much simpler version of myself. The way I talk, behave, get exited, get mad, etc is nothing like typing online, and I feel like if I actually met people IRL, they'll think I'm completely different than they thought I would be. Even the way you converse seems different. IRL, when I talk, I just ramble away about different things, because I talk a lot (when I'm comfortable), but you can't do that online. I have to think about what to say, so I don't sound unintelligent, boring, or weird. I don't think online/ long distance dating is something I would do.

Anyway, my question is was it like this for you when typing to each other, and how was it different from Skyping? How do you feel it will be when you actually meet?

Congratulations again ^_^

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Well, it certainly isn't for everyone and, yes, typing things out is very different from IRL or even Skyping. You can really only get a small part of a person with emails. However, given time, even that will become a more broad view of that person, because over time you have to come up with more and more to talk about. The one thing I will say is that it won't work this way with just ANY person. The other person has to be in as much as you are. They have to be willing to take things at a slower pace, because that's what something like this requires...pace, and time.

The first time he and I started talking it was because I was just looking for friends from different parts of the world, and I contacted him...in part, because he is attractive, but mostly because he sounded like an awesome person to know. Being that it was, primarily, a dating site, I didn't really think he'd respond. He did, though. So we talked. Practically all day, every day, anytime either of us had a chance to respond. After a little while you stop worrying about how you sound, because you're just talking...and HE (or she) is, more importantly, RESPONDING. If you weren't interesting, do you think they keep responding? Nope. They'd cut it off. So, this time, we did this for approximately a year and a half. We started having some heated discussions, at that point. He was going through some spiritual issues, and my views weren't helping him. He pushed me away. (I found out, a few months ago, that I wasn't the only one he'd pushed away...also, once he was starting to reevaluate things, he was upset with himself for doing that to me and was too afraid to contact me because of what he'd said to me, but he'd tried to keep up, and kept thinking about it.) So, anyway...That brings us to about 4 months ago. His name popped up on one of my memories...and my heart flip flopped. I wondered about him from time to time, but when I saw his name...oh, I just could not help myself, I HAD to put myself out there and see what he was up to...if he'd talk to me. So, I PMd him. A couple of days later, when I was thinking that he never would, I got one back. We started talking...just like before, but BETTER. It was like he'd gone through a complete transformation. I'd changed, too, but him...oh, HE HAD gone through a lot and had changed a lot in his life...even though new, he'd found his faith, again. After a few weeks, we were talking and he let something slip that he'd always liked me. We started talking about that. Turns out, the talking we did back then...about the fantasy of being together...was real feelings. It's just that neither of us was ready. Now, we are.

Enter Skype. Now, we use to talk about skyping, but I was never ready. This time...I decided to start with a video. So, I sent him one, not telling him I was doing it. Then, he sent one back...and we did that for a couple of weeks. Then, I decided I was ready to actually see him, face to face. I really didn't expect that first Skype session to go too well. Oh boy! Was I wrong. I'm not even sure how long we talked for, but it was HOURS! Since then, we've still chatted all day, but we've Skyped nearly every day. For hours, or minutes.

I guess, what I'm getting at, is it's not something that you set out to look for. It just happens. Something to remember when emailing? Just try not to think too much about it what you're saying, but more on HOW you're typing it to come across...using punctuation is key. Taking the time to reread and see it through someone elses eyes. When you're ready, try Skyping...it's a lot easier to get to know peoples reactions when you can see them.

For me, I think the distance was why I was able to open up. It's a bit of a long story, in itself, but having only communication is why we are so connected. It's why I've fallen so fast and opening my heart up...the distance is hard. VERY. Still, true love is rarely easy, and if it were easy everyone would have it.

I'm not sure I covered everything...there's so much to say. :)

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Oh, I forgot to answer one part of your question... how do I think it'll be when we meet? Well, at first, I thought it'd be awkward. Now? Now, I can't even allow myself to wonder what it will be like if we DON'T meet. He's the one for me. I think I'm going to run into his arms for a hug and it's going to be fine. He feels like home to me.

