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Geraldine

The secret of happiness

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Original french article published here: http://moncouplemesrelations.com/2016/03/23/mon-mari-ne-ma-jamais-rendue-heureuse-et-il-ne-me-rend-pas-heureuse/

 

Translated in english by G.

 

Today I share a thought that I read on the Facebook profile of a friend girl, that reflect  what we often share on this platform: Never make anyone or anything as an idol. In reality, no one has the power to make you unhappy and / or miserable. Basically, we experience happiness based  on decisions, choices we make every day: the choice to love,  to forgive ... in short, the choice of obeying the divine principles (Psalm 1: 1 -3), the spiritual laws that God has established.
At a seminar devoted to couples at the University of Fresno (California), one of the speakers asked a woman in the audience: "Your husband makes you happy there? He makes you really happy? "
At that time, the husband looked up, totally confident. He knew that his wife would answer in the affirmative because she had never complained during their marriage. However, his wife responded with a "no" thundering "no"  very categorical ! "No, my husband does not make me happy! "Her husband was completely taken aback, but she continued:
"My husband never made  me happy and he does not make me happy! I am happy. "
"Being happy or not does not depend on him but me. My happiness depends on only one person: me. This is my decision that I will be happy in every situation and at every moment of my life, because if my happiness depended on someone, something or circumstance on the face of the earth, I would have serious problems.
Everything that exists in this life changes continually: humans, wealth, my body, climate, my will, pleasures, friends, my physical and mental health. In fact, the list is endless. I have to decide to be happy independently of everything else. My house to be full or empty: I'm happy! I go out accompanied or alone: ​​I am happy! I earn a good salary or not: I am happy!
I am now married but I was already happy single. I am happy with myself. I call "experiences" other things, people, moments, situations. They may or may not bring me moments of joy or sadness. When someone I love dies, I am a happy person who lives an inevitable moment of sadness.
I learn through transient experience and live out those that are eternal  such as love, forgive, help, understand, accept, comfort.
Some people say: today I can not be happy because I am sick, because I have no money, because it is very hot, because it is very cold because someone one insulted me, because someone does not love me, because I was not able to put myself in value, because my husband is not as I expected, because my children don’t make me happy, because my friends did not make me happy, because my work is uninteresting, and so on.
I love the life I live but not because my life is easier than the other. This is because I decided to be happy and I am responsible for my happiness. When I remove this obligation to my husband and to any other person, I release the weight to carry me on  off their shoulders. Their life is much lighter. And that's how I managed to have a happy marriage throughout these years. "
The moral of this story ? you guessed it: Never leave in the hands of another person such  a great responsibility to assume and create your own happiness. Be happy and glad, even when it's hot, even when you are sick, even when you do not have money even when a person has injured or hurt you, even when we do not love you or that one does not consider you to your true value. Good advice for women and men of all ages.
He who gets wisdom loves his own soul; He that keepeth understanding shall find good. (Proverbs 19: 8)
Who is the man who loves life, who wants to extend it to enjoy happiness? Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking deceit; Depart from evil, and do good; Search peace and pursue it. (Psalm 34: 14-15)
May God help us!
Aisha

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another nice article, tnx Geraldine! I try to encourage myself to be happy after i have been hurt in anyway but it takes quit some time and until then i still kind of blame my sadness on people and situations. I hear people say don't let anybody or thing determine your happiness,and i wonder how they do it so easily. I know am going to get it someday.....soon.

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I'm very happy this article was a very good help for you sheris :)

I totally do understand what you're going through...

 

Hmmm... Every human being upon earth has already been hurt at least once in his/her lifetime.

That's just a fact...

We can be hurt by people, by situations, by events... A lot of things can hurt and bother us througout life.

And whatever how nice you are, how smart you are, how able you are... things that are not pleasant can happen to anyone.

 

So what is the solution to be happy despite of this ?

 

As we are both believers in Jesus you and I, Jesus gave us the key to master everything in life.

So what you need to learn to do is to not stay in a position of a victim in your mentality, but in a position of a boss :D

It's easier to say than to do at first but I can guarantee you it works very well when you practice it and you are not alone.

Jesus will help you to do it. Because without Him it's impossible to do anything.

"[...]for apart from Me you can do nothing said Jesus"

 

So Jesus commanded us to love our ennemies, to pray for those who persecute us

 

But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you Matthew chapter 5 verse 44

so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven; for He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. Matthew chapter 5 verse 45

 

Actually, that's the attitude of a boss :D  Because when you do this, you are not acting as a victim but as a boss. Of course, people who hurt you and treat you bad on purpose are totally wrong... And be certain they will reap the consequences of their sin. God hates when people treat His children bad.

But our part as children of God is not to to lament upon ourselves, to become resentful, or bitter, or to seek revenge by our own means. God Himself will take revenge for us.

But for our own good, God asks us to not be concentrated on ourselves when we have been disappointed or hurt etc... but to be concentrated on the solution : praying for the other persons.

I can guarantee you it's powerful and it works and God fills you with so much joy, peace and understanding when you do this!

I hope my answer helps

Stay blessed precious sister :) 

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This post was very inspiring for me. I am currently trying to overcome hurts from my past. Everyday I tell myself I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Saying that out loud when I feel I am losing site of my happiness really helps. However this article just reinforced that and reminded me that true happiness lies within me not anyone else.

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