LilStar

Dating Non Christians?

13 posts in this topic

Hello,

 

I am new to this site and kind of found it by accident. Anyway, I am a christian and a virgin (Im almost 34, so for a very long time!). I have dated guys that are not christians in the past, just a few. But these are the only guys that seemed intrested in me. We ended up having nothing in common so nothing came of it. Even if they had been christians we were just too opposite.

 

As I have become older, I have decided that I only want to date christian guys now, but it is a lot harder than I thought it would be. No Christian guys are interested in me.

How do you guys feel about dating non Christians? Do you think it is okay at all?

 I guess it has just become frustrating for me, lol. Thanks for answering! :-)

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Hi dear and welcome to the site !! first of all thank you for your sincere note and i hope you gonna reach your goal and find your peace of mind soon. i can see that you are facing difficulties finding the right one for you especially a christian partner as its your choice of man, but it seems that most of those you have met dont see you as a right one for them, personally i would advice you to look for love, respect and understanding for a real happiness cuz if the chosen one truly loves you he would respect you and your believes either he is christian or not ..by the way nowadays most of the recent couples are from different countries and cultures and most are happily stable as their relationship is built under mutual respect and love .

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Thanks for your opinion! I appriciate it! And yes, I definatley want to find someone who I respect and has respect for me as well!

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Hi LilStar. I like the question that you posed and I think it was a great idea to post here. I'm a 21 year old Christian man and I wish to share what I believe from my understanding of Scripture. It reads in 2 Corinthians 6:14 "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?

 

Obviously, I do not think Scripture intended us to have a "holier than thou" mentality towards others. But what are the cons to dating a non-believer? I believe that dating someone who does not share the same faith would water down our faith. How can we connect, grow, and serve in the church in the way God intended us if our spouse is not involved? I find it would be lonely to connect with other Christians at church whereas my wife stays at home because she doesn't believe in God. When you marry, you become one flesh with your spouse. Your core values should be the same and not conflict, right? It's more than "At least he respects my faith." No. You WANT your spouse to Share the same faith! You can grow in fellowship with not only other believers but with your life partner as well.

 

Iron sharpens iron. When you're in a crisis, would you not turn to your spouse for support? Being with a non-believer, I'm afraid they cannot offer spiritual guidance to which we so desperately need. Not only dating a believer should be a priority, but ALSO having the same level of spiritual maturity should be on the check list as well. In my opinion, being with someone who is deeply rooted in faith, we can hang on to each other when the going gets tough, instead of one falling or "dragging" you behind. By the way, I mean everything in the kindest way possible :) I really hope you find the right, GODLY man God has set aside for you, because you deserve oneness with your husband. Cheers!

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Thanks for your opinion! I appriciate it! And yes, I definatley want to find someone who I respect and has respect for me as well!

You welcome !! glad you started to find your way, a happy life wont be complete without a good partner who value  and put you before himself ;)

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Thanks SecretSpy!!! Yes, this is what I have been thinking. Im just having such a hard time connecting with christians in my town. I am trying to be patient and wait though. Thanks for your thoughts, I appriciate them! And no, it didn't sound like you were saying anything is a mean way. I do agree with many things you said actually, it's just become a frusturating issues for me.

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Really it doesn't matter what I think. God said in His word not to be unequally yolked with unbelievers-and for good reasons.

 

Your partner is supposed to be your best friend, someone you can talk about anything with. Do you really want to be with someone who isn't passionate about your first love and doesn't want to hear about Him at all?

 

Another reason is when you're with someone, they're supposed to hold you accountable, to push you towards God, not pull you away from Him. We as believers know that sex is for marriage, but the majority (I know there's a few exceptions on this site) of unbelievers don't see anything wrong with sex before marriage. Chances are if things are getting steamy, he's not going to say "We better stop" he's going to want to keep going. Temptation is hard enough as it is, don't make it harder by being with someone who doesn't share a core value of abstinence.

 

I tried dating an agnostic atheist once just to get the whole dating experience. The whole time I felt guilty knowing God didn't approve of the relationship and it didn't last. Now I'm in a Christ centered relationship and its not perfect, but its wonderful being with a man who prays for me, reads the bible with me, and loves to talk about God with me. Our prayer is that we always put God first and aim to grow closer to Him.

 

My advice is when you do meet a Christian man who likes you who you like back, (It'll happen, give it time) ask God for His approval. He knows every heart and He'll know the man's intentions and if he truly is a believer. He only wants the best for His daughter. :)

 

I know lots of Christian women who married unbelievers. It's a long road of heartbreak and frustration I don't wish on anyone. 

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I might ask a woman out on a who was a non-Christian, but only to find out whether she was a born-again Christian. My goal for marriage is to marry a Born-Again Christian woman. Not only would I only seriously date a Christian, she would have to be a Born-Again Christian. Some things in the New Testament are just ingrained in my brain. Were I to sin, and seriously date and then marry a non Born-Again Christian, I would probably repent later, and than divorce that woman, and be in the clear salvationally speaking - but WHAT A MESS that would be.

 

 

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On 24/01/2017 at 8:53 AM, Jeremy said:

Were I to sin, and seriously date and then marry a non Born-Again Christian, I would probably repent later, and than divorce that woman, and be in the clear salvationally speaking - but WHAT A MESS that would be.

But isn't "divorce" only a Biblical option if your partner commits adultery? As far as I know, believers are counselled/commanded against divorcing a non-believing spouse whether or not they married them as non-believers or if they fell from the faith later on. A believer marrying a non-believer is wrong but I don't believe it excuses another wrong (in this situation) ie divorce.

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On ‎1‎/‎25‎/‎2017 at 1:56 AM, 'tis the Bearded One said:

But isn't "divorce" only a Biblical option if your partner commits adultery? As far as I know, believers are counselled/commanded against divorcing a non-believing spouse whether or not they married them as non-believers or if they fell from the faith later on. A believer marrying a non-believer is wrong but I don't believe it excuses another wrong (in this situation) ie divorce.

1 Corinthians 7:39 guides me: "The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord.
 

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Scripture says: "Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? "

This, of course, is referring to marriage and I suppose you  could play semantics and say you aren't talking about marriage but only dating but since dating leads to marriage I say not to do it.

 

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10 hours ago, HeWhoWaits said:

Scripture says: "Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? "

This, of course, is referring to marriage and I suppose you  could play semantics and say you aren't talking about marriage but only dating but since dating leads to marriage I say not to do it.

 

Apparently I am to new to like a post, here, but I concur.

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23 hours ago, Jeremy said:

1 Corinthians 7:39 guides me: "The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord.
 

I would say the "only in the Lord" applies to "but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will" not that it only applies to marriages where both are believers. It's a qualifier similar to that in Ephesians 6:1: "Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right." It's not saying that children are free to disobey non-believing parents but rather that they do not have to obey when it conflicts with God's law.

To say that believers are free to divorce their spouse simply because their spouse is not (or no longer is) a believer would also conflict with other verses of the Bible such as: 

Matthew 19:9: And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.

1 Corinthians 7:13-14: And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.

Do you consider it sin to be married to (as opposed to marrying) a non-believer?

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