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Thank you for the response. I agree. It's probably a matter of finding the right person, whether it be a friendship or dating. If it was meant to be, you'll click, and if you talk long enough, you'll learn more about each other (Same as real life, I suppose). If not, then just move on. I do believe it can be more difficult in some ways and might require a different approach

The progression of your relationship seems like the right way to go in this situation. Messaging, then Skype/ phone calls, and then meeting in person. 

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7 hours ago, Faeries said:

Thank you for the response. I agree. It's probably a matter of finding the right person, whether it be a friendship or dating. If it was meant to be, you'll click, and if you talk long enough, you'll learn more about each other (Same as real life, I suppose). If not, then just move on. I do believe it can be more difficult in some ways and might require a different approach

The progression of your relationship seems like the right way to go in this situation. Messaging, then Skype/ phone calls, and then meeting in person. 

You are very right. It does require a different approach. :) As it is said, though, if you keep trying something using the same approach you'll just keep getting the same results. So, if given the opportunity to change something...well, you never know, so what's the harm? :)

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Hey Liz,

    Congratulations on meeting this guy and thank you for telling me your story. It makes me feel better not only that I am not alone in "is there someone for me" but it gives me hope that there is a person who I can also really have a great connection with. You are an inspiration! I hope the best for you. Thanks for your update.

-Chris

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Congratulations and thanks for sharing :) I hope everything goes well. Your excitement is tangible from here!

How do you think it will go with his kids, taking the role of stepmother?

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On 1/2/2017 at 6:51 AM, 'tis the Bearded One said:

Congratulations and thanks for sharing :) I hope everything goes well. Your excitement is tangible from here!

How do you think it will go with his kids, taking the role of stepmother?

Thank you. Yes, I've never loved anyone, or been loved, like this before... it's thrilling.

Anyway, his kids like me, but I'm going to be little more than a friend to them as they are almost 14 and almost 12. By the time he and I are able to actually start the rest of our life together, they will be grown. I've skyped with them, too, and they'll be great bonus kids. Practically every weekend he has them, I hang out with them. They like me. We have fun together. I'll pretty much just be a stepmother in label, maybe friend. Both of their parents are in their life, and they work like a well oiled machine in raising them. Not that I'd have a problem being a stepmother, but they won't need me for that.

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congratulations and I hope all the best for you.

from my view of life , relationships ,trust and love built up by interaction between two persons in the time of calm and in anger which is the crucial part.

so judging personality of a person by apps is hard concept ! friendship then meeting in real life could show you the reality and nature of a person.

6 years !!! oh my god.

so i have questions for you 

is he clearly planning to marry you ?

have you visited or planning to visit his country ?

I hope it has awesome nature :D

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3 hours ago, baa22 said:

congratulations and I hope all the best for you.

from my view of life , relationships ,trust and love built up by interaction between two persons in the time of calm and in anger which is the crucial part.

so judging personality of a person by apps is hard concept ! friendship then meeting in real life could show you the reality and nature of a person.

6 years !!! oh my god.

so i have questions for you 

is he clearly planning to marry you ?

have you visited or planning to visit his country ?

I hope it has awesome nature :D

Well, I'd agree with you that interaction is important...but the type of interaction that is important is, clearly, a matter of opinion :) You see, the only thing we DON'T have is the physical aspect, and we do manage to get around that in some personal ways. Not to mention we discuss everything. So, yeah, we have plenty of interaction. We don't agree on everything, we have some arguments, but very mild. We agree on the most important things, and the stuff that we don't we usually come close enough that we can agree to disagree with ease. We've had both good and bad times, already.

To answer your questions...

Yes. He is CLEARLY planning to marry me. He has stated as much, and has asked that we start looking into what we must do. He has also started looking at rings. He has even asked me, but we have agreed that it won't be completely official until he can slide his ring on my finger.

No. I have not visited him, yet. Though, I do plan to. I have very limited funds, and he is saving for him and his kids to come here first...then we will work together for my trip there.

