TtW

Celebrity Crush

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I was venting to someone I worked with once, and I told her I was afraid of getting in a relationship, because people lie and say they want you until there is something better. She proceeded to tell me about how she's faithful to her boyfriend. I then asked her about the hockey player on her phone background. She said he was just a crush and that she had opportunities to cheat and didn't take them. Then I asked if that hockey player asked her out would she cheat and she said yes but only for the money then she would come back to her bf. Maybe I took it the wrong way, but the way I saw it was she would come back after she had fun. I guess my question is how faithful are people really? If a person who was better in every aspect from looks and sex to money and fame wanted you, would you take them over your current relationship? And do you both have open crushes?

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Hello! This is an interesting question! You seem to be frustrated by how faithful people can be, which is certainly a valid and justified reason to be frustrated - considering the prevalence of infidelity.

However, there is reason to hope as well.

Relationships and marriage in particular do take time and work - there are times that I think my husband is the best man on the planet, and there are times that I get irritated about some minor things. The point is that both patience and strong morals are really underestimated in our fast-everything society. If we didn't have the patience to sit down and work through any disagreement, perhaps we would have worried about whether we married the 'right' person.

I wouldn't have married my husband if I didn't think he had an extremely strong ethical sense - and I suspect that he thinks the same way. If someone has strong morals, then the idea of cheating would be much more repulsive and 'crazy' than the idea of dealing with marital hurdles. 

 

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^ Hmmm interesting. I think that some small amount of physical attraction can sometimes happen to people after marriage, but  I would add that there are active steps that one can take to lower the development of any further attraction or emotional attachment - thus preventing infidelity. Examples of actions include not opening up/being vulnerable with certain people, cancelling out time with 'distractions' (including soft or hard core porn, or excessive amounts of romance movies that set unrealistic expectations etc), spending more time/communicating more with one's partner etc. In today's world, fidelity and other ethical behaviour require ethics but also the wisdom to examine and regularly reflect on one's actions and habits of thinking 

From observing others, I can conclude that cheating on one's partner doesn't happen overnight. There are small things - habits of thinking ('he/she never gives me gifts!' 'I wonder what life would be like with someone else) and small innocent actions ('innocent' friendships with others that include venting about one's partner) that can add up quickly into something big. Big mistakes can be further prevented by not being naive about the small things.

 

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Thank you both for your responses. She did say her boyfriend also had a girl from the walking dead on his phone. she said their limit was the unlock screen. She said once you unlock their phones it's them. However I still don't like that. I think too much into things sometimes, and symbolically it comes off as anyone can see my love for this celebrity, but only people close to me know I love the person I'm with. I know that sounds ridiculous but if I was with someone, I want them to be my crush. There will be other attractive people but hopefully only one lasting wife lol. I also think that you open more doors of temptation when you make more steps towards liking others. Attraction and lust might start small, but have slippery slopes.

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