Isn't sex supposed to be fun and playful, instead of what sex is shown in porn?

[DHZ 53]

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[CrystalFaerie 1,316]

(not a married waiter)

Sex is supposed to be whatever you want it to be. Want to have fun and playful sex? Go for it. Want to have slow, romantic sex? Go for it. Want to have rough, kinky, porn-style sex? Go for it. Whatever makes you and your partner happy (and is consensual) is what sex is supposed to be.

The main problem of porn isn't the type of sex that it depicts. It's the expectations. In real life, you don't get laid just by staying after class or fixing someone's plumbing. Girls (and guys) aren't there just to satisfy your every kink. Girls don't all have perfect curves, big breasts and no body hair. Guys don't all have six-packs, and they're not all massively well-endowed. All this is not realistic and often not respectful either.

Real sex should be down-to-earth and respectful of your partner. Beyond that, it can be whatever you both want it to be.

['tis the Bearded One 661]

^ Bearing in mind that not only are the bodies necessarily realistic but also the performances and the depicted pleasure. You also don't see the behind the scenes in porn - bodies get damaged: **vaginal/anal tearing, throat bleeding etc and strong painkillers are used to make painful sex acts pleasant** [Since this is not in VDA, highlight if you want to read the text in between the ** ]

[CrystalFaerie 1,316]

@'tis the Bearded One Wow! Good to know, I had no idea.

[Naturally 760]

Not a married waiter but I hope to god married sex is different from porn sex. Porn sex is horrendous. The only thing that appears to be connecting in porn sex is genitals - no emotional or spiritual connection, no dialogue, not even eye contact. 

I think it should be fun and playful... also loving, gentle, passionate, exciting, revitalizing, ethereal, vivacious, affectionate, emotive, entrancing, selfless, romantic, kinky - it should be everything two people want it to be.

[HeWhoWaits 176]

3 hours ago, Naturally said:

Not a married waiter but I hope to god married sex is different from porn sex. Porn sex is horrendous. The only thing that appears to be connecting in porn sex is genitals - no emotional or spiritual connection, no dialogue, not even eye contact. 

I think it should be fun and playful... also loving, gentle, passionate, exciting, revitalizing, ethereal, vivacious, affectionate, emotive, entrancing, selfless, romantic, kinky - it should be everything two people want it to be.

I'm sorry, you've reached your adjective limit.

[Naturally 760]

7 hours ago, HeWhoWaits said:

I'm sorry, you've reached your adjective limit.

lol

[Jgotmilk 171]

Also, I hope married sex involves eye contact, because eyes are the windows to your soul.  So, your souls are connecting and as your bodies connect.  I also hope that there is love and kindness and sincerity in my spouse's face, when we do make love.  Since, I'm sentimental, I'll probably say, "I love you" and "You're beautiful" a lot since, I find emotional connection very sexy.  But, that's just me though.

[WhikniFroggy 41]

I'd say that porn is to sex what IKEA is to master craftmanship.

Lots of "insert piece A into slot B, rotate, smile to yourself".

Adding to what @'tis the Bearded One said, it kills the emotion between people. It's purely utilitarianist. Take a person who's in a porn movie. Any person. I'm sure you can replace everything else by everything else, and it would make no difference.

 

One thing I'd reproach to porn, is that it perpetuates the same and overrated aspects : it's clichéd, it's fake, it's "farming feelings". I'll take a more NSFW description (overline this if you want to read it). You can look for acts, or for specifics things, for example "redhead oral". But darn, it looks like ordering from a catalogue! That's making sex something boring, only pleasure oriented. And it succeeds in making our society views on sex as "tick this if you did something". Sex isn't that. I'm not a married waiter, but I did read and study on the topic.

 

And besides, sex is nothing but a requirement, nowadays. I mean, how many of us here don't get the "if you didn't have sex at age XX" or "if you didn't do XXX" or "if you're not XXX you're a loser" society norms? Blast it. I'm not in for requirements. I'm in to be with a person!

 

Sex is supposed to be good. And I believe that WTMing makes it better!

[Guest]

Get married and find out yourself.