You see, we've made a commitment, and have decided that that means we work as a team. We take each other into consideration on things, and there have been some PRETTY BIG THINGS...especially on his end. They are very personal, so I can't discuss them, but he told me that he wouldn't do it if I told him that I didn't want him to. He is already a part of my family. Whenever we skype, he interacts with anyone who is around...especially my nephews.

Please, feel free to ask anything. I am very ok with it, because I KNOW he's the one. I never would have believed I would say that, but I am...He is THE ONE.

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oh ;)

wow I thought my question pretty much harch !

however since you are open to answer I believe this a good thing, basically you have faith in him.

so, when you finally meet him and live together for a month then I would be happy to ask you again, i am going to save  questions for later.

I wish you happy life :D

 

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So...I have just a little update. I kind of wanted to share this part simply because it'll show just how real what S (I'll just all him S) and I have. A couple of weeks ago...2 weeks ago tomorrow, in fact...I asked him question, which I intended to only be in fun, and he answered honestly. I tried to be ok with it, and I was at first. Then I over thought it. Not a good idea. I got a little upset and decided I needed to think. Well, the way I handled it made him a little upset, and he was already sick, so he ended up not talking to me for a couple of days. I realized over that time that I handled it wrong, and apologized. It took him a few days to come around, but we did end up discussing it all. Talked it all out, and through all of that, some other thoughts and fears came out. One of those was him asking himself if he was really in love with me, and thinking that if he was asking that question he must not be...but you know what? Emotions are a funny thing, and intense ones are even more so. It's nearly impossible to keep up the level of excitement that we had in the beginning all of the time. I even asked some friends who've been together, or married, for long periods this question...Do you ALWAYS FEEL the love, or are there times when you know you do, but you don't FEEL it, and it's a decision that you make? As I suspected, they said that sometimes it IS a decision. There will be days, longer periods even, when you may not even LIKE this person, they'll annoy you, anger you, make you wish you were single, but, in the end, if the love and good times far outweigh the other times, then yeah you make the decision to love them even when you don't feel it. So, we realized we had been honest about ALMOST everything...but we'd been afraid to share our fears about our odd relationship. Anyway, we talked, and talked, and talked some more. Towards the end of the week we had gotten so much out of our systems, and we had learned a few things not only about ourselves individually, but as a couple. You see, I've always believed that some days are a choice to love. I knew I loved him, and I know it now. Still, there are days, on occasion, where he annoys me at times. We have finally gotten back to where we were, but better. Today, we even had a discussion about valentines day, and with his past he was thinking he HAD to do certain things...So, I spelled out my feelings and he listened.

I guess what I'm getting at, the reason I'm sharing this, is that I'm no expert...oh goodness, by far am I not an expert...but I am learning. The one thing I did know, and am finding to be the most important thing, under love, is communication and work (side by side). Don't underestimate the power of those two things working together. Communicate, and be with some who WANTS to work through it because they think YOU are worth the work. From what I've observed, and what I've been told by friends, relationship are not easy all of the time, you have to be willing to work at it, and stick around when things are rough. I know it's been said, it's nothing you haven't heard, but it bears repeating.

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I too am in a long distance relationship where we met online. We however, didn't become official until we met in person twice. It was my rule. I wanted our first meeting to be as friends and the second meeting I allowed him to ask me on a date and it was awesome :) But how you do it, is a decision between the two of you. I just wanted to share my experience. 

When you first meet him in person, it's a bit of a shock to the system. All of a sudden things get really real and almost surreal at the same time. We both had to adjust. I remember asking him if I looked the same and he was kind of speechless and couldn't explain it and I got insecure but later he told me it was a good thing though so it worked out. lol 

I wish you the best and I've been cheering you guys on from the sidelines since I relate to your love story so closely. Our successes can encourage each others. 

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Let me just start this by saying that I'm not convince that some good and lasting can't start this way. However, I am now experiencing my first heartbreak, ever. I've never been in love before, and most people go through this sort of thing when they are young or relatively youngish (20s). I'm actually terribly embarrassed that I ever even came on here and shared my story because I actually thought he wanted what I did. I know he suffers from a few mental illnesses, and it may have been one of those talking, but we are no longer, nonetheless. So, I'm not saying I don't think things like this can last. Really, I still do. I guess the only thing I might do differently is try and slow my feelings some, rather than just letting them flow as I did. I'd keep them in better check. So, yeah... I'm... well, I'm not doing well.

