Guest markb4

Girls who know they are "the other women"

19 posts in this topic

Hey gals,

Another question: How do y'all feel about women who have affairs w/married men, while knowing 100% that the man is married?

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Can't say I have any respect for the man and the woman. Both of them are doing a terrible thing. I think women who do that, do that for these reasons: she is in love with the man and hopes he will leave his wife, she finds it empowering to be the other woman, and she just wants to have sex with absolutely no regard for the lives she could be ruining. I think those three reasons are also why a man would sleep with a married woman. Either way, I think it is completely wrong. It is not empowering to the woman (or man) in any way, and they are being homewreckers. Not acceptable.

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Interesting post...

What do I think of these "women"? In a word: selfish. That's it. Regardless of the reason.

Some mistresses say that they couldn't help it, they 'fell in love' with a man who happened to be married. I totally get that people sometimes develop feelings for someone who isn't available. However, I am also a firm believer in the fact that it is a choice to get involved with a married person. You know right from wrong, and you choose to do wrong. There is no justification for it. Love (or lust) does not excuse the behavior.

As a woman, I put myself in the shoes of the (often times) unsuspecting wife. How would I feel finding out that my husband, the man who vowed to love only me, has been giving himself to another woman? I would be devastated. Why would I want to inflict that on someone else? Why? Selfishness...that's why! And, as a woman, what is attractive about a liar, a manipulator, a cheater? Are those favorable qualities? Really??

Whether it's low self-esteem, or just a plain old "I don't care" attitude, it is wrong. If I'm sleeping with a married man, I can't possibly have any self-respect. I have relegated myself to 'sloppy seconds', to the other woman.

How sad.

Mali

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What do I think of these "women"? In a word: selfish. That's it. Regardless of the reason.

Some mistresses say that they couldn't help it, they 'fell in love' with a man who happened to be married. I totally get that people sometimes develop feelings for someone who isn't available. However, I am also a firm believer in the fact that it is a choice to get involved with a married person. You know right from wrong, and you choose to do wrong. There is no justification for it. Love (or lust) does not excuse the behavior.

I completely agree with this. I think a lot of young women think it would be exciting and thrilling to be the other woman, but to it is just because of selfishness and insecurity. They want to be wanted/needed so badly that they will settle for a married man.

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omg Mark great question!! so here goes:

What do I think about "the other woman(men)"??? I think they're b*tches! That's what I think seriously. But, wait a second, the married man doesn't get off the hook so fast either. I think he's just as guilty or worse then "the other woman(men)." Why?? Because he has the ties and bond and committment to be faithful, not the mistress. He stepping out of the marriage, not the "@F#%$&*((%##^())&$#@#" whatever you wanna call her. I never knew how prevalent cheating is today in society, people of all sorts and status in life do it or have done it. Some get caught and some get away with it. I thought most couples fought but only really really terrible people cheat. Not true. How'd I find this out?? Through my sister's who are married. They told me that women love to make married men have affairs because like stated earlier because of the thrill, ruining a family, and whatever else but I just think they're plain biatches. Seriously. I used to want to be married when I just turned 21 because I was really sad at the time after the break up and what not. So my sisters (who were all with just their husbands) said I needed to know that while being married is nice, I should becareful. They gave me a book and oh did it open my eyes. The book is called "Love Must Be Tough." One of the best quotes in the book that I never forgot was, "Never Underestimate the Power of Sexual Chemistry." It talked about when a male is around a female (paticularly one to his liking) how dangerous it is. Boy, did it open my eyes and helped me understand so much about marriage and now, shoot when a man is married I look the other way or barely acknowledge him and make sure I'm extra respectful to the wife. Good Lessons.

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They gave me a book and oh did it open my eyes. The book is called "Love Must Be Tough." One of the best quotes in the book that I never forgot was, "Never Underestimate the Power of Sexual Chemistry." It talked about when a male is around a female (paticularly one to his liking) how dangerous it is. Boy, did it open my eyes and helped me understand so much about marriage and now, shoot when a man is married I look the other way or barely acknowledge him and make sure I'm extra respectful to the wife. Good Lessons.

That's pretty interesting OHG. Even though I am a guy, and your perspective is from a female point of view, I think it still has some merit. Thanks for sharing :).

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Spot on the guy should never get off the hook, as he's the one who took vows, now the women isnt any better but I think the guy is the one who should take more blame.

I remember when I was dating my gf at the time, whenever a preety girl came up to me or tried talking to me I one word answer them, since I didnt want to be that guy and continue the sterotype that all guys are pigs..... They probably thought I was a jerk but honestly chemistry starts with 2 things

1. if their attractive

2. if theirs chemistry when you talk

So obviously I cut out #2 to help me stay faithful :D which it worked!

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Spot on the guy should never get off the hook, as he's the one who took vows, now the women isnt any better but I think the guy is the one who should take more blame.

I remember when I was dating my gf at the time, whenever a preety girl came up to me or tried talking to me I one word answer them, since I didnt want to be that guy and continue the sterotype that all guys are pigs..... They probably thought I was a jerk but honestly chemistry starts with 2 things

1. if their attractive

2. if theirs chemistry when you talk

So obviously I cut out #2 to help me stay faithful :D which it worked!

I agree with what you say about the guy. I have seen about many situations where wives who have been betrayed attack the mistress, instead of blaming her two-timing husband. I have never understood that. What about the man who vowed to be faithful? Makes no sense.

Mali

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Cheating women, cheating husbands, either really gets me upset. Vows should always be respected, and to step outside of them makes me very upset. I don't have any sympathy for the woman that assists in their affairs either.

