Naturally

Prepared to wait forever?

33 posts in this topic

I like to think that I wouldn't settle any more than I am already willing to... I figure if God wants me to get married, as long as I keep venues to meet him open then God will help me find him. But if I'm not married by about the age of forty, I'm gonna devote my life to missions or something and just die a virgin.

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I will never settle in terms of how I feel towards my significant other. Otherwise, you could say I am open minded to "settling" in most ways, though it obviously wouldn't be "settling" if I was in love!

My concept of "settling" has changed over time: I regard settling as more organic than a list of "deal breakers," which I no longer use even though I still have a handful. I think we choose deal breakers and requirements because we expect they will help us feel a certain way towards our hypothetical partner (attraction, love, understanding, admiration, etc).  Changing and limiting my "requirements" as I matured wasn't settling. It was not a downgrade but an upgrade, as I was getting at the heart of what I want in my future spouse.

I am more inclined to follow whether or not I am completely in love with someone. In that case, I would absolutely never settle, never marry, and would remain a virgin unto death.

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No, I know from observation and experience that it's not worth it to lower standards and have sex "just to get it done" when what you really want is to wait until marriage. I am starting to see that I may indeed be waiting forever, that's hard but not as hard as the psychic pain of breaking off little pieces of my soul just for a moment's comfort or pleasure.

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If I never find anyone & marry her, ill never do it. Simple as that.

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I won't settle, but over the years my 'requirements' have changed, to be honest. I mean, I've never considered a fellow virgin a MUST. Sure, it would be nice, but I consider that a bonus. As for will I change my mind on waiting? I have to admit, I have considered it, but I always come back to waiting. It's much too important to me. Not for religious reasons, but emotional and pragmatic reasons. So, if I never marry? I'll stay a virgin.

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I've been thinking about this a lot lately. I'm starting to wonder how many of us are going to be waiting forever, and if I'll be included or not. I think I will be, so I need to prepare myself mentally for that, and be happy about it. :superwaiter:

I don't know why, but I feel like most of us will be alone forever. It's so ironic that the one thing you've been waiting for, you might never get, simply because you are waiting for it. It almost doesn't make any sense, lol.

But good luck to everyone! :)

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Thanks @Adam. I actually feel a lot better about it now. You're right that being optimistic is better than moping around about it, and assuming the worst. I don't know how I'll feel after I reach a certain age (if I'm still alone) :o, but I suppose that if I work on my own happiness from now, it won't be so bad when I get there.

I wonder if our preferences get in the way more than non-waiters. I think most people tend to be way too specific about what they want, but because they aren't waiters, it's easier for them to date around and get to know different people, eventually falling in love unexpectedly. Since our options are limited, we have a lot of time on our hands to come up with the perfect dream guy/ girl, and because most of us don't feel we have the luxury to mess around, if we don't get that dream person, we aren't interested. (Why do I feel like I've said this before? :blink:) I know I'm that way, but those guys were more than likely, all non-waiters. My theory might be wrong though, as I don't see why waiters can't fall in love unexpectedly as well. I'm more so thinking of myself, maybe. :rolleyes:

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15 hours ago, Faeries said:

I don't see why waiters can't fall in love unexpectedly as well. I'm more so thinking of myself, maybe. :rolleyes:

I'm pretty much like that too. I don't believe in love at first site or any of that sort of stuff, lust at first sight is what I believe happens. How can you possibly fall in love with someone you know nothing about?  I believe that allowing yourself to fall in love with someone is a choice and it's probably because we have so much more to lose in comparison to non-waiters. We aren't after the physical aspect in a relationship so emotionally, we have to be much more guarded and that probably prevents us from "falling in love" in comparison to non-waiters (I could be very wrong about this though). 

Oddly enough I've had this conversation with my friends about "my list" and it's pretty long but less and less of them are deal-breakers as I get older with my main deal-breakers being that they are: Christian, virgin, older than me, have a good education.  However, if I was to meet a non-virgin, they would need to tick every item on my long list before I could even consider dating them. 

But honestly, I'm at a point where I would be very willing to wait forever but after a certain age I don't think I'd want to get married if I haven't met someone by then :P 

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