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Hey Liz,

     I am sorry to hear it :(. I don't have words on what you experienced. It is just sad and you have every right to not feel well. Thank you though for sharing your story with us and I do realize it must have been terribly embarrassing to do so. However, your story has helped me in some ways.

Hang in there, :).

-Chris

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57 minutes ago, PhotoGirl said:

Let me just start this by saying that I'm not convince that some good and lasting can't start this way. However, I am now experiencing my first heartbreak, ever. I've never been in love before, and most people go through this sort of thing when they are young or relatively youngish (20s). I'm actually terribly embarrassed that I ever even came on here and shared my story because I actually thought he wanted what I did. I know he suffers from a few mental illnesses, and it may have been one of those talking, but we are no longer, nonetheless. So, I'm not saying I don't think things like this can last. Really, I still do. I guess the only thing I might do differently is try and slow my feelings some, rather than just letting them flow as I did. I'd keep them in better check. So, yeah... I'm... well, I'm not doing well.

Hey beautiful and sweet Photogirl, I just wanted to thank you for having shared your story with us.

And I feel you, I feel your pain...

We are human beings and we all do mistakes and most of us crave for a deep beautiful romantic relationship...So I perfectly understand why you were so excited and why you were so enthusiastic about this story...

However, even if it's very painful now, you can learn lessons from this. I think Nicole Nova gave a good advice when she said "They didn't become official until they met in person" and she also shared other great advices.

Don't feel embarrassed pretty girl ^^

It's not the end of the world for you : you are beautiful, smart and young. You can still meet a great guy with whom you can write a beautiful love story. :)

I pray for you so you can be comforted and that you can come out stronger than ever before, thanks to this story. 

Nothing happens by  coincidence, and if you went through this, it's because you had something to learn from it. 

I also went through painful experiences during my life, and even though I didn't appreciate the pain, I'm thankful today for having experienced all this, because it made me who I am today : more confident, wiser, stronger and so on... I've learned from my mistakes and I'm full of joy today.

I pray the best for you and I send my sincere warmful thoughts.

I send a warm hug also :)

You're not alone

Hang in there....And if you feel like talking, don't hesitate to message me.

I would be more than happy about that

Blessings for you

Edit: I wanted to add that, as girls, we have the tendancy to let our emotions talk quickly and it's important that we learn to master that...it's not always easy to do...but important...I know it's easier to say than to do...but when we try, we manage to do it. What I mean is before we become attached emotionally to someone, we have to evaluate his degree of commitment in the relationship...in order that we don't end up with disappointment....I know that I have done some mistakes in this area also...and I'm not a machine so those things can happen. But we can try to avoid them

 

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I really appreciate your words. Thank you.

Honestly, I don't think it would have been so horrible if he had done it better. It would have hurt, sure, but I would have been able to get closure. As far as my feelings? You do have a very good point. Except that, for me, it didn't really happen fast. No really. We were friends for years before...then we didn't talk for a while, but we picked right back up. We were friends. I had no doubt in my head that I could trust his feelings, and that he genuinely missed me and regretted not talking to me. He had even kept everything I'd sent to him years before, box and stale koolaid and all. He didn't get rid of anything. He suffers from some mental issues, so I'm not sure that's not what this was, but I can't do anything about it...and it'll probably be in my best interest in the future, as I'm an empath.

On February 12, 2017 at 2:39 PM, Géraldine said:

Hey beautiful and sweet Photogirl, I just wanted to thank you for having shared your story with us.

And I feel you, I feel your pain...

We are human beings and we all do mistakes and most of us crave for a deep beautiful romantic relationship...So I perfectly understand why you were so excited and why you were so enthusiastic about this story...

However, even if it's very painful now, you can learn lessons from this. I think Nicole Nova gave a good advice when she said "They didn't become official until they met in person" and she also shared other great advices.