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I don't know if this sounds strange or not, but I instantly lose attraction for a guy when I know he is with somebody else in some way- may he tell me or if I see his wedding ring. I cant explain exactly how my attraction plummets to rock bottom, but it just does. I'm so thankful that I will never have wondering eyes. When I am with a guy, it's only him I see and want!

I hate both the cheating husband and the woman who knows it that is pursuing the affair with an undeniable fiery dirty passion. They both knew what they are getting into and intentionally don't respect the vows made in the name of marriage.

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I don't know if this sounds strange or not, but I instantly lose attraction for a guy when I know he is with somebody else in some way- may he tell me or if I see his wedding ring. I cant explain exactly how my attraction plummets to rock bottom, but it just does. I'm so thankful that I will never have wondering eyes. When I am with a guy, it's only him I see and want!

I hate both the cheating husband and the woman who knows it that is pursuing the affair with an undeniable fiery dirty passion. They both knew what they are getting into and intentionally don't respect the vows made in the name of marriage.

Honestly, what do you expect in this day and age where people hop from one person to the next as soon as something 'better' comes along. Marriage is just a meaningless charade for people that have spent a lifetime changing their partners like they would their underwear and probably done out of pressure to 'finally settle down'. Human nature tends to be very self-serving so it's important to read between the lines, someone's past actions will reveal alot more than their words (vows).

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It is sad and not something i agree with or respect in any way.......and here in Mexico it seems to happen a lot and sometimes even be accepted in a sense :(

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How it makes you feel. Speaking from a personal sense, it hurts. My dad did this too my mum, with my mums best friend, while she was in hospital. Which to me was pretty flipping low. I found out about it before my mum did, but its not something you want to go and tell your parent. You lose alot, if not all respect for the people, its something thats really hard to get back. But you do eventually learn that you have to grow up and be mature about it. Everyone does make mistakes. That doesn't EVER justify it. But holding onto all the anger, doesn't make you a better person.

But in a general sense, i don't have a lot of respect for women who do that, Especially if their are kids involved, because if i'm being honest, i don't think my younger brother, will ever respect my dad, like a son should a father.

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It is sad and not something i agree with or respect in any way.......and here in Mexico it seems to happen a lot and sometimes even be accepted in a sense :(

I hear that in "Latin America" men sleeping around or cheating is quite accepted. It's manly, supposedly, as a part of a general culture of 'machismo'. Of course, women who cheat or sleep around, well, you can guess.

I personally cannot stand cheaters, and I think cheating on your spouse is repulsive. I cannot condone adultery - and I'm not religious. It just feels wrong and disgusting to me. If I were to know someone has or is doing such things... well, I don't know I would handle it, but I guess I might just have some problems with the person. I'm not sure I would remain quiet about the behavior in case I knew.

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I hear that in "Latin America" men sleeping around or cheating is quite accepted. It's manly, supposedly, as a part of a general culture of 'machismo'. Of course, women who cheat or sleep around, well, you can guess.

I personally cannot stand cheaters, and I think cheating on your spouse is repulsive. I cannot condone adultery - and I'm not religious. It just feels wrong and disgusting to me. If I were to know someone has or is doing such things... well, I don't know I would handle it, but I guess I might just have some problems with the person. I'm not sure I would remain quiet about the behavior in case I knew.

I already have such respect for you for feeling the way you do! I hate cheaters with a dirty, hateful passion and if you've read anything else I have posted, then you would see that as... apparent.

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I hear that in "Latin America" men sleeping around or cheating is quite accepted. It's manly, supposedly, as a part of a general culture of 'machismo'. Of course, women who cheat or sleep around, well, you can guess.

yeah here there are a few hotels I've seen with thick dark strips of plastic or whatever that block the parking lot area so it hides who's cars are there so people can't see who may be there. so sad!!!!!!! Another thing that happens is a husband having a whole nother family for example in the USA and his first wife and family here,

adultery and cheating are not good at all. It is hurtful and disgusting in my opinion.

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Both parties involved are wrong, it can never just be the other woman. It is very hurtful, especially when you make vows with someone to be with them forever. What really gets to me about cheating is that afterwards you could come back together to work it out but what if it happens again? I know divorce is one of those things that some people disagree with, but I would rather have one than be with someone unfaithful. I suppose in some situations it could be worked out but I wouldn't want to be like Tiger Woods and his ex-wife Elin. He cheated on her way too many times with too many different women. I think that divorce is a sad and terrible thing but in their case I can't blame her for getting one.

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What fills me most w/anger are a man and woman who are married, then meet each other and "fall in love", and then divorce their respective spouses to marry each other. I can't describe how much that angers me!

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Both parties involved are wrong, it can never just be the other woman. It is very hurtful, especially when you make vows with someone to be with them forever. What really gets to me about cheating is that afterwards you could come back together to work it out but what if it happens again? I know divorce is one of those things that some people disagree with, but I would rather have one than be with someone unfaithful. I suppose in some situations it could be worked out but I wouldn't want to be like Tiger Woods and his ex-wife Elin. He cheated on her way too many times with too many different women. I think that divorce is a sad and terrible thing but in their case I can't blame her for getting one.

Statistics prove that once a man or a woman has cheated, it is bound to happen again. I believe it also said that 60% of cheaters are repeat offenders.

Reasons self proclaimed cheaters gave for their philandering:

- Their spouse/ girlfriend/ boyfriend forgave them in the past and they know they will be forgiven again.

- After being forgiven, they feel that they'd be least suspected to cheat again and take the opportunity.

-The thrill of cheating truly never ends.

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