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Why do guys get "friendzoned" and is there anything you can do about getting out of this situation?

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I'd say just think about all the reasons you wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone and there's your answer.

I don't think there's much you could really do about it. I'd say the best thing to do would be continuing to be a good friend, and showing her how great of a person you are. Eventually she might start to see you differently. Physical attraction also has a way of growing over time, especially if you're the kind of guy that people want to be around. However, when everything is said and done, would you want someone who's put you in the friendzone? Who didn't see that you'd be a good boyfriend from the beginning?

Also, please know the difference between being put in the friendzone and being in a friend relationship that is developing (at whatever pace), possibly into something more. She might really like you but some people are just slow movers in this arena.

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I'm not one of the ladies but, I will answer anyway.

Why does a guy get "freindzoned"?

Because he isn't her "one" and she isn't his.  If by some rare chance God intended that the guy be the one for her, for whatever reason, she rejected God's idea and he gives her the right to do that.  God likely has other options lined up for her.  Love is a choice.  It is a willingly given gift.  It's not something that's forced.

Is there anything a guy can do to get out of this situation?

Indeed there is.  He can have some self respect and dignity and move on.  He can find the woman that is his "one" and invest himself -- his time, his energy, his heart, and spirit -- into her instead of expending what belongs to her on someone else.

For some reason most people think that romantic rejection is a horrible thing.  It isn't.  It's a blessing.  It means that even if you can't see that a relationship -- and eventually marriage because that's the point of having a romantic relationship in the first place -- is not feasible or is a bad idea, thankfully the other person did realize it and, did you both a favor by not allowing it to happen.

Romantic rejection is ultimately a blessing.  Be grateful for it and move on.

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I'm not a girl either, but I have a few thoughts on this one:

 

About the friend zone

 

The "friend zone" is something people to use to describe a situation where there isn't mutual attraction. A guy may be attracted to a woman, but she may not feel the same way. He has nice qualities but she doesn't necessarily feel attraction for him, so he continues to be her friend, maybe even hoping someday that she'll see what a great guy he is. If you're familiar at all with Steve Urkel from the sitcom Family Matters and his relationship with Laura Winslow...yeah, same thing.

 

This also happens with the genders flipped, a woman may be interested in a guy and will hang around him while dropping hints that can range from obvious to extremely vague.

 

Escaping the friend zone

 

Generally, there are only a few ways for a guy leave the friend zone:

 

1) She was attracted to you all along and was just waiting for you to make a move.

 

2) You don't see her for a moderately long amount of time, and during this interval, you significantly boost your own attractiveness. For example an overweight, socially awkward guy starts eating right, hitting the gym, finds a steady job, and takes some public speaking classes. When he comes back he's a lot more attractive in her eyes and she sees him differently.

 

There's also the scenario where the guy gradually becomes more attractive, and one day the girl takes note and sees him in a new light.

 

3) You do something that instantly changes her perception of you. Some sudden act of leadership/masculinity (say you end up leading a Bible study, you save someone's life, etc.) and she realizes that there's a side of you that she's never seen before.

 

--

 

That said, if you find yourself in the friend zone, the best thing to do is move on and look for someone that's actually interested in you. Continue to work on improving yourself in the meantime. People put themselves in the friend zone, in most cases it's not worth it to continue hovering around someone in hopes that they'll change their mind some day.

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Wow what timing! I entered the ask the girls section to ask this this question about friend zone and behold there is a topic already.

So my question though is a little different... I think.

I have a friend that I think put me in the friend zone. I never expressed romantic interest in her, and that is probably the biggest issues. I've known her a almost a year. But we have never been close friends.

Is there a way out of a friend zone? I'm not certain I'm in the friend zone but just in case.

She has never rejected me, nor has she had to.

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Wow what timing! I entered the ask the girls section to ask this this question about friend zone and behold there is a topic already.

So my question though is a little different... I think.

I have a friend that I think put me in the friend zone. I never expressed romantic interest in her, and that is probably the biggest issues. I've known her a almost a year. But we have never been close friends.

Is there a way out of a friend zone? I'm not certain I'm in the friend zone but just in case.

She has never rejected me, nor has she had to.

If you want to go out with her more than you want to be just friends then just ask her out. If she turns you down then you move on and only continue being friends if you can move past your feelings and not think of yourself as "friend-zoned".

Just my opinion

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Honestly I'd friendzone guys when I felt like they liked me, but I wasn't attracted to them. 

 

Funny story, one of them is now my boyfriend. It wasn't that I didn't think he was handsome (I remember thinking 'I bet a lot of girls like him'. He just wasn't my type. I always liked masculine, Mexican guys. He's white and feminine. I could tell he liked me. He hugged me a lot, texted me a lot, and always wanted to hang out. For awhile we stopped talking and for some reason I felt like inviting him to the Christian club's Christmas party. He came and we had a lot of fun hanging out. At one point I was washing dishes and we talked in the kitchen for maybe half an hour. We started spending time together outside of school and I noticed I was developing feelings for him. I couldn't deny that we had a lot in common and I felt really comfortable with him, most importantly, we shared the same faith. One day I asked him about how he felt about us and he told me he liked me. I told him I liked him too and we took things slow. Now we've been together for a little over a year. :)

 

I'm glad I didn't try to push the feelings away (Okay I did a little, but it didn't work). He may not be what I pictured my dream guy to be, but he's better. He's absolutely weird (a plus for me), he's sensitive, and I can talk about anything with him. And yes, he is the most handsome man in the world. <3

 

Sorry if that was too mushy. :P Anyways yeah, I'd say its possible to get out of the friendzone. Its really up to the girl to know when a good, handsome man is right in front of her. My advice is don't give up and even if they don't end up liking you back, you've still gained a friend.

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On any day, this is a really interesting subject.

Like everyone has said so far, relationships thrive a lot on mutual attraction (emphasis on 'mutual'). Thing is, attraction in its entirety, works in such a way that at the right time, both people feel a common connection that draws them to the other person. In the case where this attraction happens on one side, the other person remains in the friendzone.

Sometimes I honestly wonder how arranged marriages worked (both biblically and well for the earlier years). I can only imagine that those involved either got very depressed and frustrated or really grew to love each other. Divorce rates in our times are higher than those days. Leaves a lot to think about.

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