Don't feel embarrassed pretty girl ^^

It's not the end of the world for you : you are beautiful, smart and young. You can still meet a great guy with whom you can write a beautiful love story. :)

I pray for you so you can be comforted and that you can come out stronger than ever before, thanks to this story. 

Nothing happens by  coincidence, and if you went through this, it's because you had something to learn from it. 

I also went through painful experiences during my life, and even though I didn't appreciate the pain, I'm thankful today for having experienced all this, because it made me who I am today : more confident, wiser, stronger and so on... I've learned from my mistakes and I'm full of joy today.

I pray the best for you and I send my sincere warmful thoughts.

I send a warm hug also :)

You're not alone

Hang in there....And if you feel like talking, don't hesitate to message me.

I would be more than happy about that

Blessings for you

Edit: I wanted to add that, as girls, we have the tendancy to let our emotions talk quickly and it's important that we learn to master that...it's not always easy to do...but important...I know it's easier to say than to do...but when we try, we manage to do it. What I mean is before we become attached emotionally to someone, we have to evaluate his degree of commitment in the relationship...in order that we don't end up with disappointment....I know that I have done some mistakes in this area also...and I'm not a machine so those things can happen. But we can try to avoid them

 

 

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7 hours ago, PhotoGirl said:

I really appreciate your words. Thank you.

Honestly, I don't think it would have been so horrible if he had done it better. It would have hurt, sure, but I would have been able to get closure. As far as my feelings? You do have a very good point. Except that, for me, it didn't really happen fast. No really. We were friends for years before...then we didn't talk for a while, but we picked right back up. We were friends. I had no doubt in my head that I could trust his feelings, and that he genuinely missed me and regretted not talking to me. He had even kept everything I'd sent to him years before, box and stale koolaid and all. He didn't get rid of anything. He suffers from some mental issues, so I'm not sure that's not what this was, but I can't do anything about it...and it'll probably be in my best interest in the future, as I'm an empath.

 

I'm happy if you have found a little bit of encouragements from my words :)

And after your detailed explanations, I understand that, indeed, there are some things in life that we don't have control over... For example , his mental issues...

And we can't give a rational explanation for everything.

I think you have tried your best to make things correctly: a deep friendship in a slow process (very good) plus all the other things you did...talks with some members of his family and so on...

I'm sorry to hear that it was a brutal end and that it's difficult for you to get closure...

I really don't know what to say to comfort you. I know that whenever I go through painful moments in life, I ask God to comfort me and to help me understand His will in the midst of the storm. So that's my prayer for you.

God is the only one who totally fulfills my life and makes me happy and I pray it can be the same for you.

Of course, a romantic relationship with a human being is a very beautiful thing, and I would welcome this with great joy. I guess it would be the same for you.

But I realised that many people who are in a romantic relationship, are not always totally happy. Because happiness doesn't come from a romantic relationship, or plenty of money or a great job or whatever...Of course, those things are good and they are blessings. But I understood that true happiness comes from a deep relationship with God.

I also know, that the fact of having a great relationship with God doesn't protect from problems or pain, or disappointment...But through all those things, I can always experiment a deep joy, true peace and hope. That's absolutely super natural. And that's what God does for those who put their trust in Him.

So...I pray the best for you beautiful girl. May you be comforted and strengtened in this delicate situation you go through currently.

The good thing is that this situation is temporary. You will manage to get over this and do something beautiful out of this.

After the rain, comes the sun.

Blessings :)

 

 

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Oh no! That's terrible! :(:( Breakups are such painful messy things. I'm sorry to hear it didn't work out. As tempting as it is for us to try and "solve" this hardship for you, to try and convince you that you'll get through it eventually so cheer up, I think there is a place for accepting the grief you are experiencing rather than trying to push it away, minimise it, or rationalise it as a blessing in disguise at this point in time. Breakups are painful. It they aren't, something would be quite wrong. Don't feel embarrassed, bad, or ashamed about it. Feel free to grieve; it's natural and healthy. Time and tears; take it at your own pace.

