Queen

Long Distance Online Dating?

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You meet someone online and they seem like a great match for you.  But they live miles and miles away.  If you're in the U.S., then they live several states away.  Are long-distance relationships worth it?  Can they work? If so, how?

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I think that long distance relationships can work, but they take a lot of work and commitment. That being said if you think they are right for you does distance really matter? They way I think of it is, sure you might be hundreds or even thousands of miles apart but if this is the person you are going to spend the rest of your life with then you'll have decades to be together.

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Even never have been in a relationship myself, I can confidently say yes it most definitely can work. It just means you have to make a bigger commitment to each other and to be sure the other person is worth the effort. It also means you have to have the conversation of where to live should you both get married sooner rather than later. LDRs can even have benefits too. Distance can be a good test of the commitment and if you can overcome it, then I think you can get through anything. It makes you less likely to take each other for granted and to really cherish the little time you are physically with them.

 

My parents spent most of their courtship literally on opposite ends of the world. My dad was in Hong Kong while my mom was in Canada. They lived in an era where they could only communicate through writing letters and occasionally through landline phones. Yet they made it work and their commitment really paid off. Now I'm not saying there aren't legitimate reasons that an LDR couldn't work. But for the most part, I don't think most of us have any excuse in this day and age where we have so many easy ways to communicate.

 

Truth be told, there was once a girl I connected with so well who lived in another state. Unfortunately nothing came of it due to circumstances unrelated to distance and just bad timing in general. But had it not been for that, I believe we could have had something really special. I knew both of us would have given it our all to ensure it would have worked.

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I think it can work. If you really like the other person and they like you, you should be able to deal with the distance because if you care about each oter, you'll eventually find a way to meet. But I think it's important to talk a lot about who you are to each other, even if that means admitting to your bad qualities that he can't see unless he's with you. That way you guys won't be as uncomfortable or confused about each other when you see each other.

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Just as an example: One of my best friends was in an LDR for 3 years with a guy from Florida while she was living in New York. She eventually moved to Florida to be with him and they've been married now for 2 years. It can work but it will be difficult of course. I'd say at least try if you know that you really like the person. It might turn into something really awesome!  

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With every passing day it becomes more real and popular than ever, with all the technologies and the audio visual communications everything is helping to have a complete relationship and make it succeed, and personally am sure it will work but as any other ordinary relationship it needs sincerity and transparency so the both partner can be physically and emotionally a part of it. i lived this experience with my best friend and his actual wife who are both from different continent and got married and moved to the States which is a third continent and happily married with a little girl now ..happy ends happen when we work to make it happen :)

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Ok, mine didn't work out and, maybe, we went about it the wrong way, but I still think it was worth it, and I would do it again. I'd just go about it a little differently...but, yes, totally worth it. 

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(Christ this is old, thanks for resurrecting it @PhotoGirl)

As someone who lives in England and who wants to move country anyway, I've become more open to the idea of a long distance relationship over the past few years, especially when it comes to culture. England mostly abandoned Catholicism and Christianity a long time ago so we don't really have little pockets of more traditional people who want to wait for marriage and get married and have kids(it's seriously gone out of style here!). And also I'm getting tired of our lack of First Amendment here and overwhelming immigration lol.

I know with LDRs there are downsides, but I think that when you know that person on the other side of the computer screen is someone who has strong enough values and willpower to wait for marriage, you can relax a bit because you know you both are serious about finding a partner, and not just a fling. A lot of LDRs end when one partner or the other gets tired of not having regular sex or physical contact, but in this case you don't have that hanging over you :) 

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I'd say no, they don't work.

Maybe if it is just temporary and you'll be soon relocating to where they are or vise versa but only for a short time. Being together, face to face is too important.

 

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There is a lot to be said against long-distance relationships, mostly because they are difficult emotionally. Most people would consider the physical aspect being missing quite relevant, but in our group it's a little less relevant. Still, there is a certain emotional disconnection that is inherent to physical distance.

That being said, I am actually perfectly open to a relationship being long-distance for a time. I have full faith that they can work if, and only if, both parties are mature and truly devoted to each other, and they have solid plans to live together in the future. I won't get into it, but I might be the pickiest person on this forum, and I wouldn't let any degree of distance stop me from trying to make it work with a girl I truly like and is willing to try to make it work with me.

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On January 29, 2016 at 4:09 PM, Queen said:

You meet someone online and they seem like a great match for you.  But they live miles and miles away.  If you're in.  Are long-distance relationships worth it?  Can they work? If so, how?

I think long distance relationships are worth it. I think the quality of the relationship will depend on the maturity of the people involved. For example, responding to a person via email may take time and some people may not be patient on waiting. I think that's a characteristic of doing this type of relationship. 

Then, you also have the thought of distance. If she lives in another country that could be another obstacle to meeting each other but I think it is possible, 

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