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Geraldine

I didn't want to make a mistake in choosing my husband...

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Original french article written by Ludivine :

http://www.ellecroit.com/ne-voulant-pas-me-tromper-dans-le-choix-de-mon-mari/

 

There are many unhappy couples, and when one imagines his/her own wedding, we said  to ourselves that we will make sure it goes well. Normal, isn’t it? If we are Christian before being married, things seem simple: you marry a young kind Christian man and voila. That's what I thought. But I realized it was more complicated than that ...
How to marry the right one?
First I realized pretty young, marrying a non-Christian is not the best way to have a good marriage, I could see it, when I was a schoolgirl, guys did not necessarily have the same interests, the same way to have fun, as they say. At that time my mind was not very spiritual, it seemed logical to me to marry someone who had the same aspirations, if it could avoid arguments. It was decided: my husband would be like me, a Christian.
But over the years, I realized a sad fact, there were plenty of Christian marriages that did not seem to work ... And some "Christians" had little Christian attitudes. So I decided to add a string to my bow to put the odds on my side: marry a good Christian man, not just a Christian man! Definition of a good Christian man : a young man who has a good reputation, who seems to love Jesus, who does not come to church just because it's a family tradition etc…
This new string to my bow took a while, but it was also inadequate. New disappointing finding: good Christians intermarried and some couples, despite of being good christians, were struggling. Other divorcing. A reflection was imposed and a solution was found: Maybe was it a problem of "God’s will"? And if God had never intended that the two were together? This reflection was worthy to thougth about further .
 

But again it was a false trail: then I fell on a story that demoralized me. It was two young Christians, good Christians who wanted to do the will of God, who sincerely loved each other, who had done courtship  in the rules of art, waiting for the wedding to know each other intimately, they had done everything well, in my opinion. Yet, a few years after their marriage, their marriage went wrong, love had vanished and they wondered what they were doing together. It was a slap for me.
I am one of the people who think that it is better to be alone than in bad company. The marriage migth look good for others but it did not attract me, so since we had to get married one day, I wanted to be well accompanied! Subconsciously I was on the lookout for all sorts of rules that could make me not be unhappy in marriage, I noticed all the little subtleties that could help me not be wrong in choosing  Prince Charming. I wanted to leave nothing to chance to make that choice. But this last testimony was collapsing all my rules for making the right choice and having a good marriage.
A true lesson.
But that day I was "ripe" for the best lesson on this: whatever the rules, I am a human being and these rules do not guarantee me of being not wrong, of being deceived by someone who migth look nice. These rules did not guarantee me that while evolving together, my husband and I  would walked away from one another. That the circumstances of life would reveal things in us that would come to alter our love.
 

And that day I entrusted myself in God not in my rules. Not that these points are not good but they are not sufficient. I always wanted to marry someone who deeply loved God and not just a facade of Christian, and  so on. But my prayer was more a prayer of abandonment and humiliation, "Lord, I am not you, omniscient and perfect, I could be wrong despite all the warnings and my desire to do well. So I want to confide in you and not in my capacity to make good choices. In all stages, date, engagement, marriage, during marriage, I want to stay at your disposal to make the right choice and also everyday, to listen to you to be a good wife. This is not only a one time good choice but the daily choice of honor You through my marriage and evolve positively in the right direction, so that it continues to function. "
 

And you ? Did you follow the rules for your choice? If you are not married, how do you see things?

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