We haven't PMed but if you want to feel free to send me a message if you feel you need some support.

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8 hours ago, 'tis the Bearded One said:

Oh no! That's terrible! :(:( Breakups are such painful messy things. I'm sorry to hear it didn't work out. As tempting as it is for us to try and "solve" this hardship for you, to try and convince you that you'll get through it eventually so cheer up, I think there is a place for accepting the grief you are experiencing rather than trying to push it away, minimise it, or rationalise it as a blessing in disguise at this point in time. Breakups are painful. It they aren't, something would be quite wrong. Don't feel embarrassed, bad, or ashamed about it. Feel free to grieve; it's natural and healthy. Time and tears; take it at your own pace.

We haven't PMed but if you want to feel free to send me a message if you feel you need some support.

Thank you. Really. I was going to say a lot here, but I decided not to. Maybe I will take you up on that PM sometime. What I will say is that I have learned a lot from this, and I do think I had to go through this, specifically with someone like him to learn those lessons.

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On 15/02/2017 at 7:08 PM, PhotoGirl said:

Thank you. Really. I was going to say a lot here, but I decided not to. Maybe I will take you up on that PM sometime. What I will say is that I have learned a lot from this, and I do think I had to go through this, specifically with someone like him to learn those lessons.

I wanted to add something...I wanted to say that I've discovered an interesting article explaining that when we experience a great pain, generally, we go through 5 steps to reach healing. It's a process. So don't be too harsh on yourself if you still experience painful emotions from time to time. You will manage to overcome this.

I share the beginning of the article and I put the link below if you are interested to learn more.

Bye :)

 

"The stages of grief and morning are universal and are experienced by people from all walks of life, across many cultures. Mourning occurs in response to an individual’s own terminal illness, the loss of a close relationship, or to the death of a valued being, human or animal. There are five stages of grief that were first proposed by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in her 1969 book On Death and Dying.

The 5 stages of grief and loss are: 1. Denial and isolation; 2. Anger; 3. Bargaining; 4. Depression; 5. Acceptance. People who are grieving do not necessarily go through the stages in the same order or experience all of them. "

To read more:

https://psychcentral.com/lib/the-5-stages-of-loss-and-grief/

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2 hours ago, Géraldine said:

I wanted to add something...I wanted to say that I've discovered an interesting article explaining that when we experience a great pain, generally, we go through 5 steps to reach healing. It's a process. So don't be to harsh on yourself if you still experience painful emotions from time to time. You will manage to overcome this.

I share the beginning of the article and I put the link below if you are interested to learn more.

Bye :)

 

"The stages of grief and morning are universal and are experienced by people from all walks of life, across many cultures. Mourning occurs in response to an individual’s own terminal illness, the loss of a close relationship, or to the death of a valued being, human or animal. There are five stages of grief that were first proposed by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in her 1969 book On Death and Dying.

The 5 stages of grief and loss are: 1. Denial and isolation; 2. Anger; 3. Bargaining; 4. Depression; 5. Acceptance. People who are grieving do not necessarily go through the stages in the same order or experience all of them. "

To read more:

https://psychcentral.com/lib/the-5-stages-of-loss-and-grief/

Ah, yes...the stages...yeah, I'm experiencing a lot of them. Back and forth. I'm trying to move on, but this weight in my chest is rough. I'll get there, at least that's what my logical side is telling me. I'm just happy I have all of you. This place is the best for support.

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2 hours ago, PhotoGirl said:

Ah, yes...the stages...yeah, I'm experiencing a lot of them. Back and forth. I'm trying to move on, but this weight in my chest is rough. I'll get there, at least that's what my logical side is telling me. I'm just happy I have all of you. This place is the best for support.

I totally understand and that's perfectly normal...you're a human being...just go through the process at your own rythm...you will be ok without realising it.

It's not a categoric law, but specialists say, that usually it takes around 1 year to be healed emotionally after an emotional pain...it can be more or less. 1 year is an average. And it's normal to go through the process back and forth...

I'm happy that  you feel less alone with the community here ^^. You can do it. You will be ok soon ^^

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