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Geraldine

TO THE GIRL WHO’S ABOUT TO GET MARRIED

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HI everyone :)


I'm sharing this article I've found from the website "Proverb31sisterhood"  http://wp.me/p4VLvZ-gW


I think the author gives very interesting points.


 


"This is most definitely one of the most special times in your life. You’re about to get married to the man God created you for, and that’s great. Enjoy this wonderful season, enjoy the fun and festivities – it only comes around once in a lifetime, after all!


My friend, I caution you not to lose sight of the most important part of the wedding: the marriage. I know it’s so easy to get lost in the wedding planning, picking out the dress, sending out the invitations, cake tasting and all the amazing things that lead up to the big day. However, I don’t want you to focus so much on one day that you forget to focus on the rest of your life. I once read that â€œThe size of your wedding does not indicate the greatness of your marriageâ€, and how true this is! I have come to realise this in my own marriage, and if you’d let me, I’d love to share some insights with you based on my personal experience.


Abandon all pre-conceived notions


I’m not saying don’t set goals for your marriage or don’t strive for certain things as a couple; I’m simply saying, it’s best for both of you to let go of what you think marriage should be. Start on a clean slate together and avoid holding each other to your own standards. I’m saying this because I’ve often judged my husband on what I think he should do or what he should be like according to my own ideas, or even what I’ve read on random a blog somewhere. I realised how unfair this is towards my husband as he cannot possibly adhere to my unrealistic expectations. Your husband is who he is, and you should be able to get to know the real him instead of holding your own pre-conceived concepts over his head. Accept him for who he is, and don’t judge him on your opinion of what he should be.


Change is inevitable, and it won’t always happen the way you expect


Life can sometimes cause people to change – either for the better or for the worse. In those moments, remember that you vowed before God and before family, “for better or for worseâ€. One of my favourite quotes on marriage is by Doug Larson. He says, â€œMore marriages might survive if the partners realised that sometimes the better comes after the worse.†You never know what might happen in the future, but the whole point of marriage is to stand by each other regardless of what comes your way. Things might not always happen the way you’d like – in fact, most of the time it doesn’t – but take those times as a reminder that you are not in control of your life, God is. The only thing you need to do is to hold tightly to God and turn to Him when you feel like you can’t go on.


Get ready to really see yourself


Honestly, the hardest part about marriage for me; is that it makes me see myself for who I really am. It’s so true that the purpose of marriage is to make us holy, more than to simply make us happy. The Holy Spirit is ever present, and in those moments when I least expect it, He uses my own words and actions towards my husband as a mirror – a true reflection of myself. I see things in my heart that I never saw before I was married.


You cannot change your husband


For some reason, we wives think that we can change our husband’s behaviour; and we usually try to accomplish that by nagging. Your husband is his own person and he is directly responsible to God for his actions. He will be held accountable for every word and every deed – just like you. Speaking from my own experience, I have often tried to get my husband to stop doing certain things or to act a certain way. When he didn’t do what I wanted, when I wanted; I would practically lose my mind. You need to know that you cannot control your husband. You need to be able to filter through your emotions and not let them overtake you. I can tell you now that it won’t be easy; but you’ve absolutely got to learn to let go and remind yourself that God is in control. He’s got your back and He’s got His hand on both you and your husband’s lives. If you insist on doing things your way, 100% of the time you will only make things worse. Just get out of the way and let God do what He needs to do.


I’m not telling you this from a know-it-all perspective; I’m telling you this from the perspective of a woman who’s still going through these things and more often than not has to practice what she preaches. Not that I do it perfectly, either. Never forget that marriage is a life-long process that both you and your husband have to go through. Be patient with him and with yourself."


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