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Peter

Could you live with an astronaut?

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Title is somewhat click-bait, but feel free to answer ;)

So let me clarify; Could you live with someone who has a job that takes a lot of time periodically?

 

For example if your love is an astronaut who spends 4 months away at a time on the ISS before coming home. Or someone working offshore on a ship or an oil rig, away 2-4 weeks at a time, and then being home 2-4 weeks at a time and so on repeating. (The away/home schedule can roughly be shaped to desire at the cost of how much you earn. Any combinations 2/2, 2/4, 4/2, 4/4 etc.)

 

My concerns would be that it is not optimal for a family, especially children considered. Or is it? Having 4 weeks home opens a lot of opportunities that most people don't have time for. At the same time, 4 weeks out will limit your family interaction. Astronaut would present the same situation, though more extreme.

 

So what do you think? Could you have a relationship with an astronaut or someone working offshore? Your concerns? Opportunities? What is your sweet spot for how long your spouse should be away/home at a time?

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Good question. I personally wouldn't mind it that much. Lots of situations are doable as long as you plan it out first. How to care for your kids, communication, etc. Just talk about it. I would be far more concerned about a job that's dangerous, and I'm the type of person that prefers be rewarded in one lump sum as opposed to a little at a time. For example, I would absolutely hate if he (or I) alternated between working one day and being off the next. But I suppose I'd still get to see him everyday. If he was completely gone for a long time but was home all day for the same amount of time once he's back, then it would still have its benefits. There's always a trade off for everything and they do say that absence makes the heart grow fonder. Lol, I hope I don't marry an astronaut though. That's way to much!

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Ha, true. Most astronauts only go to space once tho, so its ~4 months in a life, and I guess it counts as much as an experience as a job.

 

Didn't think about the concerns such jobs (assuming dangers exist) might bring with them... That's probably the worst.

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Yes, I would be okay with it.  I need solitude to rest and recharge, so I would actually enjoy having weeks or months at a time to do my own thing while my partner was away.  That's why the idea of long distance relationships has never really phased me.  I also like the idea of living-apart-together (LAT), but that's a topic that should probably have its own thread.

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I'd say no.

 

I don't think the example you used is really the best, but it seems you are mainly asking if you could be with someone whose job/career caused long periods in which you were separated from each other.

 

The answer for me is no. Sometimes I think I'm too picky but I have strong feelings about this. There are lots of jobs that would make a person someone I'd not want to be with romantically. I wouldn't date a soldier, more women are in the military these days. I wouldn't put myself in a situation to where we are at the mercy of the government and they can be shipped off (even if she's a mom) for months, years at a time. There's no way I'd do that.

 

Probably the biggest career field I'd avoid is acting. I have very high intimacy barriers as far as what is good touch, bad touch, what is ok and what isn't and anyone in acting would be asked to romantically kiss their co-stars, be touched by them, do skimpy scenes, shower scenes, possibly nude scenes. I don't share. "But it's acting, it's not real, it's just their job", there is no pretend with me. You don't pretend kiss someone, you kiss them. There is no such thing as pretend. You kiss them, you've been unfaithful, regardless of how you "felt". No actresses. I enjoy movies but if one envisions that woman (or man) on the screen as your spouse and that everything they were doing on the screen was your spouse doing it while going to work that day than acting doesn't seem like a good job for a healthy marriage. Plus they are gone so long while filming on locations.

 

Any job to where we don't see each other at the end of the day and to where they could disappear for weeks at a time with no notice wouldn't be an acceptable relationship for me.

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What a specific question. :)

Yes, I could. Actually, I have always thought I'd be a perfect match for someone who had to be away a lot, or had long work hours. It's not that I don't want to be near the person, it's just that I feel like I'd be ok with my own time and space if we could talk, or skype, even for a short time once a day or at least a few times a week. I guess the key, for me, is (if indeed there is someone for me) to find someone who feels the same way. Like, as long as our time together is quality and full of love, then our love will be fine as long as there's communication in times of separation.

I do think it might be difficult if there were kids involved (but I don't want children, unless they're adopted, and right now I've got my nephews...and I want to travel a lot later in life) because kids might miss him, and have a difficult time if he was away, but it would not be impossible.

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I'm an airline brat so I'm used to having my dad gone so yeah that wouldn't bother me. My life story with my father is basically Cats in the Cradle especially now that I'm busy with my brother and my brother is never home either always hanging out with his friends

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